走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer directly and accurately. Use correct verb forms and clear vocabulary. Say whether you walk a lot, why, and give one brief supporting detail. Keep it natural and under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot because it keeps me healthy. For example, I walk for about 30 minutes every morning to stay fit and clear my mind.

建议: Give a concise, structured answer: state frequency, who you went with, and a specific detail. Use past tense and correct word order. Use linking words like 'often' and 'with'.

示例: Yes, I often went for walks when I was a child with my father. We usually visited a nearby park where we ran and played together.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons linked logically. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'enjoy nature', 'peaceful atmosphere') and correct grammar. Keep it concise.

示例: People like walking in parks because they can enjoy nature and fresh air. Also, parks offer a peaceful atmosphere where they can relax without being disturbed.

建议: Answer directly with the place and one reason. Use conditional tense correctly and provide a specific detail (distance or attraction) clearly. Keep it within a few sentences and use linking words like 'because'.

示例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk to Mata Vaishno Devi because it is a famous pilgrimage site with scenic mountain trails. The walk is about 16 kilometres and would be a meaningful challenge.

建议: Use past simple and be concise. Start with a clear topic sentence saying where and when, then give one or two specific details (purpose, distance, scenery). Avoid repetition and grammar errors.

示例: Last year I walked from Dharamsala to Tirkund, a famous mountain viewpoint. It was about 25 kilometres and offered spectacular views of the surrounding peaks.

× Yes, I love working because it's keep me healthy.

✓ Yes, I love walking because it keeps me healthy.

The student used 'working' but the context asks about walking; choose the correct gerund 'walking'. Also 'it's keep' is incorrect: after 'it' + verb requires third-person singular present 'keeps'. Suggestion: use 'walking' and 'keeps' to match subject-verb agreement and meaning.

× Yes, when I was child my father, me and my father both were visit new visit park which is don't throw away from my home for running.

✓ Yes, when I was a child my father, my mother and I both used to visit a nearby park for running.

Multiple errors: missing article 'a' before 'child' (article error, but treated here as part of sentence structure), incorrect pronoun order and form 'me and my father' should be 'my father and I'. Repetition 'my father' fixed to 'my mother' if intended, otherwise keep 'my father and I'. 'Were visit' is wrong; use 'used to visit' or 'visited' for habitual past. 'new visit park' unclear; 'a nearby park' fits meaning. 'which is don't throw away from my home' is ungrammatical; use 'near my home' or 'not far from my home'. Suggestion: use 'when I was a child' and 'my father and I used to visit a nearby park' to correct tense, pronouns, and prepositions.

× I think they like to. They like the nature and they like the environment where they work. In part, they are nobody can disturb you while walking.

✓ I think they do. They like nature and the environment where they walk. In part, nobody can disturb you while walking.

'They like to' is incomplete; use 'they do' to echo liking. 'the nature' should be 'nature' (no article). 'where they work' is wrong contextually; use 'where they walk'. 'In part, they are nobody can disturb you' is ungrammatical pronoun and structure; correct to 'In part, nobody can disturb you' or 'In part, they are not disturbed'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary articles and fix pronouns and verb choices.

× Well, in future if I got a chance then I will definitely visit to Mata Vaishno Devi. The statue was around 16 kilometer.

✓ Well, in the future if I get a chance I will definitely visit Mata Vaishno Devi. The shrine is about 16 kilometers away.

Use 'in the future' and conditional 'if I get a chance' (present simple for real future condition) rather than 'got'. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'visit'. 'The statue was' is wrong tense and word choice: likely 'shrine' or 'temple' and present tense 'is about 16 kilometers away' or 'is around 16 kilometers away'. Also plural 'kilometers'. Suggestion: use correct conditional form, remove extra preposition, and correct noun and distance phrasing.

× Well, last year I did a walk from Dharamsala to Tirkund, which is the famous point of view point for mountains, which was around 25 kilometers.

✓ Well, last year I walked from Dharamsala to Tirkund, which is a famous viewpoint for the mountains and is about 25 kilometers long.

'Did a walk' is awkward; use simple past 'walked'. 'point of view point' is redundant; use 'viewpoint'. 'which was around 25 kilometers' should describe the route or distance: 'is about 25 kilometers long' or 'which was about 25 kilometers'. Maintain past reference: 'was about 25 kilometers long' is also acceptable. Suggestion: use natural verb 'walked', correct collocation 'viewpoint', and clarify distance phrasing.