生日— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify and correct vocabulary, use a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. For example, say you donate items or money, explain what you donate and why. Use linking words to connect ideas and keep it under five sentences.

示例: I usually donate to charity on my birthday. For example, I give clothes and toys to underprivileged children because I want to share my good fortune. Also, I sometimes volunteer at a local shelter to help serve meals.

建议: Use correct tense and complete sentences. Start with a topic sentence about past celebrations, then add one specific supporting detail and a linking word. Avoid vague phrases like ‘the person’.

示例: When I was young, I usually had a small birthday party in the evening. My mother always prepared a special cake, and my family and friends would sing and celebrate together.

建议: Make your main opinion clear and support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct phrases like ‘order up for one year’ to ‘one year older’ and use concise wording.

示例: At the moment, celebrating my birthday is not very important to me because I see it mainly as a time to reflect. For example, I use that day to list goals I want to achieve in the coming year and plan how to reach them.

建议: If you are unsure, give a brief honest statement and then offer a reasonable guess with supporting reason. Use correct grammar and avoid contradictory phrases like ‘not live in China’ followed by ‘we’.

示例: I'm not very familiar with customs in China because I don't live there, but I think important public figures, such as national leaders or the emperor in historical contexts, have traditionally had their birthdays celebrated. For instance, national holidays sometimes honor important leaders' birthdays.

× I usually do the donate activity on my birthday such as donate the bride and donate those thing to the children.

✓ I usually do donation activities on my birthday, such as donating bread and donating things to children.

Article and noun form errors: 'do the donate activity' is incorrect; use 'do donation activities' or 'participate in donation activities'. 'Donate the bride' is likely 'donating bread'; 'those thing' should be plural 'things' and no article before 'children'. Use gerunds after 'such as' for parallel structure. Improve by using correct nouns and gerunds and matching singular/plural forms.

× I have a birthday party at the evening.

✓ I had a birthday party in the evening.

Tense and preposition error: The question asks about when you were young (past), so use past tense 'had' not 'have'. Also use preposition 'in the evening' not 'at the evening'. Improve by matching tense to the time frame and using correct prepositions of time.

× My mom's always prepared a cake for my birthday and the person.

✓ My mom always prepared a cake for my birthday and for the guests.

Tense and word choice: 'My mom's always prepared' mixes contraction with past meaning; in past context use 'My mom always prepared'. 'the person' is unclear; likely meant 'the guests' or 'people'. Improve by using simple past consistently and choosing correct nouns for meaning.

× Right now it is not important for me to celebrate it.

✓ Right now it is not important for me to celebrate it.

This sentence is grammatically correct for present time; no change needed. Keep present tense as it matches 'right now'.

× I just realized that I'm order up for one year and yes, just list what the goal that I want to have done next year before my birthday.

✓ I just realized that I will be one year older, so I list the goals I want to achieve before my next birthday.

Several errors: 'I'm order up for one year' is incorrect wording—use 'I will be one year older' or 'I will turn one year older'. 'Just list what the goal that I want to have done next year before my birthday' has redundant and incorrect structures; use 'I list the goals I want to achieve before my next birthday.' Improve by simplifying structure, using future expression 'will be' and correct relative clauses.

× I have no idea because I'm not live in China, but in time we celebrate the birthday of the king.

✓ I have no idea because I don't live in China, but in some places we celebrate the birthday of the emperor/king.

Verb form and auxiliary error: 'I'm not live' is incorrect; use 'I don't live' to negate present simple. Also 'in time' is unclear; likely 'in some places' or 'in some regions'. 'King' vs 'emperor' depends on country; suggest 'king' or 'emperor' as appropriate. Improve by using correct negative auxiliary for simple present and clearer phrases for location/context.