走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise, use a clear topic sentence and limit repetition. Add one or two specific benefits and a linking word to organize ideas. Aim for 2–4 sentences and correct grammar (e.g., avoid double words and incorrect phrasing).

示例: Yes, I walk almost every day as part of my routine. It helps me stay energetic and improves my concentration, so I can focus better at work.

建议: Use direct language and avoid fillers (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence about childhood walking, give one specific example and finish the thought. Replace unclear words like “vogue” with ‘walking’.

示例: Yes, I used to walk a lot as a child. For example, I entered a school walking competition and won first prize because my mother always encouraged me to exercise.

建议: Start with a clear main idea, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, and). Avoid repetition and complete the final point. Use correct plural and articles.

示例: Many people prefer walking in parks because they can enjoy fresh air and greenery. In addition, parks provide a pleasant, social atmosphere where people can meet friends or relax.

建议: Give a direct answer then two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid repeated phrases and finish your sentence. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘mountain hikes’ → ‘the mountains’).

示例: I would love to take a long walk in the mountains because I enjoy the views and fresh air. Also, hiking would boost my stamina and help me relieve stress.

建议: Answer directly with a clear past-time sentence, include one reason why and finish your idea. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., 'a park', 'stressful job').

示例: Two days ago I went for a walk in a park with my husband. Because my job as a dispatcher is stressful, walking together helps me relax and spend quality time with him.

× Yes, I often walk even it becomes my daily routine habit because with the help of it I can do so many things without any without any fail even during the whole day I feel rehabilitated and optimistic with the help of it it even it is fruitful for me For many ways I can easily concentrate on my work.

✓ Yes, I often walk; it has become my daily routine because it helps me do many things without fail. During the whole day I feel refreshed and optimistic, and it helps me concentrate on my work.

The original sentence repeatedly used awkward phrases like 'with the help of it' and incorrect forms such as 'becomes my daily routine habit.' Use of gerunds/verb+ing was not the main issue here, but the sentence required idiomatic continuous sense and correct verb forms. Replaced redundant phrases and used appropriate verbs and noun forms ('has become,' 'helps me do,' 'refreshed'). Suggestion: simplify complex ideas into shorter clauses and use correct verb constructs (e.g., 'helps me' rather than 'with the help of it').

× Uh, yes, uh, I love vogue since my childhood phase because I vividly reminisce that when I was a child, when I was in a school, uh, I participated in a walk competition. Even I got first prize in it, uh, because my mother always taught me, uh, benefits of vogue. So, uh, even she tried a lot to.

✓ Uh, yes. I have loved walking since my childhood because I vividly remember that when I was at school I participated in a walking competition. I even won first prize because my mother always taught me the benefits of walking, and she tried hard to encourage me.

The original mixed present and past incorrectly: 'I love vogue since my childhood' should use present perfect ('have loved') with 'since.' 'Reminisce' was misused; use 'remember.' 'Vogue' is incorrect word choice; 'walking' fits context. Also 'I got first prize' is acceptable but 'I even won first prize' is more natural. Suggestion: use present perfect for actions from past continuing to present and use correct vocabulary ('walking').

× Honestly speaking, different peoples have different taste and preferences. Some people prefer to walk in parks instead of sidewalks because they, uh, because it's fruitful for them for many ways. Like they can enjoy greenery, environment and, uh, they can, uh, feel fresh air from there. So even they can get a chance to meet with each other so they can make.

✓ Honestly, different people have different tastes and preferences. Some prefer to walk in parks rather than on sidewalks because it is beneficial in many ways. They can enjoy the greenery and fresh air, and they also have a chance to meet and socialize with each other.

Errors: 'peoples' should be 'people' (plural noun), 'taste' should be 'tastes,' and 'fruitful for them for many ways' is unidiomatic—use 'beneficial in many ways.' 'Environment' was awkward; 'the greenery' or 'the surroundings' is better. The final clause was incomplete; completed as 'meet and socialize.' Suggestion: use correct plural nouns and noun-adjective agreement and prefer idiomatic phrases ('beneficial in many ways').

× I would like to take a long walk when I get a chance in mountain hikes because I love mountains views and I love hiking as well. Because it's fruitful for me for many ways because with the help of it I can boost my stamina even it it it is beneficial for me to overcome stress and I can.

✓ I would like to take a long walk in the mountains if I had the chance because I love mountain views and I enjoy hiking. It is beneficial in many ways: it boosts my stamina and helps me relieve stress.

Problems: tense and conditional mix—question asks hypothetical so use conditional 'would' with 'if I had the chance' or keep 'would like' and use 'in the mountains.' 'Mountains views' should be 'mountain views' or 'views of the mountains.' Repeated 'because' and 'it it it' were redundant. 'Overcome stress' is better phrased as 'relieve stress.' Suggestion: streamline sentences, correct noun phrases, and use appropriate conditional/tense forms for hypothetical situations.

× I realized that, uh, two days ago I went for a walk with my husband in park because I enjoyed a lot. Right now I'm working as a dispatcher. It is a it, it is a stressing job. Everyone's know that. So whenever I get a chance, I would like, I would like to go for a walk with my husband. It's the best way to spend our my.

✓ Two days ago I went for a walk with my husband in the park and enjoyed it a lot. Right now I am working as a dispatcher; it is a stressful job, as everyone knows. So whenever I get a chance, I like to go for a walk with my husband. It's the best way to spend time together.

Errors: unnecessary 'I realized that' is unnatural here; use simple past 'Two days ago I went.' 'In park' needs definite article 'the park.' 'Stressing' is wrong adjective; use 'stressful.' 'Everyone's know that' is grammatically incorrect; use 'as everyone knows.' Final phrase 'spend our my' was incomplete—corrected to 'spend time together.' Suggestion: use correct past tense forms, include necessary articles, choose correct adjectives ('stressful'), and complete sentence ideas.