爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid short fragments and grammatical errors (e.g., "books that excite me"). Use varied vocabulary and keep it within 3–5 sentences.

示例: Yes, I have several hobbies. I enjoy playing instruments, especially the bass guitar and piano, because practicing helps me relax and improve my musical skills. I also like reading; recently I’ve been reading contemporary novels that explore interesting characters and ideas.

建议: Remove fillers (e.g., "uh") and use past tense consistently. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details and a linking word to connect ideas. Mentioning outcomes (e.g., selling bracelets) is good—make it more concise and fluent.

示例: Yes, I did. As a child I learned to play the piano, and I also made friendship bracelets with my sister and friends. In fact, we even sold some of them to neighbors, which taught me a bit about entrepreneurship.

建议: Avoid repetition and correct small grammatical errors (e.g., "I've I'm"). Start with a concise topic sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words. Keep to 2–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary to explain feelings or benefits.

示例: Yes, I do — I have played the piano since I was a child. I still practice regularly because it gives me a strong sense of achievement and allows me to be creative through composing and interpreting pieces.

建议: Clarify tense and structure: use one clear topic sentence, then add a specific detail with a linking word. Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms (e.g., "my father play"). Mention who shares the hobby and how, briefly.

示例: Yes, my hobbies overlap with my family's. For example, my father used to play the guitar when he was young, and now I play the guitar too, so we often talk about music and learn from each other.

× Especially I like to play some instruments like bass guitar and piano.

✓ Especially, I like to play some instruments, such as the bass guitar and the piano.

Use of 'like to play' is acceptable but 'some instruments like bass guitar and piano' is awkward. Replace 'like' with 'such as' and add articles 'the' for specific instruments. Also add comma after 'Especially' for clarity.

× And also I like reading books.

✓ I also like reading books.

Word order: 'And also' is redundant and informal. Use 'I also like' for correct present simple sentence structure.

× Nowadays I'm reading books that excites me.

✓ Nowadays I'm reading books that excite me.

Relative clause subject 'books' is plural, so the verb should be 'excite' not 'excites'. This is a subject-verb agreement error relating to verb form in a relative clause.

× When I was a child, uh, I was playing piano and also I was making some bracelets with my friends and my sister and then we sold them to people in our neighborhoods.

✓ When I was a child, I played the piano and also made some bracelets with my friends and my sister, and then we sold them to people in our neighborhood.

Use simple past ('played', 'made') for habitual or completed past actions rather than past continuous. Add 'the' before 'piano' and 'neighborhood' should be singular here. Remove filler 'uh' and streamline conjunctions.

× I've played the piano since I was a kid.

✓ I've been playing the piano since I was a kid.

When describing an action that started in the past and continues to the present, present perfect continuous ('have been playing') is more natural. 'I've played' can be used but 'have been playing' emphasizes ongoing activity.

× I still play the piano because it makes me feel like I've I'm doing something great and I'm creating something.

✓ I still play the piano because it makes me feel like I'm doing something great and creating something.

Remove the redundant 'I've' and avoid repeating 'I'm'. Use parallel gerunds: 'doing' and 'creating'. This fixes the sentence structure and redundancy.

× Naturally, except my father play the guitar when he was young and now I'm playing, I'm playing the guitar.

✓ Naturally, for example, my father played the guitar when he was young, and now I play the guitar.

Use past simple 'played' for his past ability. Fix subject-verb agreement: 'my father play' is incorrect. Remove repeated phrase 'I'm playing, I'm playing' and use 'I play' for general habit.

× So yeah, I can say that we have the same hobby with my father.

✓ So yeah, I can say that my father and I share the same hobby.

More natural English: 'share the same hobby' or 'have the same hobby' with correct word order 'my father and I' rather than 'we ... with my father'.