唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cải thiện cấu trúc câu để rõ ràng hơn, tránh lặp từ và dùng liên từ hợp lý; cụ thể: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, rồi dùng một hoặc hai câu bổ trợ với chi tiết cụ thể (khi nào, cảm giác ra sao). Tránh dùng quá nhiều động từ cùng ý (enjoy, healing) lặp lại không cần thiết và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ (ví dụ: "for enjoying myself" → "to enjoy myself").

示例: Not really — I'm not a big fan of singing. However, sometimes I sing alone in my room to relax after a long day of work because music helps me unwind and lift my mood.

建议: Tránh dùng từ mang tính tự chê quá mạnh ("terrible") — thay bằng mô tả chính xác hơn; sắp xếp câu theo cấu trúc: câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp, rồi nêu chi tiết (khi học, kết quả, cảm nhận). Sử dụng liên từ đơn giản để nối các ý và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "their self" → "themselves", "enjoy my friends present" → "enjoy my friends' company").

示例: Yes, I have taken some singing lessons, but I still struggle with pitch and control. So now I prefer listening to my friends sing and enjoying their performances rather than performing myself.

建议: Câu trả lời cần ngắn gọn, rõ ràng: nêu người, lý do và mong muốn cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ (hear and listen) và sửa lỗi số ít/số nhiều ("my best friend" → "them" có thể gây mơ hồ). Nên nói rõ mong muốn nhận phản hồi cụ thể (ví dụ: góp ý về giai điệu hoặc nhịp).

示例: I'd choose my best friend because they know my tastes and can give honest feedback. I would ask them to comment on my pitch and rhythm so I can practise and improve.

建议: Rút gọn câu chủ đề rồi giải thích bằng ví dụ hoặc lý do cụ thể; sửa các cụm không tự nhiên ("embrace their self", "win their mind", "hurling their self"). Dùng từ phù hợp như "immerse themselves", "calm their minds", "after a long day". Hạn chế độ dài, tối đa 3–4 câu và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc.

示例: Yes, I believe singing and music can make people happy. For example, after a stressful day I often listen to upbeat songs to relax and lift my mood, or I sing along to feel more positive.

× I'm not a big fan of singing, but sometimes I can sit alone in my room singing unconsciously just for enjoying myself with music and healing myself after a long day with work and homework.

✓ I'm not a big fan of singing, but sometimes I sit alone in my room singing unconsciously just to enjoy myself with music and to relax after a long day of work and homework.

Use of modal 'can' is unnecessary here; 'sit alone... singing' is fine without 'can'. 'Just for enjoying myself' is incorrect collocation; use 'just to enjoy myself' (infinitive purpose). 'Healing myself' is awkward in this context—use 'to relax' or 'to unwind'. Use 'a long day of work and homework' for correct preposition and noun phrase.

× I have learned how to sing but my voice is too terrible to adapt with music.

✓ I have learned how to sing, but my voice is too terrible to match the music.

Use of 'adapt with' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'match' or 'adapt to'. 'Adapt' requires 'to' not 'with' when meaning adjust; 'adapt to the music' or 'match the music'. The present perfect 'have learned' is acceptable here.

× I just sit alone in the corner of the room, enjoy my friends present and just enjoy how they sing and how they dip their self into music.

✓ I just sit alone in the corner of the room, enjoy my friends' presence, and enjoy how they sing and how they immerse themselves in the music.

Use 'friends' presence' (possessive noun) instead of 'friends present'. 'Dip their self into music' is incorrect: use 'immerse themselves in the music' (correct reflexive pronoun 'themselves' and preposition 'in'). Also add 'and' for list parallelism.

× Maybe it's my best friend, I want them to hear and listen to my voice.

✓ Maybe it's my best friend; I want them to hear my voice.

Avoid redundancy 'hear and listen to' — 'hear' or 'listen to' suffice; 'hear my voice' is natural. 'Maybe it's my best friend' is acceptable; semicolon or period improves sentence separation. 'Them' is acceptable as singular gender-neutral pronoun.

× After that they will judge and give me some improvement and suggestion to improve my voice.

✓ After that they will give me feedback and suggestions to help improve my voice.

'Judge and give me some improvement' is awkward. Use 'give me feedback and suggestions' for natural expression. 'Some improvement' is uncountable here; 'suggestions to help improve my voice' clarifies purpose.

× Definitely yes, in my perspective music can bring happiness to everyone because when they listen to the song they can embrace their self into the music and healing and win their mind after a long day walk or just hurling their self because of relationship.

✓ Definitely. From my perspective, music can bring happiness to everyone because when they listen to a song they can immerse themselves in the music, relax, and clear their minds after a long walk or after struggling because of relationship problems.

Use 'From my perspective' instead of 'in my perspective'. 'The song' -> 'a song'. 'Embrace their self into the music' is incorrect: use 'immerse themselves in the music' (correct reflexive pronoun 'themselves' and preposition 'in'). 'Healing and win their mind' is unclear; use 'relax and clear their minds'. 'A long day walk' incorrect — use 'a long walk' or 'a long day'. 'Hurling their self because of relationship' is incorrect and non-native; use 'struggling because of relationship problems'.