旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., "I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car"). Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like "leaving senior scenery" and "feel choice to see that moment."

示例: I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching changing landscapes. For example, I like seeing farms and small towns pass by, which helps me relax during the journey.

建议: Give a clear contrast and precise reasons using linking words. Use correct verb forms and avoid repeating phrases. Limit to 2–4 sentences: a topic sentence, a linking word for contrast, and a specific reason or example.

示例: I didn’t used to take photos of scenery outside the car window because I preferred to enjoy the moment. However, now I often take pictures so I can keep memories of interesting views, such as colorful sunsets or unusual buildings I might want to show friends.

建议: Answer directly and clearly. State your preference in the first sentence, then give one or two specific, coherent reasons using linking words. Avoid vague or confusing phrases (e.g., "very hard deer and to"). Use correct nouns and simple descriptive language.

示例: If I had to choose, I would prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and discovering remote trails. I also like learning about the local mountain communities and their traditional way of life.

× I usually look out the window at the scenery when travelling by any transport because leaving senior scenery makes my heart very very mesmerizing and I feel choice to see that moment and.

✓ I usually look out the window at the scenery when travelling by any form of transport because beautiful scenery mesmerizes me and I feel compelled to watch the moment.

The original sentence uses incorrect and unclear pronouns/phrases such as 'leaving senior scenery' and 'I feel choice to see that moment and'. These are not correct pronouns or standard expressions in English. Replacing them with clear subjects and verbs (e.g., 'beautiful scenery mesmerizes me' and 'I feel compelled to watch the moment') fixes the pronoun/reference and meaning issues. Suggestion: use clear noun phrases and standard verbs for feelings (mesmerizes, compels) and avoid literal translations that produce incorrect pronouns or phrases.

× Earlier I did not used to take photo of the scenery outside the car window because I thought living the moment is precious.

✓ Earlier I did not use to take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I thought living in the moment was precious.

The correct form with 'did' is 'did not use to' (not 'did not used to'), and 'photo' should be plural 'photos' to match general practice. Also, the time reference is past, so 'is precious' should be 'was precious' for consistent past tense. Suggestion: after 'did' use base verb form; match noun number and keep tense consistent within the sentence.

× But nowadays I usually take photos of the scenery because I think it's the moment and it's the memory that we should cherish by living that moment also for further.

✓ But nowadays I usually take photos of the scenery because I think it is a moment and a memory we should cherish by living it and keeping it for the future.

The sentence has awkward phrasing and slight tense/usage issues. 'It's the moment and it's the memory' is repetitive; use 'a moment and a memory'. 'By living that moment also for further' is ungrammatical; replace with 'by living it and keeping it for the future'. Maintain present tense 'think', 'take', and use clear noun articles. Suggestion: simplify and use common collocations like 'keep for the future' and 'live the moment'.

× Basically it depends but if I have to ever choose only one, I'll prefer the mountains over the sea because it's like discovering the every paths going to the mountains and leaving the cultures of the people there living there and the lifestyle during mountains because it's very hard deer and to.

✓ Basically it depends, but if I had to choose only one, I would prefer the mountains over the sea because I enjoy discovering the paths that lead into the mountains and learning about the cultures and lifestyles of the people who live there.

The original sentence has multiple structural problems: incorrect conditional form 'if I have to ever choose only one' (use 'if I had to choose'), incorrect future/modal mix ('I'll prefer' should be 'I would prefer' in this conditional), and many unclear phrases ('discovering the every paths', 'leaving the cultures', 'lifestyle during mountains', 'very hard deer and to'). These make the sentence unintelligible. The correction uses a clear conditional structure, proper verb forms, and coherent phrases: 'discovering the paths', 'learning about the cultures and lifestyles'. Suggestion: break long ideas into clear clauses, use standard conditional forms (if + past, would + base verb), and replace literal or incorrect words with standard vocabulary.