走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 응답을 더 자연스럽게 다듬고 중복을 제거하세요. 주제 문장으로 바로 답한 다음, 이유와 구체적 예시로 확장하세요. 연결어(especially, for example)를 사용해 논리를 매끄럽게 하고, 어색한 표현(‘go to somewhere’, 중복된 ‘when I walk’)을 교정하세요. 문장은 2~4개로 유지하세요.

示例: Yes, I walk quite often. I usually choose walking instead of driving or cycling for short trips because it’s convenient and good exercise. For example, I walk to nearby shops or the bus stop, and I enjoy observing trees and birds along the way.

建议: 문법과 어순을 바로잡고 더 구체적인 세부정보를 추가하세요. 반복과 말더듬(‘That's thing’, ‘I spend time, I spend much time’)을 제거하고, 과거 습관을 설명할 때는 과거형과 빈도 표현(e.g., often, frequently)을 사용하세요. 연결어(so, because)를 이용해 이유를 명확히 하세요.

示例: Yes, I did. I often went for walks as a child because my father loved mountain climbing, so our family frequently spent weekends hiking together. Those outings helped me appreciate nature from a young age.

建议: 답변이 모호하고 반복적입니다. ‘freshness’ 대신 더 자연스러운 표현(e.g., fresh air, relaxation)을 사용하고 이유를 2개 정도 구체적으로 제시하세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 넣어 설명을 흐름 있게 만드세요. 문장 수는 2~3개로 유지하세요.

示例: People like walking in parks because they can get fresh air and relax. For example, many office workers take a short walk after lunch to clear their minds and reduce stress, which helps them feel more refreshed.

建议: 중복 표현을 줄이고 더 구체적인 장소 묘사와 이유를 추가하세요. 사진 촬영에 대해 구체적으로 언급하거나 기대하는 활동을 한두 가지로 정리하세요. 자연스러운 연결어(so, because)를 사용하세요.

示例: I would like to take a long walk in a beautiful botanical garden because I love seeing different kinds of flowers and photographing them. I’d spend time strolling slowly, composing photos, and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

建议: 중복(‘campus campus’, ‘Whenever have whenever I have time’)과 문법 오류를 고치세요. 과거형 사용은 적절하지만 문장을 간결히 하고 구체적인 묘사(예: trees, lake, paths)를 추가해 답을 풍부하게 하세요.

示例: I recently went for a walk around my school campus. The campus is known for its beautiful scenery, with tree-lined paths and a small pond, so I often stroll there whenever I have free time.

× Yes I do. Instead of using a bicycle or my car, I usually walk when I go to somewhere umm, within short distance. And I love seeing nature when I walk when I walk.

✓ Yes, I do. Instead of using a bicycle or my car, I usually walk when I go somewhere within a short distance. And I love seeing nature when I walk.

'somewhere'와 'go to somewhere' 중에서 'go somewhere'가 자연스럽습니다. 'within short distance'는 관사와 형용사 순서가 필요하므로 'within a short distance'로 수정해야 합니다. 반복된 'when I walk when I walk'은 중복이므로 하나만 남깁니다. Suggestion: Use 'go somewhere' instead of 'go to somewhere', add the article 'a' before 'short distance', and remove repeated phrases.

× Yes, I did That's thing. Uh, thanks to my father, I spend time, I spend much time walking outside because my father love climbing a mountain with, with family.

✓ Yes, I did. That's right. Thanks to my father, I spent a lot of time walking outside because my father loved climbing mountains with the family.

과거 상황을 말하므로 동사를 과거형으로 바꿔야 합니다: 'spend'→'spent', 'love'→'loved'. 'That's thing'은 의미상 'That's right'로 고쳐야 합니다. 'a lot of time'가 자연스러운 표현이며 'climbing a mountain with family'는 관사와 정관사 사용으로 'climbing mountains with the family' 또는 'climbing a mountain with my family'로 고칠 수 있습니다. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs for past situations, correct awkward phrasing and include appropriate articles.

× I think people can gain freshness, uh, in parts, umm, I think people, uh, walks in the lunchtime after eating lunch. I think, umm, that time gives people freshness.

✓ I think people can feel refreshed in parks. I think people walk there at lunchtime after eating. I think that time makes people feel refreshed.

'in parts'는 철자 및 단어 선택 오류이며 'parks'가 맞습니다. 'walks'은 주어가 복수 'people'이므로 동사 원형 'walk'를 사용해야 합니다(주어-동사 일치). 'in the lunchtime'는 부적절한 전치사와 관사 사용으로 'at lunchtime'가 흔한 표현입니다. 'gain freshness'는 어색하므로 'feel refreshed'로 자연스럽게 바꿨습니다. Suggestion: Use correct nouns ('parks'), ensure subject-verb agreement, and use correct prepositions ('at lunchtime').

× I want to take a long walk in pretty garden. I love seeing beautiful flowers and I love taking pictures of them. So I want to take a long walk in the garden taking a lot of pictures.

✓ I want to take a long walk in a pretty garden. I love seeing beautiful flowers and I love taking pictures of them. So I want to take a long walk in the garden, taking a lot of pictures.

'pretty garden' 앞에는 가산단수 명사이므로 부정관사 'a'가 필요합니다. 두 번째 문장은 괜찮지만 반복을 피하려면 문장 연결에 쉼표를 추가하는 것이 자연스럽습니다. Suggestion: Use articles before singular countable nouns and add punctuation to clarify meaning.

× I went for a walk in my school campus. My school campus campus is famous for beautiful scenery, so I always take a walk in my school when I have time. Whenever have whenever I have time.

✓ I went for a walk on my school campus. My school campus is famous for its beautiful scenery, so I always take a walk on campus when I have time.

'in my school campus' 보다는 'on my school campus' 또는 'on campus'가 자연스럽습니다. 'campus campus'는 중복 오류입니다. 'is famous for beautiful scenery'에는 소유격 표현으로 'its beautiful scenery'가 적절합니다. 현재 습관을 말할 때 'always take a walk on campus when I have time'처럼 표현합니다. 마지막의 반복 'Whenever have whenever I have time'은 불필요하므로 제거합니다. Suggestion: Use correct preposition 'on campus', avoid word repetition, include possessive 'its', and remove redundant phrases.