唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and positive. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating the same idea (teacher said I'm bad) and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words like 'however' to connect contrasting ideas.

示例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it makes me feel relaxed and happy. However, I rarely sing in front of many people because I was teased about my voice when I was younger, which made me shy. Despite that, I sometimes sing alone to lift my mood.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and one specific detail about learning (length, methods, feelings). Avoid vague negative statements; explain why improvement was limited (infrequent lessons, practice). Use a linking word such as 'although' to show contrast.

示例: Yes, I took weekly singing lessons when I was a child. Although I attended lessons regularly, I didn't practise enough at home, so my progress was limited and I eventually stopped taking lessons.

建议: Answer directly and give a concise reason. Use one linking word and a specific detail about the desire (occasion or feeling). Avoid repeating 'I really' multiple times and the negative statements about ability—phrase them briefly.

示例: When I was a child I wanted to sing for my mother, but now I would like to sing for my boyfriend to surprise him on a special day, such as his birthday. However, I am still practising because I'm not fully confident yet.

建议: Start with a clear, general opinion, then give one specific example that supports it. Keep personal qualifications brief and use linking words ('for example', 'for instance') to connect the example to the opinion.

示例: Yes, I believe singing can make people happier because it reduces stress and lifts the mood. For example, my boyfriend sang for me on my birthday and I felt very happy and touched.

× it helps to heal me from inside.

✓ it helps heal me from the inside.

Use of preposition 'from' is unnecessary and the idiom is 'from the inside' or simply 'heal me from the inside'. Removing 'to' after 'helps' makes the verb form correct: 'helps heal' rather than 'helps to heal' in this context.

× when I was young a lot of people used to bully me due to my bad singing and my teacher also told me.

✓ when I was young a lot of people used to bully me because of my bad singing, and my teacher also told me that.

The phrase 'due to' is better replaced with 'because of' for causal meaning with people; also add 'that' after 'told me' to complete the reported clause. Keep past tense 'used to' for habitual past actions.

× My singing teacher also told me that I'm very bad at singing.

✓ My singing teacher also told me that I was very bad at singing.

Reported speech requires backshifting of present tense 'I'm' to past tense 'I was' because the reporting verb 'told' is in the past.

× I also try to learn but can't.

✓ I also tried to learn but couldn't.

Context refers to past attempts, so verbs should be in past tense: 'tried' and 'couldn't' to match 'when I was young' earlier.

× Have you ever learnt how to sing?

✓ Have you ever learned how to sing?

Both 'learnt' and 'learned' are acceptable; choose 'learned' (American) or keep 'learnt' (British). No grammatical error if regional; this suggestion standardizes to 'learned'.

× my singing teacher used to come once in a week and I used to learn there.

✓ my singing teacher used to come once a week and I used to learn there.

The correct expression is 'once a week' rather than 'once in a week'.

× But I didn't get any improvement in my singing.

✓ But I didn't see any improvement in my singing.

Use 'see' or 'make' with 'improvement'. 'Get any improvement' is non-idiomatic; past tense 'didn't see' fits context.

× That's why I never get into singing.

✓ That's why I never got into singing.

The speaker refers to a past outcome, so 'get' should be past 'got' to maintain past timeline.

× I really wanted to sing for my mother when I was young, but after growing up, I really wanted to sing for my boyfriend.

✓ I really wanted to sing for my mother when I was young, but after growing up I wanted to sing for my boyfriend.

No tense change needed, but remove redundant 'really' and comma before 'I wanted' is optional. Main issue is stylistic redundancy; keeping past tense is correct.

× I also wanted to like surprise him with the beautiful singing skills.

✓ I also wanted to surprise him with my beautiful singing.

'Like' is unnecessary and informal here; 'with the beautiful singing skills' is awkward—use 'with my beautiful singing' to indicate performing for him.

× But I don't know, I have not improved in singing yet.

✓ But I don't know; I haven't improved at singing yet.

Use present perfect contraction 'haven't' and preposition 'at' with 'improved' ('improved at singing'). Maintain 'yet' for unfinished action up to now.

× Yes definitely singing helps to calm and relax your mind.

✓ Yes, definitely, singing helps to calm and relax the mind.

Add commas for clarity and use 'the mind' or 'your mind'; choose one consistently. Also 'helps calm and relax' without 'to' is more natural.

× Umm I'm not good in singing but my boyfriend sings very well.

✓ Umm I'm not good at singing, but my boyfriend sings very well.

Use 'good at' not 'good in' when referring to ability.

× When in my birthday he sings I feel really happy at that time.

✓ When he sings on my birthday, I feel really happy.

Correct preposition is 'on my birthday'; reorder clause to 'When he sings on my birthday,' and remove redundant 'at that time'.