旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and concise supporting detail. Fix verbs and articles, avoid redundancy, and use one or two linking words. For example, start with “Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car.” Then add a reason: “because the trees and roads change and I find them interesting.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences and check subject-verb agreement and articles (the/a).

示例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because the scenery keeps changing. For instance, I enjoy noticing different types of trees and buildings as we pass them, which makes the journey more interesting.

建议: Be specific and logical: give one clear topic sentence about whether you take photos, then a reason and an example. Avoid unclear phrases like “weird vegetables” unless you explain them, and correct pronouns and tenses. Use a linking word such as “because” or “for example.”

示例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window, especially when I see animals or unusual things. For example, once I photographed a group of goats beside the road because their behavior looked strange and interesting.

建议: Answer directly with a clear preference, then give 1–2 specific reasons using coherent language and linking words. Correct vocabulary (sea, salty, sandy) and avoid filler words. For instance: “I prefer the sea because I like the smell of the salt air and the movement of the waves.” Add a brief detail or memory to support your opinion.

示例: I prefer the sea because I love the salty smell and the sound of the waves. For example, watching the water move and feeling the warm sun on the sand relaxes me and makes seaside visits memorable.

× Oh yes I do this a lot when I'm traveling with by bus or car.

✓ Oh yes, I do this a lot when I'm traveling by bus or by car.

The original sentence used 'with by bus or car' which mixes prepositions incorrectly. Use 'by' with modes of transport (by bus, by car). Also add a comma after 'Oh yes' for natural phrasing.

× I'm looking out all the time because this trees or Rd. is makes me curious.

✓ I'm looking out all the time because these trees or the road make me curious.

Errors: 'this trees' should be plural demonstrative 'these trees'; 'Rd.' should be written 'the road' with the definite article; 'is makes' combines two verbs — use plural verb 'make' to agree with compound subject 'these trees or the road'. Maintain plural agreement when subject is plural or compound.

× Oh yeah, I like to take photo especially if there are animals or weird vegetables.

✓ Oh yeah, I like to take photos, especially if there are animals or unusual plants.

Use plural 'photos' for countable nouns when speaking generally. 'Weird vegetables' is odd in context; 'unusual plants' or 'strange plants' is more natural. Add a comma before 'especially'.

× When I show them, I would love to take their photo because they are impressed for me.

✓ When I show them, I'd love to take a photo of them because they impress me.

Pronoun and possessive errors: 'their photo' and 'they are impressed for me' are incorrect. Use 'a photo of them' and 'they impress me' to express that the subjects (animals/plants) create an impression on the speaker. Also use contraction 'I'd' for natural speech.

× 0200 percent see because like she is very different for me like uh, this smells salty.

✓ I 100 percent prefer the sea because it is very different to me; it smells salty.

'0200 percent see' is unclear and likely meant '100 percent sea' or 'I 100 percent prefer the sea.' 'She' is incorrect for 'sea' (use 'it'). Use 'different to me' or 'different for me' is acceptable but 'different to me' is more common. Remove filler 'like uh' and correct punctuation.

× It smells like sandy old sun.

✓ It smells like sand and warm sun.

Original phrase 'sandy old sun' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use nouns and adjectives in a natural order: 'sand' and 'warm sun' or 'the warm sun' to describe the scent/feeling.

× This is moving and I'm watching this.

✓ The sea is moving and I'm watching it.

Use a clear subject 'the sea' instead of 'this' twice. Match pronoun 'it' to refer back to 'the sea'. This clarifies meaning and improves sentence flow.

× This is so impressive for me.

✓ This is so impressive to me.

Use the preposition 'to' after 'impressive' to indicate the experiencer: 'impressive to me' is the correct collocation rather than 'impressive for me' in this context.