走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify and correct grammar, be concise, and directly answer. Use a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and limit to 2–3 sentences. Mention when and why you walk with one supporting detail and a linking word.

示例: Not really. I don’t have time to walk during weekdays because of work, but I try to walk more on weekends to stay healthy. For example, I usually walk for 30–40 minutes on Saturday morning to get some exercise.

建议: Be natural and concise, avoid repetition (e.g., “mom mother”), and use linking words for coherence. Provide one specific example and correct past-tense phrasing. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I did. My mother often took me to the local park to play with other children, and those afternoons were some of my favorite memories because I enjoyed running around and making friends.

建议: Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., “feel refreshed,” “reduce stress”), and give a clear, logical reason with one specific example. Use linking words like “for example” properly and stay concise.

示例: People like walking in parks because the fresh air and greenery help them feel refreshed and reduce stress. For example, when I’m stressed from work I go for a short walk in a nearby park to clear my mind.

建议: Fix grammar (use ‘take’ not ‘work’), be more specific about the place, and give a reason concisely. Use a linking phrase like ‘because’ and limit to 2–3 sentences.

示例: I would like to take a long walk in a new city I’ve never visited because exploring unknown streets is a good way to discover local culture and hidden spots. If I had the chance, I’d spend a whole day walking around the old town.

建议: Use correct past tense and clearer phrasing (e.g., ‘It was my first attempt’). State the place and reason succinctly and give one specific detail about the walk. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

示例: I walked around the office area today. It was my first attempt to exercise during a weekday because I usually only exercise on weekends, so I took a 20-minute walk around the block during my lunch break.

× No, I don't think I work a lot because I don't have time to do exercise.

✓ No, I don't think I walk a lot because I don't have time to exercise.

The student used 'work' instead of the correct verb 'walk' for the question about walking (sentence structure/word choice). Also 'do exercise' is less natural than 'exercise'. Suggest using the verb that matches the context and prefer 'exercise' as a verb: 'walk' and 'exercise'.

× So I on the weekend I try to work as much as I can to keep my healthy life.

✓ So on the weekends I try to walk as much as I can to maintain a healthy life.

Word order is incorrect ('I on the weekend I') and 'work' is wrong for walking; 'weekends' is the usual plural, and 'maintain a healthy life' is more natural than 'keep my healthy life'. Suggest placing time expression at sentence start or after the subject and choosing correct verbs and plural form.

× My mom mother took me out of the house many times when I was young.

✓ My mother took me out of the house many times when I was young.

The student used redundant nouns 'mom mother'. Use one appropriate pronoun/noun. 'Mother' or 'mom' is sufficient. Remove duplication.

× So for example, she took me a park often to play with other kids.

✓ For example, she often took me to a park to play with other kids.

Incorrect or missing preposition 'to' and misplaced adverb 'often'. The correct order is 'she often took me to a park'. Place adverbs before the main verb and include required prepositions.

× It was my one of the favorite moment in my childhood.

✓ It was one of my favorite moments in my childhood.

Word order and article use are wrong: 'my one of the favorite moment' should be 'one of my favorite moments'. Use plural 'moments' and place 'one of my' before the noun.

× I think people would like to to exercise in the park because this makes us very fresh and also reduce our stress.

✓ I think people like to exercise in the park because it makes us feel refreshed and also reduces our stress.

Redundant 'would' and duplicate 'to' are incorrect. Use simple present 'like to exercise' for general truths. 'This makes us very fresh' is unnatural; use 'it makes us feel refreshed'. Subject-verb agreement: 'reduces' for singular subject 'it'.

× For example, when I had a lot of stress, I rather to work.

✓ For example, when I am very stressed, I prefer to work.

'Rather to' is incorrect. Use 'prefer to' or 'would rather' (which requires base verb without 'to'). Tense should match present habitual feeling: 'when I am very stressed, I prefer to work'.

× I'd like to work a long walk to the place where I don't know because it's a good opportunity to explore that place where I'm not familiar with.

✓ I'd like to take a long walk to a place I don't know because it's a good opportunity to explore somewhere I'm not familiar with.

Incorrect verbs ('work a long walk'), wrong article use, and awkward clause endings ('where I'm not familiar with' is redundant). Use 'take a long walk to a place I don't know' and avoid ending with unnecessary prepositions; 'somewhere I'm not familiar with' or 'that I'm not familiar with' is acceptable.

× Actually today I walked around the office where I work.

✓ Actually, today I walked around the office where I work.

Add comma after 'Actually' for clarity. The sentence tense is acceptable. No major grammatical error; minor punctuation improvement.

× It was my first attentive to do more exercise during the weekdays because I haven't do exercise as much as weekend.

✓ It was my first attempt to do more exercise during the weekdays because I haven't been exercising as much as on weekends.

'First attentive' is wrong word choice; use 'first attempt'. 'Haven't do' is incorrect auxiliary/infinitive use; use present perfect continuous 'haven't been exercising' or present perfect 'haven't exercised'. Also add plural 'weekends' and include preposition 'on' before 'weekends'. Suggest using correct verb forms with auxiliaries and proper nouns for time expressions.