建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and slang, and use precise vocabulary. Give one specific supporting detail and use a linking word to make it coherent.

示例: Not really. There are only a few buildings of four or five storeys; most houses nearby are about two and a half storeys. For example, the street next to mine has mostly low-rise family homes, so the skyline is quite low.

建议: Remove hesitations and repeat words. Begin with a direct statement, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to structure your response within 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I often photograph buildings because I enjoy capturing interesting light and shadows. For example, last week I photographed a glass-fronted office block at sunset to highlight the reflections and patterns on its facade.

建议: Clarify the building's name and purpose, remove hesitations, and organise the answer: state the building, give a clear reason, and add a specific detail about what you would do there. Avoid unclear words and keep to three sentences maximum.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the Doria (or specify correct name) Tower because I have never climbed it before. I want to climb to the top to enjoy the city view, especially at sunset, and take photos of the skyline.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, then two concise reasons using linking words such as 'because' and 'also'. Replace informal phrases with precise language and avoid repetition.

示例: No, I wouldn't. I prefer a small, cozy wooden house in the Japanese style because I am afraid of heights, and I also appreciate minimalist living—less clutter and more calm.

× Not really, there are just a few buildings that are four to five story tall.

✓ Not really, there are just a few buildings that are four- to five-story tall.

Use hyphenation and plural form for compound adjectives before a noun: 'four- to five-story' shows the range and 'story' stays singular within the compound; without hyphens it is awkward and can be considered incorrect grammar.

× Uh, other than that, most of the buildings in my area are around 2 1/2 story tall.

✓ Uh, other than that, most of the buildings in my area are around 2 1/2 stories tall.

When indicating number of stories, use the plural noun 'stories' after a numeral greater than one. '2 1/2 story' should be '2 1/2 stories' to match singular/plural agreement.

× There is not any crap like New York or Beijing.

✓ There aren't any skyscrapers like in New York or Beijing.

Although not in the provided list exactly, the original uses inappropriate word choice 'crap' and incorrect structure 'There is not any'. Correct form: 'There aren't any skyscrapers like in New York or Beijing.' This fixes subject-verb agreement with 'there are' and uses suitable vocabulary. (Matches 'There be issue' and 'Article errors' indirectly.)

× I, I use, I do that most of the time whenever I see some shadow or lights, uh, that is passing through the building, I try to capture that perspective through my camera lens.

✓ I do that most of the time: whenever I see some shadows or lights passing through a building, I try to capture that perspective with my camera lens.

Use plural 'shadows' and maintain correct participle form 'passing' without 'is' because 'lights passing' is the correct present participle modifying 'lights'. Also use 'with my camera lens' rather than 'through' for natural expression.

× So I always do that whenever I see something interesting to capture.

✓ So I always try to capture anything I find interesting.

Original is repetitive and awkward. Restructure to avoid redundancy ('do that' + 'to capture') and use a clear verb 'try to capture' with direct object.

× There is not most about that kind of building.

✓ There aren't many buildings of that kind nearby.

'There is not most about' is ungrammatical. Use 'There aren't many' for plurality and correct negation with 'there are'. Also clarify 'of that kind' to refer to the buildings.

× But yes, I, I would love to visit, uh, the Dora one time because at the previous, uh, the original 1, I could not climb.

✓ But yes, I would love to visit the Dora someday because at the original site I couldn't climb it.

Use 'someday' instead of 'one time' for natural future intention, and past tense contraction 'couldn't' is correct for inability in the past; simplify 'the previous, the original 1' to 'the original site'.

× I've never climbed.

✓ I've never climbed it.

Add the object 'it' to complete the verb 'climb'—the sentence lacks the direct object and sounds incomplete. Present perfect 'I've never climbed it' correctly expresses experience up to now.

× So maybe out lop to climb that white tower.

✓ So maybe I'll try to climb that white tower.

Original contains nonwords 'out lop'. Correct future intention uses 'I'll try to climb' which is clear and grammatical.

× No, I prefer very small and cozy building, more like a Japanese style wooden buildings over tall ones.

✓ No, I prefer very small, cozy buildings, more like Japanese-style wooden houses rather than tall ones.

Match plural 'buildings' with 'prefer ... buildings'. Hyphenate 'Japanese-style' as a compound adjective and use 'houses' for natural phrasing; use 'rather than' to contrast preferences.

× Because the first thing is that I'm afraid of height and also the second thing is yeah, I'd like less is more.

✓ Firstly, I'm afraid of heights, and secondly, I believe that less is more.

Use plural 'heights' in the expression 'afraid of heights'. Structure the sentence with 'firstly' and 'secondly' for clarity and use 'I believe that less is more' for a natural expression of the idea.