食物— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more fluent and concise: remove hesitations, use a clear topic sentence, add one specific reason and an example. Use linking words (because, so) and avoid repetition. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

示例: My favourite food is beef hamburgers because they are convenient and filling. For example, I often eat one before work when I need a quick, energising meal.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give specific examples and a brief reason. Reduce filler words and use linking words like although and for example to structure the answer. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: When I was young I loved junk food, although I knew it was unhealthy. For example, I often ate hamburgers, potato chips and sugary drinks because they tasted great and were easy to find.

建议: Give a clear, direct answer and explain with a specific reason or example. Avoid vague phrases and unnecessary repetition. Use linking words such as however or because to make your point coherent. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Not really — I tend to eat the same foods year-round because I prefer a consistent routine. However, I might eat more cold drinks and salads in summer for comfort.

建议: Answer directly and give a clear contrast with linking words (when, but, so). Be specific about what you changed to and why. Remove hesitations and repetition. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, it has changed. When I was a child I ate a lot of junk food, but as I grew older I realised it was unhealthy, so now I prefer salads, grilled fish and vegetables for better energy and wellbeing.

× Uh yeah, my favorite food is uh yeah, must be hamburgers.

✓ Uh yeah, my favorite food is, uh, hamburgers.

The phrase 'must be hamburgers' is unnecessary and awkward here; use a simple noun phrase with the definite or zero article. Also remove filler words for clarity. Use a comma before 'uh' pauses.

× I always choose that beef beef hamburgers because it's very convenient and can give me much energy.

✓ I always choose beef hamburgers because they are very convenient and can give me a lot of energy.

Mismatch of singular/plural: 'hamburgers' is plural so the pronoun/verb should be plural ('they are' not 'it's'). 'Much energy' with affirmative countable sense is better phrased as 'a lot of energy.' Remove redundant word 'that' and repeated 'beef.'

× although I know it will not be good for our body, but the taste of it is really good.

✓ although I know it is not good for our body, the taste of it is really good.

Tense: use present 'is' to state a general truth rather than future 'will not be.' Also avoid using both 'although' and 'but' together; choose one. Removed 'but' to fix conjunction redundancy.

× I can't refuse it, you know, umm, such as hamburgers, uh, potato chips or some juice that's.

✓ I can't refuse it, you know, such as hamburgers, potato chips, or some juice.

Sentence ending 'that's' is incomplete and unnecessary; remove it. No articles needed before plural food items here. Clean up filler words and punctuation for clarity.

× And, uh, to be honest, I always ate the same food for the same time because, uh, you know, I, I, I'm not really want to break the rule and, uh, it will make me feel scary, you know?

✓ And, uh, to be honest, I always eat the same food at the same time because, you know, I don't really want to break the routine and it makes me feel scared.

Tense: maintain present tense 'always eat' for habitual actions. Use correct negative form 'don't really want' instead of 'I'm not really want.' 'Break the rule' is unnatural here; 'break the routine' fits. 'Make me feel scary' is incorrect; use 'make me feel scared.' 'For the same time' -> 'at the same time.'

× Yeah, and change so much, uh, when I was young, I often, uh, it's uh, junk food.

✓ Yeah, it changed a lot. When I was young, I often ate junk food.

Tense consistency: use past 'changed' for a change that occurred. 'I often... it's junk food' is ungrammatical; use past 'ate' for habitual past action and remove extraneous 'it's.' 'Change so much' -> 'changed a lot.'

× But by the time I grew up, I generally, I generally consider that it's not good for our health, so I change it to healthy food.

✓ But by the time I grew up, I generally considered that it was not good for our health, so I changed to healthier food.

Tense: describe past change with past verbs 'considered' and 'changed.' Use 'healthier food' rather than 'healthy food' to show comparison. Avoid repeating 'I generally.' Use past perfect/simple past consistent sequence: 'I generally considered... so I changed.'