金钱— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and remove hesitations. For example, say when it happened, why you borrowed, who helped, and the outcome. Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes. I borrowed money from a friend last month because I was ill and couldn’t go to work. As a result, I couldn’t pay my rent, so my friend kindly lent me enough to cover it. Fortunately, I repaid them when I returned to work a few weeks later.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and add a specific detail (reason or result). Use linking words (for example, because, so, and) to make it coherent. Avoid filler words and name details only if relevant. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes. I lent money once to a friend called Danaj because he was facing a financial problem and needed urgent help. I gave him the amount he needed, and he repaid me within a month.

× Yes, I borrowed money from others as last month.

✓ Yes, I borrowed money from others last month.

Unnecessary use of 'as' with a time expression is incorrect; 'last month' alone indicates past time. Remove 'as' to form a correct past time phrase and keep the past tense verb 'borrowed'. Suggestion: Say 'last month' directly after the verb: 'I borrowed money from others last month.'

× Uh, I'm I was not well and during that time I did not go to the go for my work.

✓ I was not well, and during that time I did not go to work.

Several issues: extra 'I'm' is redundant and incorrect, 'did not go to the go for my work' contains duplicated words and wrong preposition use. Use simple past 'I was not well' and the fixed phrase 'go to work'. Suggestion: Remove 'I'm', delete the extra 'go for', and use 'go to work'.

× So for my rent, I was borrowing money from my friend.

✓ So for my rent, I borrowed money from my friend.

Progressive past 'was borrowing' suggests an ongoing action; context implies a completed action at that time. Use simple past 'borrowed' to match the time reference 'last month'. Suggestion: Use simple past when referring to a specific past event: 'I borrowed money.'

× Yes, a one time I lend money to others because one of my friend whose name is Danaj, uh, he's in, he was in problem and during that time I gave him money.

✓ Yes, one time I lent money to someone because one of my friends, whose name is Danaj, was in trouble, and during that time I gave him money.

Multiple issues: 'a one time' is ungrammatical—use 'one time' or 'once'. 'I lend' should be past tense 'I lent'. 'One of my friend' needs plural 'friends'. 'He was in problem' requires the noun 'trouble'. The clause 'he's in, he was in problem' mixes tenses; use past 'was'. Also use 'someone' or 'others' consistently. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs for past events ('lent', 'was'), pluralize 'friends', and use the noun 'trouble'.