学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Улучшите грамматику и устраните лишние слова. Используйте простые времена и короче выражайте идею. Избегайте повтора «will» после модальных конструкций и заполнителей вроде «umm». Дайте одну ясную тему‑фразу, затем одно или два supporting предложения с конкретикой (возраст и причина).

示例: I'm a student at the moment because I'm only 14, so I can't work legally until I'm 18. In my country there are no opportunities for teenagers to get a job before that age.

建议: Сделайте ответ более естественным, сократите повторы и улучшите связку предложений: начните с основной информации (тип школы и место), затем добавьте конкретную деталь (распорядок или отсутствие формы) с логическим связующим словом. Избегайте разговорных сокращений типа 'cause.

示例: I study in a state school in the city. I attend classes every weekday, and we don't have a school uniform, so students can wear their own clothes.

建议: Исправьте ошибки в согласовании и выборе слов. Используйте одно компактное утверждение, затем приведите конкретные причины. Избегайте субъективных или неуместных прилагательных (например, "gorgeous" для учителей) и исправьте структуру "helps us".

示例: Yes, it's a good place to study because the school offers many learning opportunities. The teachers are supportive and patient, which helps students understand lessons better.

建议: Сформулируйте ответ прямее и грамматически правильно: начните с явного «No» или «Not really», затем скажите почему одно‑два конкретных факта. Исправьте порядок слов и согласование (например, "teachers and students"), уберите повторения и неясные фразы.

示例: No, I wouldn't change anything. I prefer my public school to private ones because teachers and students are very kind and the atmosphere is friendly.

建议: Сформулируйте план ясно и логично: используйте связки для последовательности действий. Исправьте грамматику ("I want to be a designer") и конкретизируйте причину; избегайте незаконченных фраз и общих выражений вроде "very much opportunities".

示例: My plan is to prepare for and take the IELTS exam, then apply for a student visa to study in the United States. I hope to study design there because there are many opportunities and strong design programs.

× At the moment I'm a student because I can't work until I will 18 years old.

✓ At the moment I'm a student because I can't work until I am 18 years old.

The future tense 'will' should not be used after 'until' in time clauses. Use the present simple (am) to refer to a future time in a subordinate clause: 'until I am 18.' Avoid 'will' after until.

× Right now I'm umm, 14 years old, but I really want to work.

✓ Right now I'm 14 years old, but I really want to work.

This sentence is acceptable but contains filler 'umm' which is not grammatical. Remove disfluency to make the sentence clear: 'Right now I'm 14 years old.'

× But in our country we don't have any opportunities to work until we will be 18.

✓ But in our country we don't have any opportunities to work until we are 18.

Same issue as above: do not use 'will' after 'until.' Use present simple 'are' for the future time clause.

× I study in a city, More precisely, I study in a state school.

✓ I study in a city. More precisely, I attend a state school.

'More precisely' should start a new sentence or be linked properly; 'study in a city' is vague. Use 'attend a state school' for correct collocation. Capitalization: 'More' should not be capitalized mid-sentence unless starting a new sentence; here start a new sentence.

× I have to go to the school every day 'cause it's my duty and we don't have any uniform, so we can wear everything that we want.

✓ I have to go to school every day because it's my duty, and we don't have a uniform, so we can wear whatever we want.

Do not use 'the' before 'school' when speaking generally: use 'go to school.' Avoid informal ''cause'; use 'because.' Use singular 'a uniform' rather than 'any uniform' here. Use 'whatever we want' rather than 'everything that we want.' Commas improve clarity.

× Exactly, it's a good place to study due to the many opportunities to study in our school.

✓ Yes, it's a good place to study because there are many opportunities at our school.

'Due to' is not used correctly here; use 'because' or 'due to the fact that.' Also use 'there are many opportunities' instead of 'the many opportunities.' 'At our school' is a more natural prepositional phrase.

× We have the good teachers that not cruel.

✓ We have good teachers who are not cruel.

Use 'who' for people (not 'that') and the verb 'are' is required: 'who are not cruel.' Also omit 'the' before 'good teachers' in general statements.

× Their assistance really helps to us and they're gorgeous and wonderful.

✓ Their assistance really helps us, and they are kind and caring.

'Helps to us' is incorrect; use 'helps us.' Describing teachers as 'gorgeous' is odd in this context; use 'kind and caring' or 'supportive' to describe their character. Use 'they are' instead of contraction for clarity if desired.

× They don't scream at us.

✓ They don't shout at us.

'Scream' is possible but 'shout' is more natural for teachers. Both are verbs; this is a stylistic improvement rather than strict grammar.

× No, I would like to change nothing in my school due to our school is better than private school because our teachers students are very kind, their behavior is the very well.

✓ No, I would not like to change anything in my school because our school is better than private schools: our teachers and students are very kind, and their behaviour is very good.

Multiple errors: use negative 'would not like to change anything' not 'would like to change nothing.' 'Because' is the correct conjunction; do not follow 'due to' with a clause like that. Use plural 'private schools.' Add 'and' to connect 'teachers and students.' Use 'behaviour is very good' instead of 'their behavior is the very well.'

× My future study plans like this I want to apply for IELTS after that I want to get the visa and fly to the new country.

✓ My future study plans are like this: I want to apply for the IELTS; after that I want to get a visa and fly to a new country.

Sentence structure and articles: use 'are like this' and add punctuation. 'the IELTS' is common; 'a visa' not 'the visa' unless referring to a specific one. 'New country' doesn't need 'the.'

× It's my dream country, America.

✓ My dream country is America.

Use a full clause for clarity: 'My dream country is America.' The original is understandable but fragmented.

× There is very much opportunities to study and I want to be designer 'cause it's very.

✓ There are many opportunities to study, and I want to be a designer because it's very promising.

Use 'there are' for plural 'opportunities' (not 'there is'). Use 'many' not 'very much' with countable nouns. Add article 'a designer.' 'Because it's very' is incomplete; add an adjective like 'promising' or 'interesting.'