梦想— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the response grammatically correct, concise and more natural. Start with a clear topic sentence and add a brief supporting detail. Use correct tense and article usage. For example, say when the dream started and what kind of designer you wanted to be.

示例: Yes. When I was a child, my dream was to become a fashion designer because I loved drawing clothes and experimenting with colors.

建议: Clarify meaning and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide a specific example of who you share with and what you talk about. Keep it to one topic sentence plus one supporting sentence.

示例: Yes, I often share my dreams with my close friends, and we regularly discuss our career goals and creative ideas, which helps us motivate each other.

建议: Make a single, coherent statement about why dreams are meaningful and support it with one specific reason. Remove hesitations and repeat words. Use correct verb forms and clearer vocabulary (passion, motivation, perspective).

示例: Yes, I think dreams are meaningful because they give me direction and motivation; for example, my design dream broadened my perspective and inspired me to learn new skills.

建议: Give a direct answer followed by a concise plan or example of what you will do. Avoid vague phrases like "from then on" and incomplete endings. Use two sentences: one to answer, one to give specific steps.

示例: Yes, I definitely want to make my dreams come true. To achieve them, I plan to study design courses, build a portfolio, and seek internships to gain practical experience.

× Yes, when I in my childhood, my dream is to be a designer.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my dream was to be a designer.

The sentence mixes present tense with a past time reference. 'When I in my childhood' is ungrammatical; use 'when I was a child' or 'in my childhood'. Because the speaker refers to a past state, verbs should be in the past tense: 'was.' Suggestion: Use 'when I was a child' and keep verb tense consistent ('my dream was').

× Yes, I always share my dreams with my friend and simultaneously we always talk about our. Our objects or or. Interesting, we both have.

✓ Yes, I always share my dreams with my friends and we often talk about our goals and interests.

Problems include incorrect singular/plural nouns and broken phrases. 'my friend' should be 'my friends' if speaking generally; 'we always talk about our.' is incomplete. 'Our objects' is incorrect — likely meant 'our goals' or 'objects' is a false friend. Remove fillers and duplicate words. Use 'often' or 'simultaneously' (but 'simultaneously' is awkward here) and combine into one clear sentence: 'we often talk about our goals and interests.'

× Yes, because it's the it's the goal I want to achieve and I can I can try my best to do it to broaden my horizon and it can also brings me passion or affectionate on the things.

✓ Yes, because it is the goal I want to achieve, and I can try my best to do it to broaden my horizons, and it can also bring me passion and affection for those things.

Multiple tense and verb form errors: avoid repetition ('it's the it's the'), and when listing actions use base verb forms after modals and auxiliary verbs. 'can also brings' is incorrect because modal 'can' should be followed by base verb 'bring.' 'affectionate on the things' is incorrect collocation; use 'affection for those things.' 'horizon' should be plural 'horizons' in this context. Clean sentence structure and consistent verb forms improve clarity.

× Yes, I want to make my dreams come true and from then on I will try my best to do anything I can and use my effort to prove I can achieve my dreams to broaden my.

✓ Yes, I want to make my dreams come true, and from then on I will try my best to do everything I can to prove I can achieve my dreams and broaden my horizons.

Sentence fragments and awkward phrases: 'use my effort' is unnatural; prefer 'do everything I can' or 'make an effort.' 'prove I can achieve my dreams to broaden my' is incomplete — finish with 'broaden my horizons.' Keep future intentions with 'will' and follow with appropriate infinitive phrases ('to do,' 'to prove').