旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms (e.g., ‘when I travel’), and avoid repetition. Use one or two specific supporting details with linking words (e.g., ‘especially’ or ‘because’) and keep to 2–4 sentences. Also use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., ‘bird’s-eye view’ instead of ‘bird's eye will’).

示例: Yes, I do. I often look out of the window when I travel, especially on planes, because I enjoy the bird’s‑eye view of the landscape. For example, seeing the patchwork of fields and winding rivers from above always feels incredible and makes the journey more memorable.

建议: Improve clarity and accuracy: give a clear reason and one specific detail, use correct tenses and vocabulary (e.g., ‘we never see in daily life’, ‘record it on video’). Use linking words (e.g., ‘because’, ‘so’) correctly and avoid unclear words like ‘kite’ when you mean ‘car’ or ‘scene’. Keep answer within 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I often take photos or short videos from the car window because I see landscapes we don’t encounter every day. For instance, I record unusual fields or old houses on video, although fast-moving scenes can be hard to capture clearly.

建议: Be direct and use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Start with a topic sentence stating preference, then give 1–2 clear specific reasons with linking words (e.g., ‘because’, ‘while’). Correct words and spelling (e.g., ‘view’, ‘sea water’, ‘I don’t like activities around mountains such as hiking or camping’). Avoid repetitions and keep it concise.

示例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy the view and the fresh sea smell, and relaxing on the beach helps me unwind. While some people like hiking or camping in the mountains, I prefer sitting by the shore and listening to the waves.

× Yes I do, I always look out the window when I traveling especially when I traveling by plane.

✓ Yes I do. I always look out the window when I travel, especially when I travel by plane.

The verb form after I should be the base form 'travel' for simple present. 'Traveling' is the present participle and incorrect here. Also punctuation was corrected to separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: use 'I travel' for habitual actions in present tense.

× I love to see the bird's eye will and it make me more far from the land.

✓ I love to see the bird's-eye view, and it makes me feel farther from the land.

Several issues: 'bird's eye view' is the correct noun phrase (use hyphens optional in writing). 'Will' is likely a misspelling of 'view'. Subject-verb agreement requires 'it makes' (third person singular). 'More far' is incorrect; use 'farther' or 'further'. Also add 'feel' to express perception. Suggestion: use 'bird's-eye view' and 'it makes me feel farther'.

× It is incredible Will.

✓ It is incredible.

'Will' appears to be an unintended word or name and should be removed. The sentence 'It is incredible' is a complete statement. Suggestion: remove stray words and keep concise response.

× Yes I do, I love to take the view outside the car window because the scene is we never seen in our daily life and I enjoy to record it in in the video because sometimes the kite run fast so it's hard to capture the scene.

✓ Yes I do. I love to photograph the view outside the car window because the scenes are ones we never see in our daily life, and I enjoy recording them on video because sometimes the scenery passes quickly so it's hard to capture.

Multiple tense and verb form issues: use simple present 'see' for habitual action, not 'seen'. 'I enjoy to record' is incorrect; use gerund 'enjoy recording'. 'The scene is we never seen' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'the scenes are ones we never see'. 'Kite run fast' seems to mean 'scenery passes quickly' or 'things move fast'; use appropriate noun and verb. Also correct plural agreement 'scenes are'. Suggestion: use present simple for habits, gerunds after 'enjoy', and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× I do prefer the sea because I love the veil of the sea and the smell of the sea waters and I don't cut a person that enjoy the activity around the mountain, lagging, camping, camping.

✓ I prefer the sea because I love the waves and the smell of the sea, and I don't mind people who enjoy activities in the mountains, like hiking and camping.

'I do prefer' is acceptable but unnecessary; 'prefer' suffices. 'Veil' is incorrect word choice; likely 'waves'. 'Sea waters' is awkward; use 'the sea' or 'the smell of the sea'. 'I don't cut a person' is incorrect; intended 'I don't mind people'. 'That enjoy' should be 'who enjoy' for people. 'Lagging' is incorrect; likely 'hiking'. Also remove repeated 'camping'. Suggestion: use correct vocabulary ('waves', 'hiking'), use 'mind' to express tolerance, and use 'who' for people.

× So I enjoy to sit on the beach. Yes.

✓ So I enjoy sitting on the beach.

After 'enjoy' use a gerund ('sitting') not an infinitive ('to sit'). Also trailing 'Yes' is redundant. Suggestion: use 'enjoy' + verb-ing for activities you like doing.