网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid redundancy. For example, mention the exact age or period and explain briefly why you started using the internet. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I started using the internet when I was a teenager, mainly because my teachers began sending assignments through mobile phones during the COVID-19 pandemic.

建议: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and try to structure your answer clearly. Use linking words to connect your reasons and be more specific about your activities online. Keep your sentences concise and natural.

示例: I am online almost all the time because of various reasons. For instance, I watch lectures for my studies, and for entertainment, I use Instagram and YouTube to lighten my mood.

建议: Your answer is good but can be improved by linking sentences better and making it more concise. Use linking words to show cause and effect and avoid unnecessary details.

示例: Yes, I remember when I was about five years old, my parents did not allow me to use the internet because I was fascinated with their phones and kept grabbing them, which they did not like.

建议: Your answer is clear and relevant. To improve, try to use linking words to connect your ideas and provide a specific example of how you are reducing screen time.

示例: In my opinion, I spend too much time online, which is affecting my personal growth and skills. Therefore, I am trying to reduce my screen time by setting daily limits on my phone usage.

建议: Avoid repeating the same idea and try to give a more balanced answer. Start with a clear topic sentence and explain what activities you would do without the internet. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

示例: Without the internet, I would find it difficult since most of my school work and social activities depend on it. However, I would spend more time reading books and engaging in outdoor activities.

× I started using Internet when I was around my teenage.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was around my teenage years.

The word 'Internet' is a proper noun that requires the definite article 'the' before it. Also, 'teenage' should be followed by 'years' to be grammatically correct.

× all the teachers send used to send the work on cell phones due to COVID-19 and it was.

✓ all the teachers used to send the work on cell phones due to COVID-19.

The phrase 'send used to send' is incorrect. The correct past tense expression is 'used to send'. Also, the sentence was incomplete and 'and it was' is unnecessary here.

× It could be related due to studies, entertainment, uh, social work and many other things.

✓ It could be related to studies, entertainment, social work, and many other things.

The correct preposition to use with 'related' is 'to', not 'due to'. 'Due to' is used to indicate cause, not relation.

× Uh for uh study work I usually see lectures and for entertainment purposes I use Instagram and YouTube just to enlighten my mood.

✓ For study work, I usually watch lectures, and for entertainment purposes, I use Instagram and YouTube just to lighten my mood.

The phrase 'see lectures' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'watch' when referring to lectures. Also, 'enlighten my mood' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'lighten my mood'.

× I definitely remember the time when I was not allowed to use the Internet.

✓ I definitely remember the time when I was not allowed to use the internet.

In modern usage, 'internet' is often written without the definite article 'the' and in lowercase, especially in informal contexts. However, both forms are acceptable; consistency is key.

× I was very much fascinated with the phones that my mother and father used, so I also once grabbed it.

✓ I was very fascinated with the phones that my mother and father used, so I once grabbed one.

The phrase 'very much fascinated' is better as 'very fascinated'. Also, 'grabbed it' is incorrect because 'phones' is plural; 'one' should be used to refer to a single phone.

× They didn't like my behaviour.

✓ They didn't like my behaviour.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× Being so much addicted towards the Internet, I cannot live without it and all the social work, entertainment purposes and all my personal and school work is based on it.

✓ Being so addicted to the internet, I cannot live without it, and all the social work, entertainment purposes, and all my personal and school work are based on it.

The correct preposition with 'addicted' is 'to', not 'towards'. Also, 'work' is uncountable, but since multiple types of work are mentioned, the verb should be plural 'are' instead of 'is'.