视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce hesitations and filler words, begin with a clear topic sentence, and keep the answer concise (max 4–5 sentences). Add one specific detail or short example to make the response more vivid. Use linking words like “especially” or “for example” to organize supporting details.

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I especially like photographing landscapes when I travel; for example, I often take shots of mountain ranges and winding paths. I also capture candid moments with friends to remember the trip.

建议: Start with a direct, clear statement of preference, then give a specific reason and one short example. Remove repeated hesitations and correct basic grammar (e.g., “views that are different from where I live”). Use a linking word like “because” or “so” to connect idea and reason.

示例: I usually prefer rural areas because the scenery is very different from where I live. For example, I like photographing quiet country roads and green fields, which feel refreshing and help me relax.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition. Explain one concrete reason and add a brief example. Remove fillers and correct small grammar errors (e.g., “I prefer views in other countries when taking pictures” and “you are more curious when travelling”). Use a linking word like “because” to present the reason smoothly.

示例: I prefer views in other countries when taking pictures because new places spark my curiosity. For instance, when I visited Italy I took many photos of historic streets and unusual architecture to remember the trip.

× I take a lot of pictures, especially while I'm traveling or when I meet, umm uh, my friends.

✓ I take a lot of pictures, especially while I'm traveling or when I meet my friends.

The original sentence included filler sounds 'umm uh' which are not grammatical errors but should be removed for clarity. No pronoun change needed; this suggestion is to remove hesitations. Suggestion: speak with fewer fillers to make the sentence grammatically clean and fluent.

× So it could be pictures of uh, the surrounding, umm, the mountains, the paths, or umm, even the skies.

✓ So they could be pictures of the surroundings: the mountains, the paths, or even the sky.

Use plural 'they' to refer back to 'pictures' and 'surroundings' as a noun is more natural than 'the surrounding'. 'Skies' is possible but 'sky' is more natural in this context. Also remove filler sounds. Suggestion: match pronoun number to 'pictures' and use natural noun forms.

× That's different UMM depending on my mood I would say.

✓ That depends on my mood, I would say.

Use present simple 'depends' to indicate a general truth instead of 'That's different' which is awkward. Also add a comma to separate clauses. Suggestion: use concise present-tense phrasing for habitual or general statements.

× I think I usually prefer rural areas UMM because it's UMM is in views that different from the where I usually live.

✓ I think I usually prefer rural areas because the views are different from where I usually live.

Original has pronoun and word order issues: 'it's UMM is in views' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use 'the views are different' to correctly describe rural areas, and remove filler. Also remove extra 'the' before 'where'. Suggestion: state the subject 'the views' then use appropriate verb 'are'.

× It's just UMM and can help bring back some nice.

✓ They are just relaxing and can help bring back some nice memories.

Original is fragmentary and unclear: 'It's just UMM and can help bring back some nice' lacks a clear subject and object. Presuming the student meant the views are relaxing and evoke memories, revise to 'They are just relaxing and can help bring back some nice memories.' Suggestion: ensure sentences have clear subject and verb and complete object.

× I prefer views in other countries is in terms of taking picture.

✓ I prefer views in other countries when it comes to taking pictures.

Original mixes two clauses incorrectly and has noun number error 'picture' instead of 'pictures'. Use the phrase 'when it comes to' to express the intended meaning and pluralize 'pictures'. Suggestion: use set phrase 'when it comes to' and match noun number.

× I suppose because you you are more curious when you're traveling in the different places and you would like to take more pictures because umm, you want to keep the memory in photos.

✓ I suppose it's because you are more curious when you travel to different places, and you want to take more pictures to preserve the memories in photos.

Remove duplicated 'you' and change 'when you're traveling in the different places' to 'when you travel to different places' for natural phrasing. Use 'preserve the memories' or 'keep memories' and plural 'memories'. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use infinitive 'to preserve' for purpose and pluralize nouns appropriately.