旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid awkward phrasing like “I extremely enjoy” and unclear remark “I'm not a classic person.” Add one specific example and one linking phrase to support your statement. Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

示例: Yes — I always look out the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy seeing changing scenery like fields, mountains and lakes because the views often feel beautiful and magical. For example, last month I watched a sunrise over the hills and it made the journey much more enjoyable.

建议: Be more specific and use clearer vocabulary. Replace vague words like “strange storms” with precise descriptions (e.g. dramatic storm clouds) and link your ideas with a connector. Limit to 3–4 sentences and give one concrete example of a memorable photo.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of interesting scenery from the car window, especially when the landscape is dramatic. For example, on a trip to Guangzhou I photographed dark, swirling storm clouds over distant mountains — the contrast made a striking picture. Those photos help me remember the journey.

建议: Make your preference statement clearer and correct grammar and word choice (e.g. “bored with the sea,” not “board with the sea”). Give a brief reason and one specific supporting detail or comparison. Use linking words for coherence and keep it to 2–3 sentences if possible.

示例: I prefer the mountains. Since I live in Shenzhen, a coastal city, I’m a bit bored with the sea, so I enjoy mountains for their dramatic cliffs and steep trails. For instance, hiking in the nearby hills gives me a sense of adventure that I don’t get at the beach.

× I extremely enjoy the scenery outside the window, from the field to mountains to lakes, which is very beautiful and magical.

✓ I really enjoy the scenery outside the window, from the fields to the mountains and lakes; it is very beautiful and magical.

The adverb 'extremely' is grammatically possible but unusually strong and unnatural here; 'really' is more natural. 'Field', 'mountains', 'lakes' need correct plural forms and parallel connectors: use 'the fields', 'the mountains and lakes' or 'from fields to mountains to lakes'. The relative clause 'which is very beautiful and magical' refers to 'scenery' so replace with 'it is' for clarity. Suggestion: choose natural adverbs and ensure noun plurality and clear reference.

× And I'm not a classic person.

✓ And I'm not a traditional person.

'Classic' is not the correct collocation for describing personal tastes or style here; 'traditional' or 'conventional' is more appropriate. This is a word choice/pro-noun use issue where the intended meaning (not conventional) is better expressed with 'traditional'.

× Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the window, especially when the landscape is very astonishing, such as when I travelled to Guangzhou in China.

✓ Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the window, especially when the landscape is astonishing, such as when I traveled to Guangzhou in China.

Tense consistency: 'usually take' is present habitual, so use simple past 'traveled' for a specific past event (American spelling) or 'travelled' (British). The sentence used 'travelled' which is acceptable, but 'is very astonishing' should be 'is astonishing' (avoid redundant 'very' with 'astonishing'). Ensure consistent tense and natural intensity.

× There are strange storms or mountains outside, which is very beautiful.

✓ There were unusual storms and striking mountains outside, which were very beautiful.

The original mixes plural nouns with singular verb 'is' and 'strange' is odd with 'storms or mountains'. For clarity and grammatical agreement, match plural subjects with plural verbs ('were') and use better adjectives ('unusual', 'striking'). Use 'and' instead of 'or' to describe coexisting features.

× I prefer the mountains because I live in Shenzhen, which is a seaside city, so I have board with the sea and I think the mountains are very huge and steep, which is very stunning.

✓ I prefer the mountains because I live in Shenzhen, which is a seaside city, so I am surrounded by the sea, and I think the mountains are very large and steep, which is very stunning.

'I have board with the sea' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'I am bored with the sea' or 'I am surrounded by the sea'. If the meaning is boredom, use 'bored with the sea'. If the meaning is geographic, use 'surrounded by the sea'. 'Huge' is acceptable but 'very huge' is redundant; 'very large' or just 'huge' is better. Ensure correct preposition and verb forms and avoid double comparatives ('very huge').

× from the field to mountains to lakes, which is very beautiful and magical.

✓ from the fields to the mountains and lakes, which are very beautiful and magical.

The relative pronoun 'which' refers to plural nouns ('fields, mountains, lakes'), so the verb must be plural 'are' not 'is'. Also make nouns plural for parallel structure. Ensure subject-verb agreement when a relative clause modifies multiple items.