走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more fluent and accurate: remove hesitations, correct pronouns and verbs, and make one clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, "because", "so") and keep it to 2–4 concise sentences.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot near my home because there are beautiful green areas and a long boulevard. I usually walk with my friends, which makes the exercise more enjoyable, and I feel relaxed afterwards.

建议: Improve grammar and clarity: start with a clear topic sentence about frequency, then give 1–2 specific reasons. Avoid filler words and complete your thoughts (e.g., explain what it was great for).

示例: Yes, I often went outside when I was a child because I lived in a village. The landscapes were beautiful and the fresh air made it an ideal place to play and explore.

建议: Be concise and accurate: give one main reason and support it with a clear specific detail. Use linking words like "because" and avoid repetition and incorrect phrases (e.g., "beneficial for health").

示例: People like to walk in parks because it helps them relax and improve their health. For example, walking among trees reduces stress and provides a pleasant environment for exercise.

建议: Provide a clear complete answer: name the place, give one or two specific details (distance, scenery), and finish the sentence. Remove hesitations and use linking words like "because" to explain why you would choose it.

示例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the main boulevard by the Black Sea because it is about four kilometres long and offers beautiful sea views, which help me feel relaxed.

建议: Be direct and add one detail: state the place clearly, then give a specific detail such as what you did there or when you went. Avoid repetition and fillers.

示例: Lately I went to Central Park, a green park near my home. I went last weekend and spent an hour walking and watching people exercise.

× Yes, I walk her a lot near my uh, home is uh, uh, very beautiful, uh, green areas and also Blvd.

✓ Yes, I walk there a lot near my home. It is very beautiful, with green areas and a boulevard.

The student used 'her' instead of the correct preposition 'there' (preposition/place adverb). The original sentence also contains run-on structure and missing articles. Break into two sentences and use 'there' for location, 'near my home' for proximity, and 'a boulevard' or 'the boulevard' for the specific place. Suggestion: Use 'there' for places, keep one main clause per sentence, and include articles where needed.

× And I always try to walk uh, with my friends and uh, I feel great and relaxed when I book these areas.

✓ And I always try to walk with my friends, and I feel great and relaxed when I walk in these areas.

The verb 'book' is incorrect here; the correct verb is 'walk' and preposition 'in' is needed for areas. Replace 'book these areas' with 'walk in these areas'. Also remove filler words and add commas for clarity.

× Actually, I lived in the village when I was a child, so I found go outside, uh, and uh, it was a great time because in the village landscapes are beautiful, uh, and the environment is, uh, fascinating.

✓ Actually, I lived in a village when I was a child, so I used to go outside, and it was a great time because the village landscapes were beautiful and the environment was fascinating.

The phrase 'found go outside' is ungrammatical; use 'used to go outside' to describe a habitual past action. Also 'in the village landscapes are beautiful' needs article and correct word order; use 'the village landscapes were beautiful' to match past tense. Keep tense consistent (past) throughout the sentence.

× And also it's, uh, was great for my.

✓ And it was also great for me.

Mixed present 'it's' and past 'was' creates incorrect structure. Use past tense 'it was' and the correct object pronoun 'me' instead of 'my'.

× I think people like to walk in parks because they, I would like to be relaxed, uh, and also it, uh, is beneficial for as a healthy, uh, and uh, they, uh, choose, uh, to work, uh, in the green areas.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because they want to relax, and it is beneficial for their health. They also choose to walk in green areas.

Pronoun and phrase problems: 'they, I would like to be relaxed' mixes persons; use 'they want to relax'. 'Beneficial for as a healthy' is wrong — use 'beneficial for their health'. 'Choose to work' is wrong verb choice; likely 'walk'. Fix pronouns and verb choice and simplify sentence structure.

× If I had the chance, I would umm, like, uh, to take a long walk in the main Blvd.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk on the main boulevard.

Use the correct preposition 'on' for streets/boulevards and the full noun 'boulevard'. Remove filler words. The verb phrase 'would like to take' is correct; only preposition and noun needed.

× Uh, it is approximately 4 kilometer length, uh, and it's uh, across, uh, uh, Black Sea and uh, uh, I feel uh, relaxed and.

✓ It is approximately 4 kilometers long and it runs along the Black Sea, which makes me feel relaxed.

Use plural 'kilometers' and adjective 'long' rather than 'length'. 'Across Black Sea' is wrong; use 'along the Black Sea' to indicate adjacency. Complete the final clause to state the effect. Remove fillers.

× Lately I went to the park.

✓ Recently I went to the park.

'Lately' is usually used with present perfect; for simple past use 'recently'. Alternatively, use 'lately I have been to the park' for present perfect. Choose consistent tense.

× Central Park is a our umm, Green Park near my home.

✓ Central Park is our green park near my home.

Do not use both 'a' and 'our' together; choose 'our'. Capitalization: 'green' should be lowercase unless it's part of the proper name. Remove filler words.

× Uh, uh, and lately I was here.

✓ And recently I have been here.

'Lately' suits present perfect 'have been' rather than simple past 'was'. Use 'recently' with simple past or change to present perfect for ongoing relevance. Also remove fillers and redundant hesitation words.