爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by two specific supporting points. Avoid repetition (e.g., saying “I love” repeatedly) and correct small grammar issues (e.g., “I made one Instagram page” → “I created an Instagram page”). Use one linking word to connect ideas (e.g., “also” or “for example”).

示例: I enjoy visual arts and dance. For example, I paint landscapes and work on home decorations, and I created an Instagram page to share my crafts and get feedback. This feedback helps me improve my techniques and develop new ideas.

建议: Focus on a clear past-tense structure and avoid fragmented or repeated sentences. Begin with a direct topic sentence in past tense, add one specific anecdote with coherent linking words, and fix grammar (e.g., “are my hobbies that stays” → “were my hobbies that stayed”). Remove incomplete sentences.

示例: When I was a child, I enjoyed dancing, painting and riding my bicycle. For example, I often rode with friends to the nearby park and we would cycle around the city, which helped me feel independent and active.

建议: Answer directly and use consistent tense. State which hobby you have continued, then give a clear reason and one specific detail about when or how you do it. Fix awkward phrasing (e.g., “it gives me a freedom of and sense of satisfaction” → “it gives me a sense of freedom and satisfaction”). Use a linking phrase like “because” or “for example.”

示例: Yes — I have continued cycling since childhood because it relaxes me. For example, whenever I feel stressed, I ride to the park with friends, which gives me a sense of freedom and satisfaction.

建议: Keep the reply concise and contrast your hobbies with family members using a clear linking word like “however.” Avoid exaggerated adjectives that sound unnatural (e.g., “impeccable,” “splendid”) and correct grammar and word order. Give one specific example of a family hobby for clarity.

示例: No — my hobbies are different from my family’s. For example, my father and sister focus on academics and accounting, and my mother enjoys cooking; however, I prefer painting and cycling, which I do in my free time.

× I love to do dance, painting and making landscapes.

✓ I love dancing, painting and making landscapes.

After verbs of liking (love), use the gerund form for activities. 'Love to do dance' is incorrect word order and form; 'dancing' is the correct gerund noun form.

× Nowadays, I'm working on the general decorations.

✓ Nowadays, I'm working on general decorations.

The article 'the' before 'general decorations' is unnecessary when speaking about a general ongoing activity. Remove 'the' to match natural present continuous usage.

× I also made one Instagram page to show my talent.

✓ I also made an Instagram page to show my talent.

Use the indefinite article 'an' before a singular countable noun beginning with a vowel sound. 'One' is not the typical article here; 'an' is more natural for indicating a single page created in the past.

× For instance, I post some of my art craft work over there to get some feedback to improve my skill.

✓ For instance, I post some of my art and craft work there to get feedback to improve my skills.

Use 'art and craft' or 'art and craftwork'; 'art craft' is nonstandard. Remove 'over' in 'over there'—'there' suffices. 'Feedback' is uncountable so no 'some' necessary, and 'skill' should be plural 'skills' when speaking generally.

× Dancing, painting and bicycling are my hobbies that stays with me.

✓ Dancing, painting and bicycling are my hobbies that stay with me.

Subject 'hobbies' is plural, so the verb must be plural: 'stay' not 'stays'. This is a subject-verb agreement error (treated here as tense/verb form).

× Since my childhood, I was bike lover, always went with my friends to the nearby park and roamed around the city.

✓ Since my childhood, I was a bike lover; I always went with my friends to the nearby park and roamed around the city.

Missing article 'a' before 'bike lover'. Also two independent clauses need separation or a conjunction; add punctuation and 'I' before 'always' for clarity.

× For instance, one time I used to I went with my friends to the park and there.

✓ For instance, one time I went with my friends to the park and spent time there.

The phrase 'used to I went' is ungrammatical; use either 'used to go' (habit) or 'I went' (past event). The sentence also ends abruptly with 'and there'—add a verb phrase like 'spent time there' to complete the idea.

× Dancing, painting and cycling are the hobbies that I have since my childhood.

✓ Dancing, painting and cycling are the hobbies I have had since my childhood.

To indicate an action continuing from the past to present, use the present perfect 'have had' rather than simple present 'have'. Also 'the hobbies' is awkward; 'the' can be omitted but is acceptable; main correction is verb form.

× I was fond of cycling, always went with my friends to the nearby park and roamed around the city.

✓ I was fond of cycling; I always went with my friends to the nearby park and roamed around the city.

This sentence is mostly correct but needs a clearer clause separation. Use a semicolon or conjunction and repeat the subject 'I' for readability.

× To illustrate, it gives me a freedom of and sense of satisfaction when I feel pressure.

✓ For example, it gives me a sense of freedom and satisfaction when I feel stressed.

Word order and collocations incorrect: 'a freedom of' is wrong; correct phrase is 'a sense of freedom'. 'To illustrate' is better as 'for example' here, and 'feel pressure' is more natural as 'feel stressed'.

× No, because my father and my elder sister are more passionate about studies and they are impeccable in accounting field.

✓ No, because my father and my elder sister are more passionate about studying and they are excellent in the accounting field.

'Passionate about studies' is better as 'passionate about studying'. 'Impeccable' is misused; use 'excellent'. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'accounting field'.

× They always love the education stream whereas my mother is splendid in cooking and while I was an art lover and always wanted to do painting, cycling.

✓ They always prefer the academic stream, whereas my mother is excellent at cooking, and I have always loved art and wanted to do painting and cycling.

Multiple conjunction and cohesion issues: 'love the education stream' is awkward—use 'prefer the academic stream'. 'Splendid in cooking' should be 'excellent at cooking'. The clause about the speaker mixes tenses and conjunctions; use present perfect 'have always loved' and list activities in parallel: 'painting and cycling'.