走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatically clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler, and provide one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, "so" or "because") correctly.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot. I try to walk every day for about 30–45 minutes because I’m in my middle adulthood and want to stay healthy, so walking helps my fitness and reduces stress.

建议: Improve sentence structure and finish your ideas. Give a clear topic sentence then add a specific example. Avoid repeating phrases and use linking words (e.g., "and", "for example").

示例: Yes, I did. I often walked outside as a child because I loved playing with friends; for example, we used to walk along a long path near our houses and enjoy the scenery while chatting and exploring.

建议: Be accurate and relevant — avoid unclear phrases. Give a concise main reason, then add two clear supporting points with proper vocabulary. Remove irrelevant or confusing words (e.g., "interest fee", "outdoor hot DVDs").

示例: People like walking in parks because it’s inexpensive and convenient. For example, you don’t need a membership or expensive equipment, and parks offer fresh air and pleasant scenery that make walking enjoyable.

建议: Remove fillers and correct grammar. Use a clear conditional sentence, name the place precisely, and give a specific reason with linking words (e.g., "because", "so").

示例: If I had the chance, I would walk up a nearby hill because I enjoy hiking; it helps me relax and reduce stress while offering nice views.

建议: Improve tense accuracy and sentence flow. Start with a clear past/simple present statement, use linking words like "so" or "and", and be specific about frequency and benefits.

示例: In the past few months I usually walk in the park with my child. We do this several times a week to talk and strengthen our bond, and it also boosts both of our physical health.

× Absolutely yes. I really I walk a lot nowadays especially I am already on middle adulthood now so I have to take care of myself and being part of that is working everyday at least.

✓ Absolutely, yes. I really walk a lot nowadays, especially because I am in middle adulthood, so I have to take care of myself, and part of that is exercising every day at least.

Present tense and chronology need correction: use simple present 'walk' without extra 'I', use 'am in middle adulthood' (state), and 'part of that is exercising' uses a noun (gerund) after 'is'. 'Everyday' (adjective) should be 'every day' (adverbial phrase). Also add linking words ('because') and punctuation to improve clarity.

× Yes I did. I often walk outside when I was a child I really love playing outside with my friends and neighbors and one of those are walking through a long path while enjoying the scenery and we while walking we love to.

✓ Yes, I did. I often walked outside when I was a child. I really loved playing outside with my friends and neighbors, and one of those activities was walking along a long path while enjoying the scenery, which we loved to do.

Mix of tenses: talking about childhood requires past tense ('walked', 'loved'). 'One of those are' should agree in number with 'one' so use 'was'. Use 'activities' as a noun. Remove redundant fragments and complete the clause ('which we loved to do').

× It is because going to the park is more cheaper than going to any outdoor activities.

✓ It is because going to the park is cheaper than taking part in other outdoor activities.

Use of comparative 'more cheaper' is incorrect; use either 'cheaper' or 'more expensive'. Also 'going to any outdoor activities' is awkward; use 'taking part in other outdoor activities' for clarity and correct collocation.

× You don't have to pay for membership or you don't have to pay for any interest fee and outdoor hot DVDs when you go to the park.

✓ You don't have to pay for a membership, entrance fees, or other charges when you go to the park.

Pronoun repetition and noun choices are wrong: 'interest fee' and 'outdoor hot DVDs' are incorrect collocations. Use 'a membership' and 'entrance fees' or 'other charges'. Combine items in a parallel list rather than repeating 'you don't have to pay'.

× It's easier to go there without worrying your budget.

✓ It's easier to go there without worrying about your budget.

Verb 'worry' needs the preposition 'about' when referring to the object of worry. Incorrect preposition use changed to 'about'.

× If I will have a chance, I would rather walk to a uh, uh, a hill.

✓ If I had the chance, I would rather walk to a hill.

First conditional form is incorrect: for hypothetical present/future situations use the past simple in the if-clause ('If I had the chance') with 'would' in the main clause. Remove filler sounds for clarity.

× It is because I love to go hiking, especially during auto, uh, it's uh, kind of activities to me to lower my, uh, stress and.

✓ It is because I love hiking; especially outdoors, it is an activity that helps lower my stress.

Sentence contains fillers and unclear 'during auto'. Use 'outdoors' or 'autumn' if intended; restructure to 'it is an activity that helps lower my stress'. Use 'hiking' (gerund) and avoid trailing 'and'.

× This first few months I usually walk at the park with my child so that we have a a deeper bond and we will have a time to talk to each other and in the other hand it will also boost our physical health.

✓ For the first few months, I usually walk in the park with my child so that we can deepen our bond and have time to talk to each other; on the other hand, it also boosts our physical health.

Tense and article errors: 'This first few months' should be 'For the first few months'. Use 'in the park' common collocation. Use 'we can deepen' (modal for ability/possibility) and 'have time' without 'a'. 'On the other hand' is correct idiom. Match present habitual 'usually' with simple present 'boosts' and fix double 'a a'.