唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Shorten and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise supporting reasons. Avoid repetition and minor grammar errors (e.g. "more relaxed"). Use linking phrases like "Firstly" and "Secondly."

示例: Yes, I enjoy singing. Firstly, it makes me happy because I can express my emotions. Secondly, it helps reduce stress—singing relaxes me after a long day.

建议: Give a clear timeline and a concise reason for stopping, using linking words and correct grammar. Avoid repetition ("has to has to") and finish your thought. Provide one or two specific details about the lessons.

示例: Yes. I took singing lessons two years ago, but I didn't complete the course because the lessons were at home and my practice disturbed my family. For example, I had to practice high notes for thirty minutes each day, which made it difficult to continue.

建议: Be specific and fluent: state the person and explain clearly why, using coherent linking and avoiding repetition. Complete your sentences and give a concrete example of how the singer's songs relate to you.

示例: I would like to sing for Elena Tondra, a British singer, because her lyrics reflect my own experiences. For instance, her song about growing up helped me understand my feelings during a difficult time.

建议: Clarify your main idea and avoid repetition. Use linking words to contrast ideas (e.g. "However"), and give a specific example showing emotional effect. Finish sentences clearly.

示例: Not always; it depends on the song. However, singing can be powerful because of the emotional connection it creates. For example, a sad ballad may make someone cry yet still provide comfort and a sense of release.

× The vibration of the vocal cords helps calm anxiety and helps you more relaxed.

✓ The vibration of the vocal cords helps calm anxiety and helps you feel more relaxed.

The phrase 'more relaxed' is an adjective describing the subject's state, but the sentence needs a verb to link 'helps' to that state. Use the verb 'feel' after 'helps you' to form a correct verb phrase: 'helps you feel more relaxed.' This corrects a missing present participle/verb usage and creates a complete predicate.

× Yes I took a singing lesson 2 years ago but I didn't finish the course because the lesson has to has to be taken from home and it was disturbing to my family because I had to sing to a certain notes where it can get annoying so I stopped it because my family gets very.

✓ Yes, I took singing lessons two years ago, but I didn't finish the course because the lessons had to be taken at home and they disturbed my family; I had to sing certain notes that could get annoying, so I stopped because my family became very upset.

Multiple issues: inconsistent tense and incorrect verb forms. 'Has to has to be taken' is erroneous repetition; use past tense 'had to' because the action refers to two years ago. 'From home' should be 'at home' (preposition), and 'a certain notes' is plural mismatch and article error; use 'certain notes.' 'Where it can get annoying' is informal and unclear; use 'that could get annoying.' 'My family gets very' is incomplete; add an adjective like 'upset.' Corrections follow past tense consistency.

× the lesson has to has to be taken from home

✓ the lessons had to be taken at home

Use the preposition 'at' to indicate location where lessons take place ('taken at home'), not 'from.' Also correct number agreement and tense: 'lessons' and past 'had to.'

× I took a singing lesson 2 years ago

✓ I took singing lessons two years ago

If the context describes attending multiple sessions of a course, use the plural 'singing lessons.' Also spell out numbers below 10 in formal writing: 'two years ago.' If only one session was meant, keep singular but clarify as 'a single singing lesson.'

× I had to sing to a certain notes where it can get annoying so I stopped it because my family gets very.

✓ I had to sing certain notes that could get annoying, so I stopped because my family became very upset.

The original sentence is run-on and incomplete. Remove the preposition 'to' before 'certain notes,' change 'where it can get annoying' to 'that could get annoying' for correct clause structure, and complete the final clause with an adjective ('upset') and past tense 'became' to match the past context.

× I always wanted to sing for Elena Tondra.

✓ I have always wanted to sing for Elena Tondra.

Use present perfect 'have always wanted' to express a desire that started in the past and continues to the present. This improves tense accuracy for a lasting preference. Pronoun use is acceptable here; main issue is tense.

× I believe we have, we both have a lot in common.

✓ I believe we both have a lot in common.

The original includes an unnecessary repetition 'we have, we both have.' Remove redundancy to create a clear sentence: 'I believe we both have a lot in common.'

× Of course she doesn't know that, but from my perspective, the words her words her her songs really reflect on my life a lot and it resonates a lot with.

✓ Of course she doesn't know that, but from my perspective, her words and songs really reflect my life a lot and resonate with me.

The sentence contains repeated words and incorrect pronoun/object placement. Combine 'her words and songs' as the subject, use 'reflect my life' (not 'reflect on my life' in this context) and 'resonate with me' to provide a correct object. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'resonate' to match plural subject 'words and songs.'

× It doesn't necessarily bring happiness. It depends on the bit of the music.

✓ It doesn't necessarily bring happiness; it depends on the mood of the music.

'Bit of the music' is incorrect collocation. Use 'mood of the music' to express which aspect affects happiness. Also join closely related sentences with a semicolon or conjunction for flow.

× But the connection between me and music really depends on emotional connection.

✓ But the connection between me and music really depends on the emotional connection I feel.

The phrase was repetitive and vague. Add 'the' before 'emotional connection' and specify 'I feel' to clarify whose emotional connection matters. This corrects article use and clarifies meaning.

× So if I feel emotional emotional connection between me and the song, it doesn't matter if it makes me happy or sad.

✓ So if I feel an emotional connection between myself and the song, it doesn't matter whether it makes me happy or sad.

Use the article 'an' before 'emotional connection.' Remove duplicate 'emotional.' Use reflexive or object pronoun 'myself' (or 'me') for clarity; here 'myself' emphasizes the speaker's experience. Use 'whether' instead of 'if' for two alternatives 'happy or sad.'

× I just have the feel that connection that.

✓ I just feel that connection.

The original is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the simple verb 'feel' with the object 'that connection' to express the idea clearly. Remove extra words.