爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking phrase. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “still now”).

示例: Yes. My main hobby is swimming, which I have done since childhood. For example, I swim three times a week at my school pool to relax and reduce stress.

建议: Remove hesitations and correct grammar. Give a clear topic sentence then one specific detail and an example. Replace filler words and fix verb choices (e.g., “inventing characters”).

示例: Yes. As a child I loved drawing and making my own storybooks. For instance, I used to design characters and illustrate short stories for my classmates.

建议: Be direct and avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Use correct forms ("baking" not "bakings") and link ideas with a connector. Keep it to two to three sentences max.

示例: Yes. Swimming has been a lifelong hobby, and I also enjoy baking. For example, I often bake cakes and cookies on weekends to relax and share with my family.

建议: Eliminate hesitations and grammatical errors. Give a clear statement then one specific supporting detail. Use correct verb forms and concise phrasing.

示例: Yes. I share a love of cooking with my mother because she is an excellent cook. For example, she taught me how to make traditional breakfasts, which we now cook together on weekends.

× Still now I often go to school swimming pool to relax and relieve my stress.

✓ Even now I often go to the school swimming pool to relax and relieve my stress.

Use of 'Still now' is unnatural for current habit; 'Even now' or 'Still' alone is correct. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'school swimming pool' because a specific pool is implied. This fixes present-tense habitual expression and article use.

× Yes, I remember when I was a little, I loved, uh, drawing and creating my own story books.

✓ Yes, I remember when I was little, I loved drawing and creating my own storybooks.

Use 'when I was little' (no article) for the phrase. 'Story books' should be one word 'storybooks' or 'story books' as a compound; removing the extra comma and filler 'uh' makes the sentence natural. The past tense 'loved' correctly matches childhood memories.

× I like to to make up and invest inventing characters.

✓ I like to make up and invent characters.

There is a duplication 'to to' and redundant verbs 'invest inventing'. The correct structure pairs the infinitive verbs: 'to make up' and 'to invent' or simply 'make up and invent'. This correction simplifies the sentence and fixes verb usage.

× Well, as I ordered they mentioned swimming is one of the hobbies that I had since I was a little and also I like bakings such as uh, cakes, brownies and cookies to unwind and share with my family.

✓ Well, as I said, swimming is one of the hobbies I have had since I was little, and I also like baking things such as cakes, brownies, and cookies to unwind and share with my family.

Original contains wrong phrase 'as I ordered they mentioned' which is unclear; 'as I said' is appropriate. Use present perfect 'have had' for a hobby that started in the past and continues. 'Bakings' is incorrect; use 'baking' or 'baked goods' and include 'things' or list directly. Remove filler 'uh' and add commas for clarity.

× I would just say cooking is one of the hobbies that, that I share with my mother because my mother was very good cook and she always prepare, uh, prepare very good breakfast every morning.

✓ I would say cooking is one of the hobbies I share with my mother because my mother was a very good cook and she always prepared very good breakfasts every morning.

Remove duplicated filler 'that, that' and simplify structure. Add indefinite article 'a' before 'very good cook'. Maintain past tense 'was' and 'prepared' if referring to past habitual actions; use plural 'breakfasts' for repeated events. Remove repetition 'prepare, uh, prepare'. This fixes article use, verb tense consistency, and plurality.