分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make your response clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two concise supporting details. Avoid confusing phrases like “share us” and reduce hesitations.

示例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, they encouraged my siblings and me to take turns with toys and food so we learned to consider each other’s needs and stay close as a family.

建议: Be more concise and natural: open with a clear topic sentence, then give specific examples and a brief reason. Reduce fillers like “uh” and “umm”.

示例: I usually share most of my belongings, except for personal hygiene items. For instance, I’m happy to lend clothes, books, or chargers, but I wouldn’t share a toothbrush or a towel for hygienic reasons.

建议: Organize your answer into a clear topic sentence and a couple of specific examples. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Explain briefly why these items shouldn’t be shared (health risk).

示例: Items that are not suitable to share are personal hygiene products because they can spread germs. For example, you shouldn’t share toothbrushes, towels, or combs since they can transfer bacteria or lice.

建议: Answer directly and finish the thought. Use past tense correctly and give one or two clear, complete sentences. Remove fillers and repeated words.

示例: Yes. Recently I lent several dresses to my sister because we have the same size and she needed them for an event. We often borrow clothes from each other, which is convenient and saves money.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the person, then give one reason and optionally another person. Avoid trailing off at the end.

示例: I would first share good news with my mother and my sister because I’m close to them and they always support me. I also often tell a close friend afterward because they celebrate with me and offer practical advice.

建议: Be more specific about the types of news and organize your answer with a topic sentence plus one or two concrete examples. Reduce redundancy and unclear phrases.

示例: I share all kinds of news with my friends, from daily updates to important milestones. For example, I tell them about new job opportunities, relationship news, or travel plans because we trust each other and maintain a supportive environment.

× Yes, it was quite important for them to share us and see us actually to do that especially with our siblings because it reminds us that we are close knit family.

✓ Yes, it was quite important to them that we shared and that they actually saw us doing that, especially with our siblings, because it reminded us that we were a close-knit family.

The original sentence has sentence structure and verb usage problems (IDs 26 and 27). 'Share us' is incorrect because 'share' is transitive in a different way; the intended meaning is that parents taught the children to share, so use 'that we shared' or 'to teach us to share'. Also 'see us actually to do that' is ungrammatical; correct form is 'saw us doing that'. Tense consistency: question refers to childhood, so past tense 'was' and 'reminded' and 'were' are appropriate. Hyphenate 'close-knit'. Suggestion: rephrase into clear clause with 'that' and use past tense verbs and gerund after 'saw'.

× I'm not greedy so I share quite everything unless the item is hygienic or maybe too personal.

✓ I'm not greedy, so I share almost everything unless the item is unhygienic or too personal.

The phrase 'share quite everything' is nonstandard; use 'share almost everything' (quantifier issue, ID 14). 'Hygienic' is the wrong adjective; the speaker means 'unhygienic' (incorrect use of adjectives, ID 13). Also add a comma before 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: use common quantifiers like 'almost' and correct adjective polarity 'unhygienic'.

× Uh, you know, something like umm, toothbrush or maybe your towel.

✓ Uh, you know, something like a toothbrush or maybe a towel.

Omission of the indefinite article before singular countable nouns is incorrect (article errors, ID 22). 'Your towel' is acceptable but to match general examples use 'a towel'. Suggestion: include 'a' before 'toothbrush' and 'towel' when speaking generally about items.

× Other than that, I'm quite easy going.

✓ Other than that, I'm quite easygoing.

'Easy going' should be written as the compound adjective 'easygoing' (incorrect use of adjectives / word form, ID 13). Suggestion: use the single-word adjective 'easygoing'.

× Uh, the things that, uh, have that have, umm, uh, hygienic, umm, you have a hygienic, uh, safety.

✓ Uh, things that involve hygiene or safety issues require extra care.

Original is repetitive and uses incorrect noun/adjective forms ('hygienic' vs 'hygiene') and awkward structure (sentence structure errors, ID 26; incorrect use of adjectives, ID 13). Use the noun 'hygiene' or the adjective 'unhygienic' depending on meaning. Suggestion: simplify to 'things that involve hygiene or safety issues'.

× So you have to be quite careful with that, like sharing or tooth toothbrush or maybe your comb because you might put your, put you at risk of getting.

✓ So you have to be quite careful with those, like sharing a toothbrush or maybe a comb, because you might put yourself at risk of infection.

Multiple errors: 'tooth toothbrush' is a redundancy and missing article (article errors ID 22); 'put your, put you at risk of getting' is ungrammatical and misuses pronoun and reflexive form (incorrect pronoun/reflexive pronoun, IDs 12 and 15). Use 'yourself' as reflexive pronoun and complete the phrase with a noun such as 'infection'. Also 'that' should agree with plural 'those' to match 'things' (singular/plural issue, ID 1). Suggestion: use 'sharing a toothbrush' and 'put yourself at risk of infection'.

× Yes uh, I've actually recently umm share my clothes with my sister and we're quite close to each other and we share the same size.

✓ Yes, I've actually recently shared my clothes with my sister; we're quite close and we wear the same size.

When using present perfect 'I've recently', the main verb should be in past participle 'shared' (verb in the past participle form, ID 9). Also 'we share the same size' is better expressed as 'we wear the same size' (word choice). Suggestion: use 'shared' after 'I've' and consider 'wear the same size' for clarity.

× So I just borrowed. I just lend my umm clothes umm clothes, so she could actually use it other than that, I recently.

✓ So I just lent my clothes so she could use them; other than that, I haven't recently shared anything else.

Confusion between 'borrow' and 'lend' (verb usage, ID 4/modal/verb usage) and incorrect tense forms: 'lend' should be past 'lent' (past tense issue, ID 5). Pronoun agreement: 'clothes' is plural, so use 'them' not 'it' (pronoun error, ID 12). The sentence is incomplete; complete thought with a contrasting clause. Suggestion: use 'I lent' and 'them', and finish the sentence coherently.

× Uh, my mom and my sister, I'm quite close with, uh, both of them.

✓ Uh, my mom and my sister; I'm quite close with both of them.

Original has punctuation and sentence structure issues (sentence structure errors, ID 26). Moving the clause makes it clearer. Pronoun use is acceptable but punctuation helps clarity. Suggestion: restructure to 'My mom and my sister; I'm quite close with both.'

× So they are my go to person, uh, umm, because I know that they are going to be quite happy with my good news.

✓ So they are my go-to people because I know they will be quite happy about my good news.

'Go to person' is incorrect for referring to two people; use plural 'people' (singular/plural issue, ID 1). Hyphenate 'go-to'. 'Are going to be' is acceptable but 'will be' is more natural. Use 'happy about' rather than 'with'. Suggestion: use 'go-to people' and 'happy about'.

× And, but other than that, one of my close friends, uh, is someone I always reach out when I have a good.

✓ But other than that, one of my close friends is someone I always reach out to when I have good news.

'I always reach out' requires the preposition 'to' (incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11). The sentence ends incompletely; add 'news' to complete the object (sentence without a verb/object, IDs 23 and 26). Also remove redundant 'and, but'. Suggestion: use 'reach out to' and complete with 'good news'.

× Anything, uh, we actually have a quite close relationship with each other.

✓ Anything. We actually have quite a close relationship with each other.

Minor article placement and word order: 'a quite close' is less natural than 'quite a close' or 'quite close' (order of adjectives / article errors, IDs 18 and 22). Also splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Suggestion: say 'We actually have quite a close relationship with each other.'

× So we share everything and we Love Actually this thing, this thing about ourselves because we create, we created as we are creating a safe environment to everybody can express themselves.

✓ So we share everything and we actually love this about ourselves because we have created a safe environment where everyone can express themselves.

Multiple tense and structure errors: inconsistent tense 'create, we created as we are creating' (tense issues, IDs 5,6,7). 'Love Actually' seems to be filler; use 'actually love'. 'This thing, this thing about ourselves' is repetitive; simplify. Use 'have created' (present perfect) to indicate a state established in the past with present relevance. Use 'where' for a relative clause and 'everyone' instead of 'everybody can' to fix word order (incorrect order/structure, ID 26). Suggestion: simplify and keep consistent tense: 'we actually love this about ourselves because we have created a safe environment where everyone can express themselves.'