走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the sentence more natural and grammatically correct. Keep it concise: give a direct topic sentence, then one short supporting detail using linking words. Correct number phrasing and verb forms.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot. In fact, I aim to walk 10,000 steps every day because it helps me stay fit and clear my mind.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and reduce repetition. Use linking words to organize details (for example, “often” or “usually”), and correct small grammar issues (e.g. “on a daily basis”). Be specific about activities or memories.

示例: Yes, I often went outside as a child. For example, my friends and I would usually walk, run, and play games in the streets every day, which kept us very active.

建议: Avoid tense inconsistency and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise supporting reasons connected by linking words (for example, “because” and “therefore”). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “greenery,” “wildlife”) and limit to three sentences maximum.

示例: People like walking in parks because the air is fresher and they can enjoy greenery and wildlife. As a result, walking there helps reduce stress and makes them feel more relaxed.

建议: Good content and structure; tighten sentences and avoid repetition (e.g., “very” repeated). Use one linking word to connect reasons and be slightly more specific about what you would do or see.

示例: I'd like to walk in Central Park in New York City because its trees and wildlife create a calm atmosphere, and I could stroll along the trails to clear my mind.

建议: Make the answer direct and concise. Use past tense consistently and remove filler words like “umm.” Give specific details (time, distance) in a clearer format and use linking words to connect points (for example, “so” or “therefore”).

示例: I recently walked in the garden behind our house. One lap is two kilometres, so I usually do two or three laps, which takes me about an hour.

× Yes, I like to walk a lot. I have a goal that said daily to walk 10 thousands steps.

✓ Yes, I like to walk a lot. I have a goal to walk 10 thousand steps every day.

The sentence mixes incorrect tense and quantifier forms. 'that said daily to walk' is ungrammatical; use an infinitive phrase 'to walk' and place 'every day' after it. '10 thousands' is incorrect pluralization and number form; use '10 thousand' (no plural s after thousand when used with a number). Improve by saying 'I have a goal to walk 10 thousand steps every day.'

× Yes, when I was a child I was very active, especially with friends and neighbors we like.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I was very active, especially with friends and neighbors I liked.

The clause 'we like' is present tense and unclear. The speaker refers to past habits, so use past tense 'liked.' Also pronoun placement should reference the speaker: 'friends and neighbors I liked.'

× We liked to go out a lot, walking, running, playing in the streets.

✓ We liked to go out a lot, walking, running, and playing in the streets.

The original was missing a coordinating conjunction in a list. For clarity and correct parallel structure, include 'and' before the final item. The participles are fine but need proper list punctuation/conjunction.

× That was our thing in a daily basis.

✓ That was our thing on a daily basis.

The common expression is 'on a daily basis,' not 'in a daily basis.' Use the preposition 'on.' This fixes idiomatic adverbial phrase usage.

× People liked walk in parks because the air is fresher, they are surrounded with greeneries, maybe butterfly butterflies and other animals appear which makes it the scene really mesmerizing and it helps them relax.

✓ People like to walk in parks because the air is fresher, they are surrounded by greenery, maybe butterflies and other animals appear, which makes the scene really mesmerizing and helps them relax.

Multiple issues: tense should be present 'like' for a general statement, and the verb pattern is 'like to walk' or 'like walking.' Use 'surrounded by' not 'surrounded with.' 'Greeneries' is incorrect; use 'greenery' (uncountable). 'butterfly butterflies' is redundant; use 'butterflies.' Remove extra 'it' before 'helps' and simplify to 'helps them relax.' Also add commas for clarity.

× By surrounding yourself around nature, it helps you relax your mind and body and soul.

✓ By surrounding yourself with nature, it helps you relax your mind, body, and soul.

Do not use 'surrounding yourself around'; use 'surrounding yourself with.' Also add commas in the list 'mind, body, and soul.' The clause 'it helps you' is acceptable, but could be more concise: 'Surrounding yourself with nature helps relax your mind, body, and soul.'

× I'd like to take a long walk in Central Park, New York City. I like to be surrounded by the trees and wildlife there, and it's a very open space and it's very calm, so it will be a good way to relax my mind and my body.

✓ I'd like to take a long walk in Central Park, New York City. I like to be surrounded by trees and wildlife there; it's a very open and calm space, so it would be a good way to relax my mind and body.

Use 'surrounded by trees' (no definite article needed) and combine adjectives 'open and calm space.' 'It will be' is changed to 'it would be' to match the conditional 'I'd like' and hypothetical tone. Also remove redundant 'my' before 'body' for smoother phrasing.

× I did have a walk around the garden that's located behind our home.

✓ I took a walk around the garden that's located behind our home.

In natural past narration use 'I took a walk' or simply 'I went for a walk.' 'Did have a walk' is awkward; use the simple past 'took.' The rest is fine.

× It's 2 kilometers long for one lap, so umm, I'd like to go for two laps or three even that I completed that in about an hour or something.

✓ One lap is 2 kilometers long, so I like to do two or three laps; I completed that in about an hour or so.

Reorder for clarity: 'One lap is 2 kilometers long.' Use 'do two or three laps' rather than 'go for.' Remove filler 'umm' and fix tense/phrasing: 'I'd like' vs past 'I completed'—speaker seems to describe a past completion, so 'I completed that in about an hour or so' is appropriate. 'Or something' is informal; 'or so' is better.