旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Begin with a clear topic sentence and avoid grammatical errors and hesitations. Use one or two supporting details with linking words and finish the answer. Keep it natural and under five sentences. For example, say why you prefer the bus, give a specific example of a destination, and conclude briefly.

示例: I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus because buses often take me to places I don’t visit often. For example, I like travelling by bus to nearby forests where I can spot birds and small animals, so I enjoy watching the scenery to prepare for those visits.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence, reduce repetition, and give a specific reason and an example using linking words. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., capture, preserve, memories) and keep to three sentences max.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window to capture memories. For instance, when I see interesting landscapes or festivals, I photograph them so I can remember the atmosphere later. This habit helps me preserve visual reminders of special trips.

建议: Give a clear, grammatical reason for your preference and add a specific detail or example. Use linking words like because or so to make the answer coherent, and avoid vague phrases. Keep the response to two or three concise sentences.

示例: I prefer the sea because its wide horizon makes me feel calm and optimistic. For example, watching the sunrise over the ocean helps me feel refreshed and hopeful about the day ahead.

× By the bus.

✓ By bus.

Use the preposition 'by' with means of transport without the definite article: 'by bus' not 'by the bus'. The article is unnecessary unless referring to a specific bus; here the student means the mode of travel in general. Use 'by bus' for general statements.

× This is because that the bus will take me to somewhere where I didn't go really often, such as the forest, the place that I could umm, seek for some animals or the.

✓ This is because the bus takes me to places I do not visit often, such as forests where I can look for animals.

Multiple issues: 'This is because that' is incorrect — use 'This is because' (no 'that'). 'Will take me' is unnecessary for habitual travel; use present simple 'takes me'. 'Somewhere' should be plural 'places' for generality (see plural issue). 'I didn't go really often' mixes past tense and adverb placement; use present simple 'I do not visit often'. 'Seek for' is incorrect collocation in English; use 'look for' or 'search for'. Remove trailing 'or the.' Simplify and reorder for clarity.

× Yes, that is one of my habits.

✓ Yes, that is one of my habits.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change needed. It correctly uses 'that' to refer to the action previously mentioned. No pronoun error detected, so it is retained.

× I mean that's to record such kind of scenery.

✓ I mean it's to record that kind of scenery.

'Such kind of' is non-idiomatic. Use 'that kind of' or 'such scenery'. Also 'that's to record' is awkward; 'it's to record' is clearer. 'The' is unnecessary before 'scenery'.

× It would help me remember the beautiful, beautiful kind of the memory or the the things that happened there.

✓ It helps me remember the beautiful memories or the things that happened there.

Use present simple 'helps' for habitual action. Repetition 'beautiful, beautiful' is redundant; use 'beautiful'. 'Kind of the memory' is incorrect; use 'beautiful memories'. Remove duplicate 'the'. Keep the sentence concise and natural.

× What made me feel about such kind of natural view is the spectacular view from the now to the part of away that would make me think I have a brighter future by seeing that.

✓ What moves me about that natural scenery is its spectacular view that makes me feel I have a brighter future when I see it.

Numerous preposition and wording errors: 'feel about such kind of natural view' is awkward — use 'moves me about that natural scenery'. 'From the now to the part of away' is nonsensical; replace with 'that makes me feel' and rephrase. 'Would make me think I have' shifts tense and modality; use present 'makes me feel I have'. 'By seeing that' is better as 'when I see it'. The revision corrects preposition misuse and clarifies meaning.