鞋子— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan struktur kalimat agar lebih natural dan efektif. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih singkat dan jelas, serta hindari pengulangan kata seperti 'great a very great'.

示例: Yes, I really like buying shoes, especially Nike because they have great designs and are very comfortable to wear.

建议: Perjelas dan susun ulang kalimat agar lebih koheren dan mudah dipahami. Hindari pengulangan kata dan gunakan linking words untuk menghubungkan ide.

示例: I don't buy shoes online very often because I can't try them on first, but sometimes I do buy shoes online when I find a good deal.

建议: Gunakan kalimat yang lebih terstruktur dan jelas. Jelaskan dengan spesifik dan gunakan linking words untuk menghubungkan ide.

示例: That's a tough question. I usually spend around 1,000,000 rupiahs on shoes, but the price can be higher or lower depending on the type of shoes.

建议: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan gunakan kalimat yang lebih singkat dan jelas. Gunakan linking words untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

示例: I prefer comfortable shoes for work, but on weekends I like to wear fashionable shoes. However, overall, comfort is more important to me than fashion.

× I love shoes, I love many kind of shoes, but what I love the most is the Nike one because it offers great a very great design and so comfortable when we use the shoes.

✓ I love shoes, I love many kinds of shoes, but what I love the most is the Nike one because it offers a very great design and is so comfortable when we use the shoes.

The phrase 'many kind of shoes' is incorrect because 'kind' should be pluralized to 'kinds' when referring to multiple types. Also, 'great a very great design' is redundant and incorrectly ordered; it should be 'a very great design'. Additionally, the sentence lacks the verb 'is' before 'so comfortable'. These corrections improve grammatical accuracy and clarity.

× Not that often because we can't even try when we bought when we buy shoes online, but sometimes when it it, it made it the most. I will buy, uh, some shoes online.

✓ Not that often because we can't even try when we buy shoes online, but sometimes, when it is the most convenient, I will buy some shoes online.

The original sentence has confusing tense usage and unclear phrasing. 'When we bought when we buy' is incorrect; it should be 'when we buy' to maintain present tense. The phrase 'when it it, it made it the most' is unclear and likely intended to express 'when it is the most convenient'. Modal verb 'will' is correctly used for future intention. Clarifying and correcting these parts improves understanding and grammatical correctness.

× Tough question. Let me think around 1,000,000 what I have spent for the shoes. But sometimes it gets higher, sometimes cheaper and it depends on the type of shoes.

✓ Tough question. Let me think, I have spent around 1,000,000 on shoes. But sometimes it gets higher, sometimes cheaper, and it depends on the type of shoes.

The phrase 'around 1,000,000 what I have spent for the shoes' is awkward and ungrammatical. It should be reordered to 'I have spent around 1,000,000 on shoes' for clarity and correctness. The plural 'shoes' is correct here. The rest of the sentence is acceptable.

× Of course when we going to work it will more to the comfortable shoes, but when it comes to weekend, I love the fashionable shoes, yes, but the comfortable shoes outweigh the fashionable shoes I think.

✓ Of course, when we go to work, it will be more about comfortable shoes, but when it comes to the weekend, I love fashionable shoes. Yes, but I think comfortable shoes outweigh fashionable shoes.

The phrase 'when we going to work' is incorrect; it should be 'when we go to work' to use the correct present tense. 'It will more to the comfortable shoes' is ungrammatical; it should be 'it will be more about comfortable shoes'. Also, 'when it comes to weekend' needs the definite article 'the' before 'weekend'. These corrections improve grammatical accuracy and fluency.