爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the hobby, then give specific details (how often, when you started, what you enjoy, and a brief goal). Use linking words (for example, since, so) and reduce fillers like 'um' and repeated words.

示例: I enjoy horse riding. I started when I began high school and now I ride twice a week to improve my technique. Because I love being outdoors and working with animals, I find riding relaxing and challenging. For example, I recently learned how to jump small fences and I want to train for a local competition next year.

建议: Be specific and avoid vague phrases. Give a clear topic sentence about a childhood hobby, then explain what you did and what you learned, using linking words like 'for instance' or 'because'. Remove fillers and correct grammar (e.g., 'I was in the volleyball team').

示例: Yes, I played team sports as a child, especially volleyball. I trained with my school's volleyball team three times a week, which improved my fitness and teamwork skills. Because I had to cooperate with teammates, I learned communication and discipline, which I still appreciate today.

建议: Answer directly and confidently. State the hobby clearly (caring for animals), then provide specific details (what you do, since when, examples like owning pets) and use linking words (for example, since, as a result). Avoid hesitations and redundant phrases.

示例: Yes, caring for animals has been a hobby since I was a child. I used to help feed and play with neighborhood animals, and now I have two cats that I look after daily. For example, I take care of their feeding schedule and grooming, which shows how long I've been interested in animals.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and then contrast with specific details. Use linking words (however, while) to show difference. Avoid repetition and vague words like 'stuff'. Mention an example of a family hobby and your hobby to make it concrete.

示例: No, my family and I have different hobbies. While my parents and sisters prefer watching team sports on TV, I prefer taking part in sports myself, such as horse riding and playing volleyball. However, we sometimes watch matches together, which is a shared interest.

× Not much, but I have one specific hobby that I really like and like and enjoying.

✓ Not much, but I have one specific hobby that I really like and enjoy.

The original mixes base-form and -ing incorrectly: 'like and enjoying' is ungrammatical. Parallel structure requires two verbs in the same form, so use 'like and enjoy' (both base form) to coordinate actions.

× It's horse bike riding.

✓ It's horseback riding.

'Horse bike riding' is not a standard English noun. The correct term for riding a horse is 'horseback riding.' Use the established compound noun rather than literal combination.

× I've been doing it since the start of the high school.

✓ I've been doing it since the start of high school.

'The high school' is unnecessary when speaking about the school level in general. Use 'high school' without 'the.' Also 'since the start of high school' is the idiomatic expression.

× It has been really, uh, it has been going well and I want to improve myself a lot more.

✓ It has been going really well, and I want to improve a lot more.

The original repeats 'it has been' and uses 'improve myself' awkwardly. Combine clauses for fluency: 'It has been going really well' (present perfect continuous/result) and 'I want to improve a lot more' (simple present for desire). Avoid reflexive 'myself' here; 'improve' is transitive without it.

× I had so much hobbies that I was really engaged and one of them was playing umm, A-Team sport while I I was in volleyball team.

✓ I had so many hobbies that I was really engaged, and one of them was playing a team sport while I was on the volleyball team.

'Much' should be 'many' for countable 'hobbies.' 'A-Team sport' is incorrect; use 'a team sport.' Also use 'on the volleyball team' and remove duplicated 'I.' These fix determiner and preposition use.

× It was really great, but it's taught me so things that I really, umm appreciate.

✓ It was really great, and it taught me many things that I really appreciate.

Tense and verb form errors: 'it's taught' mixes present contraction 'it's' with past meaning; use past 'it taught' to match 'was.' Also 'so things' is ungrammatical; use 'many things.' Keep tense consistent within the narrative.

× Umm there is a one hobby but I don't know if it says count as hobby or not.

✓ Umm there is one hobby, but I don't know if it counts as a hobby or not.

Use 'there is one hobby' (no article before 'one') and the verb should be 'counts' to agree with 'it' and express whether it qualifies. 'Says count' is incorrect phrasing.

× So since I was a child I was really into umm helping others and umm and now I have also 2 cats.

✓ Since I was a child I have really enjoyed helping others, and now I also have two cats.

Use present perfect 'have enjoyed' to express a continuing preference from childhood to present. 'Really into helping' is conversational but better as 'have really enjoyed helping others.' Write numbers as words in formal sentences: 'two cats.'

× No, because our interests are slightly different with my sisters and also with my parents.

✓ No, because our interests are slightly different from my sisters' and my parents'.

Use 'different from' to compare, and possessive form for family members: 'my sisters'' and 'my parents'' (or 'my sisters and parents'). 'Different with' is incorrect in this context.

× They they do not like sports, like actively doing sports.

✓ They do not like to play sports actively.

Avoid duplication 'they they.' Prefer 'do not like to play sports' or 'do not like playing sports.' 'Like actively doing sports' is awkward; 'play sports actively' is clearer.

× They just love watching team sports and stuff. But I really do like being into sports, so.

✓ They just love watching team sports, but I really like being involved in sports.

Replace informal 'and stuff' and trailing 'so.' Use 'being involved in sports' instead of 'being into sports' for better formality and clarity. Combine into one coherent sentence with 'but.'