视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid repetition and hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and replace fillers (uh) with pauses. Also correct the tense and phrasing: say "I enjoy reviewing my photos" and "I can edit them with an app."

示例: I love taking pictures of different views because I enjoy finding the best spots and composing a scene. For example, when I visit a park I try different angles and later review my photos on my phone so I can edit the best ones with an app.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and follow with specific reasons using linking words. Remove redundant phrases and correct grammar (e.g., "I live in an urban area"). Provide one or two concrete examples of what you like about rural views.

示例: I prefer rural views because I live in a crowded city and appreciate the calm and open landscapes there. For example, when I visit a village I enjoy photographing rice fields and traditional houses because they offer natural light and peaceful compositions.

建议: Make your position clearer at the start and avoid repeating words. Use linking words to explain reasons, and give a specific plan or example to support your preference. Correct grammar: "I can't decide yet," and "I love both my own country and other countries."

示例: I can't decide yet because I love both domestic and foreign scenery. However, I plan to explore more of Indonesia first since there are many islands and landscapes I haven't seen, such as Komodo and the rice terraces in Bali.

× I love taking pictures, especially when I can find the best spots, and I really enjoy looking through my photo afterwards.

✓ I love taking pictures, especially when I can find the best spots, and I really enjoy looking through my photos afterwards.

Plural noun required: 'photo' should be 'photos' because 'looking through' implies more than one picture or the general collection. This is a singular/plural noun mismatch; use plural to match the intended meaning. Suggestion: use 'photos' when referring to a set or collection.

× Even though it's not good, it wasn't good enough, I can still edit it through, uh, edit application.

✓ Even though it's not very good and wasn't good enough, I can still edit it using an editing application.

Multiple issues: awkward tense/phrase and incorrect preposition. Use 'not very good' and 'wasn't' consistently, then 'using' + noun is correct for the means. 'Edit application' is missing article and word form—use 'an editing application' or 'an editing app.' Also change 'edit it through' to 'edit it using' for natural preposition use.

× I prefer the rural areas because I recently I live in urban areas which is in the city and it is so crowded.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I currently live in an urban area in the city, and it is very crowded.

Tense and article problems: 'recently I live' is incorrect; use 'currently' for present situation. Use singular 'an urban area' to refer to the general city environment and add article 'the' or 'an' appropriately. Replace 'so crowded' with 'very crowded' for formality. Also remove extra 'the' before 'rural areas' when speaking generally.

× That's why when I went to rural areas I found it more interesting and just have an idea to take a lot of picture of it.

✓ That's why when I went to rural areas I found them more interesting and I had the idea to take a lot of pictures of them.

Pronoun and number agreement and tense: 'it' doesn't agree with plural 'rural areas' so use 'them.' 'Just have an idea' should be past tense 'I had the idea' to match 'went' and 'found.' 'A lot of picture' should be 'a lot of pictures.' Rearranged for natural English sentence structure.

× Honestly, I couldn't decide it it yet because I love both other country in my country, especially in Indonesia, there are a lot of places that I've that I haven't visited yet.

✓ Honestly, I couldn't decide yet because I love both other countries and my own country. Especially in Indonesia, there are a lot of places that I haven't visited yet.

Wrong object and repetition: 'decide it it yet' is incorrect—say 'decide yet' or 'decide which one yet.' Also 'both other country in my country' is ungrammatical—use 'both other countries and my own country.' Removed redundant 'I've that' and corrected tense: 'I haven't visited yet.' Split into two sentences for clarity.

× That's why I think I need to explore more my country first.

✓ That's why I think I need to explore my country more first.

Word order: 'explore more my country' is incorrect in English; place the adverb 'more' after the object: 'explore my country more.' 'First' remains at end to indicate priority. This keeps present-tense modal 'need to' correct.