硬币— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details, using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "cards and do online payments" → "cards and online payments"). Also fix article and preposition errors ("in Canada" not "in in Canada").

示例: Yes, I still use coins occasionally for small purchases such as public transport and budget stores like Dollarama. However, I mainly use cards and online payments because they are faster and more secure.

建议: Give a direct answer then explain with a clear contrast using linking words. Correct collocations and grammar ("convenient in specific places"; "make transactions more convenient"). Keep to max five sentences and avoid redundant phrases like "more convenient and comfortable."

示例: Yes, coins are convenient in certain places, for example budget stores and some bus routes. However, for most purchases I prefer Apple Pay or cards because they are quicker and more convenient.

建议: Use past-tense consistently and correct subject pronoun order ("My sister and I"). Begin with a clear topic sentence then add two specific details. Avoid present-tense statements about past feelings (use past tense: "We loved").

示例: Yes, I collected coins as a child because my father gave me about ₹5 each day. My sister and I kept the coins in a piggy bank so we could buy sweets like candies and lollipops.

建议: Answer directly, use correct article/collocation ("some coins," "on me"), and keep tenses consistent. Use a concise example with correct names and verb agreement ("machines were not working"). Avoid unnecessary phrases like "within yourself."

示例: Yes, I always carry some coins with me because cash can be useful. For example, once I visited a shop where the card and Apple Pay machines were not working, so having coins saved me from problems.

× Yes, I still use coins occasionally for some purchases like public transport or when I go for shopping in Dollarama.

✓ Yes, I still use coins occasionally for some purchases like public transport or when I go shopping at Dollarama.

Remove the unnecessary preposition 'for' before 'shopping' and use 'go shopping' as the correct verb phrase; use 'at' for a store location. 'Go for shopping' is nonstandard in English, and 'in Dollarama' should be 'at Dollarama' when referring to a specific store.

× However, I mostly rely on cards and do online payments, especially in in Canada because they are faster and more secure as a transaction.

✓ However, I mostly rely on cards and make online payments, especially in Canada, because they are faster and more secure for transactions.

Use 'make online payments' instead of 'do online payments'; remove duplicate 'in'; 'in Canada' needs no extra preposition; 'as a transaction' is incorrect — use 'for transactions' or 'for a transaction.' Also add a comma after 'Canada' for clarity.

× Absolutely, it's convenient to use coins on the specific places such as the stores like Dollarama.

✓ Absolutely, it's convenient to use coins in specific places such as stores like Dollarama.

Use 'in' rather than 'on' for places. Remove the article 'the' before 'specific places' and the redundant 'the' before 'stores.' Saying 'in specific places such as stores like Dollarama' is clearer.

× They can accept the coins very easily.

✓ They accept coins very easily.

Use simple present 'accept' for a habitual fact rather than 'can accept' unless emphasizing ability. Omit 'the' before 'coins' when speaking generally. The shorter sentence is more natural.

× Otherwise I'll use mostly the payment methods just like Apple Pay or online platforms, which makes me more convenient and comfortable for the transaction.

✓ Otherwise, I mostly use payment methods such as Apple Pay or online platforms, which make transactions more convenient and comfortable for me.

Place 'mostly' before the verb for natural word order; use 'such as' not 'just like' in this context; 'which make' should agree with plural 'payment methods'; 'more convenient and comfortable for me' is correct phrasing. Add comma after 'Otherwise.'

× When I was a child, I used to collect coins that my father used to give me as a pocket money.

✓ When I was a child, I used to collect coins that my father gave me as pocket money.

Avoid repeating 'used to' twice; use simple past 'gave' after 'used to collect.' Also 'pocket money' does not take an article when used generally, so remove 'a.'

× Me and my sister used to collect it in our Piggy Bank to save the money to buy sweets afterwards.

✓ My sister and I used to collect them in our piggy bank to save money to buy sweets later.

Use 'My sister and I' (subject pronoun) instead of 'Me and my sister.' 'Coins' is plural so use 'them.' 'Piggy bank' need not be capitalized. 'Save money' is more natural than 'save the money,' and 'later' is more natural than 'afterwards' here.

× We love the sweets at that moment such as candies and lollipops.

✓ We loved sweets at that time, such as candies and lollipops.

Match past tense 'loved' with 'When I was a child.' Use 'at that time' rather than 'at that moment.' Drop 'the' before 'sweets' when speaking generally.

× Definitely whenever I step out of my house, I have some of coins with me because sometimes it's quite necessary to have some cash within yourself.

✓ Definitely, whenever I step out of my house, I have some coins with me because sometimes it's necessary to have some cash on you.

Use 'some coins' not 'some of coins.' 'Within yourself' is incorrect for carrying cash; use 'on you.' Add comma after 'Definitely.'

× For instance, last time I went to Dolrahman, their transaction machines for Apple Pay was not working.

✓ For instance, the last time I went to Dolrahman, their Apple Pay transaction machines were not working.

Use 'were' to agree with plural 'machines.' Place 'the' before 'last time' for specificity and reorder 'Apple Pay transaction machines' for natural phrasing.

× That time I realized how coins were important to have.

✓ At that time I realized how important it was to have coins.

Use 'at that time' and change the clause to 'how important it was to have coins' for correct word order and tense. 'How coins were important to have' is awkward and ungrammatical.