走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the sentence grammatically correct, reduce fillers ("umm"), and be more concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a brief reason and a specific detail. Use natural phrasing (e.g., "I used not to like exercise" → "I didn't use to like exercising").

示例: I didn't use to like exercising, but now I try to walk about 7,500 steps a day to boost my metabolism. This small daily routine helps me feel more energetic and maintain my weight.

建议: Use past tense consistently and add a brief supporting detail to enrich the answer. Replace "go" with "went" and add linking words like "because" or "so" to explain why or what you enjoyed.

示例: Yes, I often went for walks with my family every evening because we enjoyed spending time together. These walks were a chance to chat and relax after dinner.

建议: Organize the answer into one clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons using linking words. Remove fillers, correct grammar ("fresh air" not "a fresh air"), and avoid sentence fragments.

示例: I think people like walking in parks because the fresh air and beautiful scenery help them relax. Additionally, parks offer a peaceful atmosphere where visitors can escape noise and enjoy nature.

建议: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and give one or two specific reasons. Remove fillers and unclear phrases ("city run carved" and "the vibrant of the cities"). Use correct vocabulary like "vibrancy" or "vibrant life" and finish the sentence coherently.

示例: I would like to take a long walk in a big city because I could join a city running event and see the vibrant street life. Walking through downtown would let me admire architecture, busy markets, and public art.

建议: Use natural past tense phrasing and correct prepositions ("in Australia" not "at the Australia"). Be specific and concise: name the place, describe one or two features using correct grammar and linking words.

示例: I recently went for a walk in the Blue Mountains National Park in Australia. The area is full of eucalyptus trees and I saw several native animals, which made the hike very memorable.

× I used to be the people that don't like to exercise, but currently I try to umm, walk 7500 steps a day in order to start umm, my metabolism system.

✓ I used to be one of the people who didn't like to exercise, but currently I try to walk 7,500 steps a day to kick-start my metabolism.

Pronoun and noun phrase error: 'the people that' should be 'one of the people who' to refer to a member of a group. Tense consistency: 'don't like' must match 'used to' past habit, so use past 'didn't like'. Word choice and style: 'in order to start my metabolism system' is awkward; use 'to kick-start my metabolism'. Also format numbers and remove filler words for clarity.

× Yes, I often go outside to walk with my family every evening.

✓ Yes, I often went outside to walk with my family every evening.

Tense consistency: The examiner asked about childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense. Change 'go' to 'went' to match the time frame of the question.

× I believe it's because of a fresh air and very beautiful landscape and have a chance to umm, experience. A peaceful atmosphere.

✓ I believe it's because of the fresh air, the very beautiful landscape, and the chance to experience a peaceful atmosphere.

Article and noun phrase use: 'a fresh air' is incorrect; use 'the fresh air' or just 'fresh air'. Sentence fragmentation: original is fragmented and missing verbs for some parts; combine into one coherent sentence. Use parallel structure for the list: 'the fresh air, the very beautiful landscape, and the chance to experience a peaceful atmosphere.'

× Umm, I would like to take a long walk in the city because I have a chance to do a city run with the city run carved and it's very impressive because we can see the vibrant of the cities and.

✓ I would like to take a long walk in the city because I might be able to join a city run, and it's impressive because we can see the vibrancy of the city.

Pronoun and word choice errors: 'have a chance to do a city run with the city run carved' is unclear and ungrammatical; use 'join a city run'. 'The vibrant of the cities' is incorrect; use the noun 'vibrancy' and match singular/plural: 'the city' or 'cities'. Remove trailing 'and' and unnecessary fillers. Maintain conditional phrasing 'would like' with 'might' or 'be able to' to show possibility.

× I went to go for a walk at Blue Mountain which is the National Park at the Australia. This mountain is the eucalyptus trees with a lot of animals.

✓ I went for a walk at Blue Mountain, which is a national park in Australia. This mountain has eucalyptus trees and many animals.

'There be' and related structure errors: 'which is the National Park at the Australia' misuses articles and prepositions; use 'a national park in Australia'. Verb and noun usage: 'This mountain is the eucalyptus trees' is incorrect; use 'has eucalyptus trees'. Use 'many animals' instead of 'a lot of animals' for more formal accuracy. Also remove unnecessary 'go' after 'went'.