旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Improve grammar (e.g. “look out the window”, “when travelling by car”) and phrasing for clarity.

示例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car. For example, I enjoy watching the changing scenery along the road, which often reminds me of places I visited before. Because of this, I find car journeys relaxing and nostalgic.

建议: Start with a direct yes/no and then give a specific reason and one clear example. Use correct tense and compact sentences. Replace vague phrases (‘go outside’) with precise ones (‘when I’m in the car’), and avoid repeating the same idea.

示例: Yes, I sometimes take photos from the car window, especially when the sunset looks beautiful. For instance, last month I stopped at a viewpoint and captured the orange sky over the hills, which always cheers me up when I look back at the pictures.

建议: Give a clear preference sentence followed by two concise, specific reasons joined with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g. “I prefer the sea because I can watch the sunset”) and avoid fragmented sentences and repetition.

示例: I prefer the sea because I love watching the sunset over the water, which is very calming. Also, the coastal scenery is perfect for taking photos, so I can keep pleasant memories of my trips.

× Yes, I always lookout the window when traveling by car because look at the window train by car, I can see the beautiful view.

✓ Yes, I always look out of the window when traveling by car because when I look out of the window I can see the beautiful view.

The student used incorrect verb forms and concatenated words: 'lookout' is a noun or phrasal verb spelled 'look out' as two words for the verb. Also 'look at the window train by car' is ungrammatical and unclear. The structure requires the base verb 'look' for a habitual present action. Use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' and insert 'when' to link clauses. Suggestion: separate 'look out' into two words, use 'when I look out of the window' for clarity and correct tense consistency.

× Then through the views I can think some uh, memories like the street memories in the past.

✓ Then, looking at the views, I recall memories of streets from the past.

Original sentence has awkward word order and incorrect verb choice 'think some memories'. English uses 'recall' or 'remember' plus 'memories' or uses 'think of' followed by a noun. Also 'the past' should be 'from the past' and 'street memories' is unnatural — better 'memories of streets'. Use a gerund phrase 'looking at the views' to show simultaneous action.

× Yes, sometimes when I go outside, I see the beautiful view, especially the sunset.

✓ Yes, sometimes when I go out, I see beautiful views, especially the sunset.

'Go outside' is not wrong but 'go out' is more natural for leaving a building or vehicle to view scenery. 'The beautiful view' should be plural 'beautiful views' when speaking generally, and articles can be omitted before plural nouns. Keep present simple for habitual actions. Suggest using 'see beautiful views' for natural phrasing.

× I would take the photo from outside the window of the car so that scenery can make me feel happy and I also want to take this memory photos.

✓ I would take photos from the car window because the scenery makes me feel happy and I want to capture these memories.

Article and noun number errors: 'the photo' should be plural 'photos' when speaking generally; 'the window of the car' is wordy — 'car window' is natural. 'This memory photos' is ungrammatical: use 'these memories' or 'these photos' and 'capture' rather than 'take this memory photos'. Also verb agreement: 'scenery makes' (singular) not 'scenery can make me' though 'makes me feel happy' is more natural. Suggest simplifying: 'take photos from the car window' and 'capture these memories.'

× I prefer the sea because the sea I can see the West and I can see the sunset, the beautiful sunset.

✓ I prefer the sea because from the seaside I can see the west and watch the beautiful sunset.

Awkward repetition and missing preposition: 'the sea I can see the West' lacks a preposition — use 'from the seaside' or 'at the sea' and 'see the west' is odd; 'watch the sunset' is more natural. Capitalization: directions like 'west' are not usually capitalized unless a region. Combine ideas to avoid repetition.

× Then the beautiful sunset can make me and take a photo and make me so happy and that I can take the memory also.

✓ The beautiful sunset makes me very happy, and I like to take photos to keep the memory.

Original sentence is fragmented and ungrammatical: 'can make me and take a photo' mixes subjects and verbs improperly. Use a clear subject-verb-object structure: 'The sunset makes me very happy' and 'I like to take photos to keep the memory.' Avoid repeating 'make me' and restructure to show purpose ('to keep the memory').