旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition, filler sounds, and grammar mistakes (e.g. tense and word form). Focus on correct collocations: “look out the window,” “travel by bus or car,” “watch the scenery,” and use plural/singular correctly.

示例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because watching the scenery helps me relax. For example, I enjoy seeing busy streets and people going about their day, which I find interesting and calming. Sometimes I take a few photos to remember what I saw.

建议: Give a clear main sentence and one specific example. Use correct noun forms and articles (e.g. “especially,” “busy city life,” “interesting scenes”). Reduce hesitations and avoid word repetition. Use a linking word such as “for example” or “often” to make the answer coherent.

示例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window, especially of bustling streets. For example, I like capturing busy city life—market stalls, commuters, and street performers—so I can look back on those memories later.

建议: Answer directly and consistently. Choose either mountains or the sea and stick to correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. “I prefer the sea to the mountains,” “the sea relaxes me,” “refreshes my mind”). Use linking words like “because” and give one concrete reason or example. Avoid repetition.

示例: I prefer the sea to the mountains because the ocean relaxes me and refreshes my mind. For instance, I enjoy walking along the shore and listening to the waves, which helps me feel peaceful and more focused.

× Yes, I have fun lookout the week low when I travel with bus and car.

✓ Yes, I have fun looking out the window when I travel by bus or car.

The student used 'lookout' (a noun) instead of the gerund 'looking out' required after 'have fun'. Also 'week low' appears to be a misheard phrase and should be 'window'. Use the gerund after 'have fun' and correct the noun and preposition: 'travel by bus or car'. Suggestion: Use 'have fun doing something' and 'looking out the window'.

× I'll I love to I love both because I enjoy watching the scenery and and it helps me relax.

✓ I love both because I enjoy watching the scenery and it helps me relax.

The sentence contains repetition ('I'll I love to I love') and a duplicated conjunction ('and and'). Remove the extra fragments and keep a single conjunction. Suggestion: Keep sentences concise and avoid repeated phrases.

× I love the busy roads. I love the crowd, people's and the uh, and which is very, uh, peaceful.

✓ I love the busy roads and the crowds; they are very peaceful.

'People's' is a possessive form used incorrectly; 'crowd' should be plural 'crowds' or 'the crowd' and the clause 'and which is' is ungrammatical. Replace with a clear noun and a pronoun 'they' to refer back to the plural noun. Suggestion: Use 'crowds' or 'the crowd' and connect with a clear subject and verb.

× Uh, yes, I do take photos outside the car window, specially bustling streets and uh, and I like capturing every days, every busy cities lives and interesting scenes to look back on.

✓ Yes, I do take photos outside the car window, especially of bustling streets, and I like capturing everyday city life and interesting scenes to look back on.

Errors include 'specially' (should be 'especially'), missing preposition 'of' after 'especially', incorrect pluralization 'every days' and 'every busy cities lives'. Use 'everyday' as an adjective and 'city life' as an uncountable noun. Suggestion: Use 'especially of' and 'everyday city life'.

× I prefer you see over the mountains because the sea gives me so relaxed, so coming and peaceful.

✓ I prefer the sea over the mountains because the sea makes me feel relaxed, calm, and peaceful.

'I prefer you see' is incorrect pronoun/word choice; should be 'I prefer the sea'. 'Gives me so relaxed' is ungrammatical — use 'makes me feel relaxed'. 'So coming' is likely mispronounced for 'calm'; replace with 'calm'. Suggestion: Use 'prefer X over Y' and 'makes me feel' + adjective.

× Being near the being near the sea, it helps me so refresh my mind and soul.

✓ Being near the sea helps refresh my mind and soul.

The phrase repeats 'being near the' and uses 'so refresh' which is incorrect. Remove redundancy and use the verb 'helps' followed by the base verb 'refresh'. Suggestion: Use 'helps refresh' or 'helps to refresh'.

× I enjoy looking out across the ocean. I enjoy looking out the ocean whenever, whenever I visit.

✓ I enjoy looking out across the ocean whenever I visit.

The second sentence repeats 'whenever' and omits the preposition 'across' in the second clause. Combine into one clear sentence and keep the preposition 'across'. Suggestion: Avoid repetition and ensure prepositions are included where needed.