新闻— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 전반적으로 질문에 직접 대답하고 있지만 말이 중복되고 채우는 말(umm, uh)이 많습니다. 문장을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 만들기 위해 문장 구조를 정리하고 시제를 정확히 사용하세요. 또한 'recent issues'처럼 더 정확한 어휘를 사용하고, 이유를 한두 문장으로 명확하게 제시하세요. 예: 주제문→이유→결론 형태로 최대 3문장 이내로 답하세요.

示例: Yes, I often read news on my phone during my commute. I do this to keep up with current issues so I can discuss them with classmates. It helps me stay informed without spending extra time.

建议: 답변에 망설임과 반복이 많아 유창성이 떨어집니다. 핵심을 먼저 말한 뒤 구체적인 수단을 나열하고 이유를 덧붙이세요. 연결 표현(For example, because, so)을 사용해 문장 흐름을 개선하세요. 또한 'we always bring our phone' 대신 개인 관점을 명확히 표현하세요.

示例: I usually get news on my phone, mainly through news websites and YouTube. For example, I follow a few news channels on YouTube because video summaries are quick and convenient. This is useful since I carry my phone everywhere.

建议: 부정 표현과 이유 제시는 좋지만 문법과 어휘 오류가 많습니다. 'not yet'은 부자연스럽고 'talent of writing and reading' 대신 'strong writing and research skills'를 쓰세요. 이유를 두세 문장으로 간결하게 정리하고 문법적으로 완전한 문장을 사용하세요.

示例: I don't think I would like to be a journalist. It requires strong writing and research skills, which I feel I lack at the moment. Also, journalists need to read and verify many sources, and I'm not confident in doing that regularly.

建议: 대체로 질문에 응답했지만 문장이 중복되고 마무리가 모호합니다('I saw the current' 등). 읽은 내용의 구체적 예시를 하나 덧붙이면 더 좋습니다. 시제는 과거형으로 유지하고, 불필요한 감탄사(Oh, yeah)를 줄이세요.

示例: Yes, I read some news on my phone during my subway ride here. I checked several stories about local politics and a traffic accident near my neighborhood. It only took a few minutes but kept me updated.

建议: 좋은 내용이지만 어휘 선택과 표현이 부정확합니다('social tissue' → 'social issues'). 문장을 깔끔하게 정리하고 구체적 주제(예: crime, education, technology)를 한두 개 제시하세요. 이유나 느낌을 덧붙이면 더 자연스럽습니다.

示例: Yes, my best friend and I often discuss current events. For example, we talk about recent crimes and social issues, and we enjoy sharing opinions about possible solutions. These conversations help me see different perspectives.

× Yes, I tried to read the online news on my phone, so when I go to the school by subway, uh, I checked the Internet news so I can know the issue recently issue and I can talk others.

✓ Yes, I try to read online news on my phone, so when I go to school by subway, I check the news on the Internet so I can know recent issues and talk with others.

The student mixes past and present tenses inconsistently. Use present simple for habitual actions (try, go, check). 'Online news' does not need 'the'. 'Go to school' is the normal collocation without 'the'. Use 'recent issues' (correct word order and plural). Add 'with' after 'talk' to indicate the person spoken to. Improve clarity by removing filler words. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Umm, I usually find yes umm my phone umm Internet or YouTube umm yes umm I think it is very convenient way so we always bring our phone.

✓ I usually find news on my phone, on the Internet, or on YouTube. I think it is a very convenient way because we always bring our phones.

Use present simple for habitual actions (usually find, think). Add the object 'news' to clarify what is being found. Use preposition 'on' with platforms (on my phone, on YouTube). 'Way' requires the article 'a'. 'We always bring our phones' uses plural to match 'we'. Remove fillers to make the sentence fluent. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Not yet umm I wouldn't like to be a journalist because I think I don't have a talent of writing and reading umm but this job has to good at writing and they read a lot of writers.

✓ Not yet. I wouldn't like to be a journalist because I don't think I have a talent for writing and reading. This job requires being good at writing and reading a lot of writers' work.

'Wouldn't like' is acceptable but more natural is 'I wouldn't want to be' for hypothetical preference; kept modal sense. Use 'I don't think I have' to express opinion. Use 'talent for' not 'talent of'. 'Has to good at' is incorrect; use 'requires being good at'. Clarify 'they read a lot of writers' work' to express that journalists read many writers' works. Correct noun/verb forms and prepositions. Grammar problem type ID:4

× Oh yes, when I went here by subway, I read some news on my phone and I checked current events and yeah, I saw the current.

✓ Oh yes, when I came here by subway, I read some news on my phone and checked the current events.

Use past tense consistently for a completed past action: 'came' rather than 'went here' (more natural: come here), 'read' and 'checked' are past tense — keep both. 'I saw the current' is incomplete; use 'checked the current events' or 'checked the news about current events.' Remove filler 'yeah' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:5

× Oh yes, umm my best friend loves talking to the current event. Umm she knows a lot of things like recently crime and social tissue so we enjoy talking about them.

✓ Oh yes, my best friend loves talking about current events. She knows a lot about recent crimes and social issues, so we enjoy talking about them.

Use 'loves talking about' rather than 'to'. 'Current events' should be plural. Use 'recent crimes' (plural) and 'social issues' not 'social tissue'. Use 'knows a lot about' to indicate knowledge of topics. Maintain present simple for habitual actions. Correct vocabulary and preposition use. Grammar problem type ID:6