走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and natural: begin with a clear topic sentence saying whether you walk a lot, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid awkward phrases and verb errors (e.g., use “walking” not “working,” “way” not “ways”). Keep to under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot. For example, I walk about ten minutes from my dormitory to my classroom every day, and I often use walking as my main way of getting around. It helps me clear my mind before classes.

建议: Start with a clear statement about your childhood habit, then give specific, coherent details. Use correct verb forms and simple vocabulary rather than unclear phrases. Use linking words (for example, and, because) to connect ideas and keep sentences short.

示例: Yes, I often went outside to walk when I was a child. For example, I spent hours in the grass watching small animals like ants and exploring the neighborhood, because I loved being outdoors and curious about nature.

建议: Answer directly and organize reasons clearly. Use correct collocations (e.g., “relax,” “fresh air,” “regular exercise”) and linking phrases (“for example,” “also,” “because”) to present distinct reasons for different age groups. Avoid vague phrases like “child stay afterwards.”

示例: People like to walk in parks for two main reasons. First, older people enjoy the fresh air and a quiet place to relax. Second, young people use parks for regular exercise and to relieve stress after a busy day.

建议: Give a clear location and reason. Use conditional grammar correctly (“If I had the chance, I would...”) and be specific about what you would do and why. Keep sentences concise and logical with linking words like “because” or “so that.”

示例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along a quiet seaside. I would enjoy the peaceful atmosphere because it would give me time to think about life, relax away from work and study, and inspire my imagination.

建议: Answer in past tense with a clear subject and time expression. Say where you went, who you went with, and give one specific detail about the walk. Avoid filler words and grammar mistakes (use ‘went’ not ‘go’ and correct plural/singular forms).

示例: The last time I went for a walk was with a university friend who had come back to visit. We walked around the campus and talked about old memories, which was nice and nostalgic.

× Of course, working can be considered as the universal gesture in my daily life.

✓ Of course, walking can be considered the usual gesture in my daily life.

The student used 'working' and 'universal' incorrectly. The question asks about walking, so use 'walking' (correct word). 'Universal' is inappropriate; 'usual' or 'common' fits better. Also remove unnecessary 'as' after 'considered'. Suggestion: choose vocabulary that matches the topic and simplify the structure ('considered the usual').

× Every time I take about 10 minutes from our dormitory to our classroom every day, and I usually use this convenient ways to be my transportation.

✓ It takes me about 10 minutes to walk from my dormitory to my classroom every day, and I usually use this convenient route for transportation.

Errors: wrong verb phrase 'I take about 10 minutes from... to' should be 'It takes me about 10 minutes to walk from... to' (use impersonal 'it takes' or 'I take ... to walk'). 'Our' changed to 'my' for consistency. 'Ways' (plural) is incorrect; use 'route' or 'way' and 'for transportation' is better than 'to be my transportation'. Suggestion: use 'It takes me' structure and singular nouns for a specific route.

× When I was a child I usually take some hand away and a straight or an grass or other outdoor activities.

✓ When I was a child I usually took walks and did outdoor activities such as hiking or playing on the grass.

The student used present tense 'take' instead of past 'took' because the time reference is 'when I was a child'. The phrase 'take some hand away and a straight' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'took walks' and examples like 'hiking' or 'playing on the grass'. Suggestion: use past tense verbs for past time markers and provide clear activity nouns.

× I usually spend much time without get the accurate time perception to watch some animals like ants.

✓ I usually spent a lot of time watching small animals like ants and lost track of time.

Problems: mixing present 'usually spend' with past context; incorrect phrase 'without get the accurate time perception'. Correct structure: 'spent a lot of time' (past), 'watching' as -ing form after 'spend time', and idiom 'lost track of time'. Suggestion: use 'spend time' + -ing and common idioms for time perception.

× So the elderly people, they get relaxation to enjoy their parking time because they can get the fresh air.

✓ Elderly people relax and enjoy their park time because they can get fresh air.

Redundant pronoun 'they' after the noun phrase is unnecessary. 'Parking time' is incorrect; should be 'park time' or 'time in the park'. 'Get relaxation' is unnatural; use 'relax' or 'find relaxation'. Suggestion: avoid redundancy and choose correct noun forms.

× And for the young people, maybe they can get regular exercise up to a busy and child stay afterwards.

✓ For young people, they can get regular exercise, which helps them stay active despite a busy schedule and school responsibilities.

Phrase 'up to a busy and child stay afterwards' is ungrammatical. Replace with clear explanation: 'helps them stay active despite a busy schedule and school responsibilities'. 'Get regular exercise' is acceptable; improve cohesion by explaining benefit. Suggestion: express consequences clearly and use nouns like 'schedule' and 'responsibilities'.

× It's possible for me to get a long walk if I had a chance, because if I had a chance to take a long time to just be with myself, I can talk to myself, some else beside the working and study information and get the literature imagination.

✓ I could take a long walk if I had the chance because it would give me time to be alone, reflect on things other than work and study, and let my imagination wander.

Mixed conditional and modal errors: 'It's possible for me to get a long walk if I had a chance' mixes present and past conditional. Use 'could' with 'if I had the chance' or conditional 'would'. Also 'some else beside the working and study information' is unclear; rephrase as 'reflect on things other than work and study' and 'literature imagination' becomes 'let my imagination wander'. Suggestion: keep conditional structure consistent and choose clear phrases for introspection.

× And latest time I go with my graduated friends when he come back to my university around the whole university we uh has previous memory.

✓ Most recently I went for a walk with my college friend when he came back to the university; we walked around the campus and remembered old times.

Errors: 'latest time I go' should be past 'Most recently I went'. 'Graduated friends' -> 'my college friend' or 'a friend who graduated'. Pronoun agreement 'he come' -> 'he came'. 'We uh has previous memory' should be 'we remembered old times' or 'we recalled previous memories'. Suggestion: use past tense consistently for recent past events and simplify sentences for clarity.