视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Also correct minor grammar and pronunciation issues (e.g., ‘since I was in class five’, ‘I remember’).

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I have liked photography since I was in class five, when I got my first phone, and I soon started learning editing and videography. For example, I often shoot landscapes and then edit the colors to make them more vivid.

建议: Give a direct answer first, then add two clear, specific reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example'). Reduce filler words ('uh', 'so') and tighten sentences. Mention concrete visual details to support your preference.

示例: I prefer rural views because they offer natural scenery and peaceful surroundings. For example, in my village I can photograph green fields and rivers, which are more interesting than city traffic and buildings.

建议: Answer directly and expand with two specific reasons linked clearly. Avoid negative sweeping statements; instead compare specific aspects (cleanliness, variety of landscapes). Complete your final sentence and use smoother linking words like 'because' and 'however'.

示例: I prefer views in other countries because they often feel cleaner and less crowded. For instance, when I travel abroad I notice well-maintained parks and clear coastlines, while here I usually see busy streets and limited open spaces.

× I do like taking pictures of different views.

✓ I have liked taking pictures of different views for a long time.

The student uses simple present 'do like' but refers to a long-term hobby starting in childhood. Use present perfect 'have liked' to show an action or preference that began in the past and continues to the present. Suggestion: use 'I have liked' or 'I have been fond of' for continuity.

× I'm very much fond of photography from a very young age when I was in class 5I remember that I got my first phone and that was an iPhone.

✓ I have been very fond of photography since I was very young; when I was in class 5, I remember getting my first phone, which was an iPhone.

Multiple issues: missing connector 'since' for time reference and run-on sentence lacking punctuation and correct relative clause. Use present perfect 'have been' with 'since' for a continuing state, and change 'I got' to 'getting' after 'remember' or keep 'I remember that I got' with proper punctuation. Also separate clauses with a semicolon or period and use 'which' to introduce the relative clause.

× So from that time I like editing and videography and so on. So. So when I had the.

✓ Since then, I have liked editing and videography. Also, when I had the phone, I started experimenting with them.

Original has redundant 'So' and an incomplete sentence 'So when I had the.' Use 'since then' to connect past to present and complete the thought. Use present perfect 'have liked' for ongoing preference. Avoid repetition and finish the clause about having the phone.

× Actually I live in urban area in the City side, uh so but there's not a lot to take picture of rather than the vehicles and the structures.

✓ Actually, I live in an urban area on the city side, so there is not a lot to take pictures of besides vehicles and buildings.

Missing indefinite article 'an' before 'urban area' and awkward phrase 'City side'. Use 'on the city side' or 'in the city'. 'There's' is acceptable but change to 'there is not a lot to take pictures of' and pluralize 'picture' to 'pictures'. Use 'besides' instead of 'rather than' for this context and 'buildings' instead of 'structures' for naturalness.

× But whenever we go to rural areas in our village, I love the scenic beauty and that is so mesmerizing.

✓ But whenever we go to the rural areas in my village, I love the scenic beauty; it is so mesmerizing.

Mostly correct but needs definite article 'the' before 'rural areas' or 'the rural area'. The pronoun 'our village' can be 'my village' to match speaker. Replace 'and that is so mesmerizing' with 'it is so mesmerizing' for cohesion and correct clause structure.

× I prefer views in other countries.

✓ I prefer views in other countries to those in my own country.

Sentence is acceptable but vague compared to the prompt. Clarify comparison using 'to those in my own country' to indicate what is being compared; maintain simple present 'prefer' for habitual preference.

× Uh, I live in the southwest of Asia, in Bangladesh.

✓ I live in South Asia; I am from Bangladesh.

Phrase 'the southwest of Asia' is awkward and ambiguous. Use 'South Asia' or 'the southwest part of Asia' if accurate. Use clearer phrasing: 'I live in South Asia; I am from Bangladesh.'

× The population here is very much crowded and the country is polluted as well.

✓ The population here is very dense, and the country is quite polluted as well.

'Very much crowded' is non-idiomatic; use 'very crowded' or 'very dense'. Keep present simple for general statements. Use 'quite polluted' or 'also polluted' for natural phrasing.

× So whenever I go abroad, the place there is very much clean and it is.

✓ So whenever I go abroad, places there are much cleaner.

'The place there is very much clean and it is' is ungrammatical and repetitive. Use comparative 'cleaner' to compare with home and plural 'places' or 'the places I visit' for generalization. Remove the trailing 'and it is.'