分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid filler phrases like "you know". Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and vary vocabulary (e.g., "encouraged" → "taught me the importance of").

示例: Yes. My parents taught me the importance of sharing from an early age; they encouraged me to give food, toys, and school supplies to others. For example, I often shared toys with my younger brother so we could play together and learn to resolve conflicts.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence and avoid conversational fillers. Use linking words (e.g., "For instance", "Additionally") and provide one specific example to illustrate. Correct grammar: "I also like to share".

示例: I usually share books and clothes with my friends. For instance, we often swap novels so we can discuss different authors' styles, and I sometimes share homemade snacks when we study together.

建议: Be grammatically accurate and concise. Avoid fillers like "there's like" and the trailing "so." Use a clear topic sentence followed by specific reasons and a linking word (e.g., "because").

示例: I think money and personal secrets are not suitable for sharing because disagreements over money can cause conflicts, and revealing secrets can betray trust and damage friendships.

建议: Avoid repetition and correct grammar (remove duplicate phrases and use past tense consistently). Provide one concise example with a brief reason using a linking word like "because" or "since."

示例: Yes. Recently I lent my colleague my copy of 1984 because he was interested in reading it and we enjoy discussing literature together.

建议: Remove hesitations and correct grammar ("we shall almost everything" → "we share almost everything"). Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: The first person I would share good news with is my boyfriend because he is my best friend and always supports me. Since we live together, he is the first person I see, so I would tell him immediately.

建议: Be concise and fix repetition and grammar ("I shared the I shared"). Use linking words like "for example" properly and explain briefly why you avoid sharing bad news. Keep responses natural and within 2–3 sentences.

示例: I usually share good news with my friends; for example, I told my close friends immediately when I received an MBA offer last year. I tend not to share bad news because I don't want to make them worry unnecessarily.

× Sometimes I also like share my food and my new ideas with my friends.

✓ Sometimes I also like to share my food and my new ideas with my friends.

After verbs like 'like' we use the infinitive 'to share' or the gerund 'sharing'. In this context 'like to share' is natural; omitting 'to' is ungrammatical when using the base form 'share'. Use 'like to share' or 'like sharing' to be correct.

× 'Personally, I think there's like a money and secrets are not suitable for sharing with others because sometimes these things can damage our relationships so.'

✓ 'Personally, I think money and secrets are not suitable for sharing with others because sometimes these things can damage our relationships.'

The original sentence has incorrect and redundant words: 'there's like a money' is ungrammatical and mixes singular 'there is' with plural nouns. Remove 'there's like a' and the trailing 'so' and keep the plural nouns 'money and secrets'. This yields a clear subject-verb agreement and logical sentence.

× I once shared one of my favorite books called 1984 with my colleague because with my colleague because he also really interested in that book.

✓ I once shared one of my favorite books, 1984, with my colleague because he was also really interested in that book.

The clause 'he also really interested' is missing the auxiliary 'was' for past tense. Also remove the duplicated phrase 'with my colleague'. Use past tense 'was interested' to match 'once shared'.

× Uh, them today my boyfriend, because he's also my best friend and we shall almost everything.

✓ Uh, the first person would be my boyfriend, because he's also my best friend and we share almost everything.

'them today my boyfriend' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'the first person would be my boyfriend'. Also 'shall almost everything' is incorrect verb choice and form; use 'share almost everything' for correct verb and meaning.

× He always supports me and I'd tell him right away.

✓ He always supports me and I'd tell him right away.

No tense error in this sentence; it is acceptable as spoken style. No correction needed.

× And now we're living together so we stay the whole day together.

✓ And now we live together so we spend the whole day together.

'We're living together' is acceptable progressive for current arrangement, but 'we stay the whole day together' is unnatural. Use 'we spend the whole day together' for natural English. Either 'we're living together' or 'we live together' is fine; maintain natural collocation 'spend the whole day together'.

× Honestly, I really share good news with my friends.

✓ Honestly, I usually share good news with my friends.

The adverb 'really' is awkward here; 'usually' better expresses frequency. This is a style improvement more than strict grammar, but it clarifies meaning.

× For example, when I received my MBA offer last year, I shared the I shared this news with my close friends immediately.

✓ For example, when I received my MBA offer last year, I shared this news with my close friends immediately.

The sentence contains a duplicated fragment 'I shared'. Remove the extra 'I shared' to correct the structure and keep past tense consistent.

× I don't like share bad news with them because I don't want them worry about me.

✓ I don't like to share bad news with them because I don't want them to worry about me.

After 'like' use 'to share' or 'sharing'; add the infinitive marker 'to'. Also 'them worry' needs 'to' before 'worry' ('them to worry') to form the correct object + infinitive structure.