旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and use correct tense and prepositions. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid filler words and repetition.

示例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I do this because I tend to feel a little dizzy in moving vehicles, so sitting by the window and focusing on the distant scenery helps me feel steadier.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence then explain with specific reasons and an example. Use correct collocations (e.g. "take photos from the window", "remind me of"), and avoid awkward word order.

示例: Yes, I often take photos from the car or train window because they help remind me of where I have been and what I saw. For example, on my last trip I photographed a picturesque village, and the photos bring back vivid memories of the journey.

建议: Answer directly with a clear preference, then give two specific reasons using linking words. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. "prefer the mountains", "reminds me of", "I can't swim well"). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

示例: I prefer the mountains because I love the green plants and the peaceful atmosphere. In contrast, the sea reminds me of an unpleasant swimming experience, and since I can't swim very well, I feel more comfortable in the mountains.

× Yes, as I will, because I'm feeling a little dizzy when I was in a car or the bus, especially the bus.

✓ Yes, I do, because I feel a little dizzy when I am in a car or a bus, especially a bus.

The student mixes future ('will'), present continuous ('I'm feeling') and past ('was'). Use simple present for habitual states: 'I feel' and present simple for location: 'when I am in a car or a bus'. Also use the article 'a' before 'bus' and avoid redundancy 'the bus' when speaking generally.

× So it would be better for me to, umm, sit aside the by the window and look around, look outside.

✓ So it would be better for me to sit beside the window and look around.

The phrase 'sit aside the by the window' has wrong prepositions and extra words. Use 'sit beside the window' or 'sit by the window'. Remove redundant 'look outside' after 'look around' to avoid repetition.

× Yes I do outside the car.

✓ Yes, I do when I am outside the car.

The original is unclear and missing context. If the student means taking photos from outside the car, use 'when I am outside the car'. Keep present simple 'I do' for habitual actions.

× It can help me remind the memory about where I travel, when I go there and what I meet.

✓ It helps me remember where I have traveled, when I went there, and what I saw.

Use 'helps me remember' instead of 'help me remind the memory about'. Use correct verb forms: present perfect 'have traveled' for experience, simple past 'went' for specific past time, and 'saw' instead of 'meet' when referring to sights. 'Remember' takes a direct object, not 'remind the memory'.

× So it seems every time I go travel on the train or bus I will take a photo out of outside.

✓ So it seems every time I travel by train or bus I take a photo outside.

Use simple present 'I take' for habitual actions, not 'I will take'. Use 'travel by train or bus' (correct preposition) and 'outside' once at the end. Remove 'go travel' redundancy.

× I think I pray for the mountains.

✓ I think I prefer the mountains.

'Pray for' is incorrect in this context. The intended meaning is preference, so use 'prefer'. This is a word choice issue rather than a tense error.

× I love the green plants in the nature and but As for the sea that could remembers remind me some bad memories about swimming.

✓ I love the greenery in nature, but the sea reminds me of some bad memories about swimming.

Replace 'the green plants in the nature' with 'the greenery in nature' for natural phrasing. 'Remembers remind me' is redundant and incorrectly formed; use 'reminds me'. Also use 'reminds me of' to indicate association.

× I'm not good at not good at smoothly swim.

✓ I'm not good at swimming smoothly.

Use the gerund 'swimming' after 'good at'. Remove duplication 'not good at not good at'. Place the adverb 'smoothly' after the verb form: 'swimming smoothly'.