学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は全体的に内容が伝わりますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が見られます。例えば、「touch with a lot of cutting edges」は不自然で、「keep up with cutting-edge developments」などの表現が適切です。また、文のつながりを明確にするために接続詞を使うと良いでしょう。

示例: I have been working as a journalist at a Japanese newspaper company for about 10 years. I mainly cover stories about science and technology development, which I find very enjoyable and stimulating because it allows me to keep up with cutting-edge advancements.

建议: 回答に多くの「uh」や「umm」が含まれており、流暢さが損なわれています。また、文が長くまとまりに欠けているため、簡潔で明確な文に分けることをおすすめします。接続詞を使って論理的に繋げる練習も必要です。

示例: I usually study in a cafeteria because it is comfortable and warm. After finishing my work, I go there to focus on tasks like writing articles and checking content. I also enjoy reading books during my study time.

建议: 回答が不明瞭で意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。例えば、「Taste of a cup of coffee and let's write a small voice over」は意味が不明です。もっと具体的で明確な理由を述べ、文法的に正しい文を作ることが重要です。

示例: Yes, I think it is a good place to study because I enjoy drinking coffee there. The lively atmosphere helps me concentrate on my work, even when people are chatting nearby.

建议: 「small cars from using a cigarette」という表現は誤りです。正しくは「people from smoking」などです。また、理由をもう少し具体的に述べ、文を簡潔にまとめると良いでしょう。

示例: Yes, I would like the cafeteria to prohibit people from smoking because the smell of cigarette smoke often annoys me and makes it difficult to concentrate on my work.

建议: 多くの「uh」があり、流暢さが低いです。また、「rotable lectures of specialists」は意味不明で、正しい表現に直す必要があります。文を簡潔にし、具体的な計画を明確に述べることが大切です。

示例: I plan to study sustainable development in the future. Therefore, I am planning to go to the UK to attend university and learn from expert lectures. I am very excited about this opportunity.

× I'm working at a Japanese newspaper company as a journalist.

✓ I work at a Japanese newspaper company as a journalist.

The present continuous tense 'I'm working' is used for actions happening now or temporary situations. Since the student is describing their job as a regular, ongoing activity, the simple present tense 'I work' is more appropriate.

× I always cover the story about the science and technology development.

✓ I always cover stories about science and technology development.

The phrase 'cover the story' is incorrect here because 'always' implies habitual action and 'story' should be plural to indicate multiple stories. Also, 'the science and technology development' should be 'science and technology development' without 'the' to generalize the field.

× It's very enjoyable and stimulating because I can touch with a lot of cutting edges.

✓ It's very enjoyable and stimulating because I can keep up with a lot of cutting-edge developments.

The phrase 'touch with' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'keep up with' when referring to staying informed. Also, 'cutting edges' should be 'cutting-edge developments' to correctly describe advanced topics.

× I always study in a cafeteria, umm, because, uh, I can, uh, focus on my working, such as, uh, writing articles and checking the contents and it's very, uh, comfortable for me.

✓ I always study in a cafeteria because I can focus on my work, such as writing articles and checking the content, and it's very comfortable for me.

The phrase 'focus on my working' is incorrect; 'work' is the correct noun. Also, 'checking the contents' should be 'checking the content' as 'content' is uncountable in this context.

× And, uh, it's warm. Our routine work, uh, for every day, uh, after I finish my, uh, working, I always go there and read some books.

✓ And it's warm. My routine work every day is that after I finish working, I always go there and read some books.

The phrase 'after I finish my working' is incorrect; 'working' as a noun is not used here. The correct form is 'after I finish working'. Also, 'our routine work for every day' should be 'my routine work every day' to match the subject.

× Taste of a cup of coffee and let's write a small voice over.

✓ Tasting a cup of coffee and writing a small voice-over.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Taste of a cup of coffee' should be 'Tasting a cup of coffee'. Also, 'let's write a small voice over' is unclear and should be rephrased or omitted for clarity.

× Chatting at someone makes me concentrate on my working so I can't escape from that habit.

✓ Chatting with someone helps me concentrate on my work, so I can't escape from that habit.

The preposition 'at' is incorrect; 'chatting with someone' is the correct expression. Also, 'my working' should be 'my work'.

× Yes, I want a cafeteria to prohibit small cars from using a cigarette because sometimes the smell of the cigarette always annoys me and I can't concentrate on my work.

✓ Yes, I want the cafeteria to prohibit smoking because sometimes the smell of cigarettes annoys me and I can't concentrate on my work.

The phrase 'small cars from using a cigarette' is incorrect and confusing. The intended meaning is likely to prohibit smoking in the cafeteria. Also, 'the smell of the cigarette always annoys me' should be 'the smell of cigarettes annoys me'.

× I want to gain a lot of knowledge about a sustainable development in the future.

✓ I want to gain a lot of knowledge about sustainable development in the future.

The article 'a' before 'sustainable development' is incorrect because 'sustainable development' is an uncountable concept here and does not require an article.

× And so, uh, I am planning to, uh, go to the, uh, UK and uh, uh, enter the university and uh, uh, study a lot.

✓ And so, I am planning to go to the UK, enter a university, and study a lot.

The phrase 'enter the university' is incorrect unless referring to a specific university already mentioned. 'Enter a university' is more appropriate here.

× Uh, I am very excited about everything to rotable lectures of specialists.

✓ I am very excited about attending lectures by specialists.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'to rotable lectures of specialists' is incorrect. The corrected sentence clarifies the intended meaning.