工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 답변이 자연스럽고 내용을 잘 전달하고 있으나, 'umm' 같은 불필요한 말버릇을 줄이고 문장을 더 명확하고 간결하게 구성하는 것이 좋습니다. 또한, 마지막 문장이 완성되지 않아 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 문장 구조를 명확히 하고, 5문장 이내로 답변을 구성하세요.

範例: I am currently working as a producer at an entertainment company. I have been in this role for three years. My responsibilities include film production and marketing. The job is intense but very rewarding. I enjoy the challenges it brings.

建議: 답변이 질문에 직접적으로 답하고 있으나, 'umm' 같은 말버릇을 줄이고 문장을 더 자연스럽게 연결하는 연습이 필요합니다. 또한, 'Tangbadung'의 정확한 발음이나 표기를 확인하고, 위치 설명을 조금 더 구체적으로 하면 좋습니다.

範例: My company is located in Tangbadung, which is in the northern part of Seoul. It usually takes me about an hour to get there because of heavy traffic during rush hour.

建議: 솔직한 의견을 잘 표현했으나, 'umm' 같은 말버릇을 줄이고 문장 연결을 더 자연스럽게 하는 것이 좋습니다. 예시를 들 때는 'for example' 대신 다른 연결어를 사용해 다양성을 높이고, 문장을 조금 더 명확하게 구성하세요.

範例: Honestly, it's a challenging place to work because my boss is unpredictable and spontaneous. As a result, I find it hard to organize my tasks. For instance, just yesterday, he changed our schedule at the last minute.

建議: 답변이 긍정적이지만, 'umm' 같은 말버릇이 많아 자연스러운 흐름을 방해합니다. 문장을 더 간결하고 명확하게 만들고, 이유를 구체적으로 설명하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: Yes, I really love my workplace because there is a French International School nearby. Also, there are many bakeries close to my company, so I can enjoy delicious bread whenever I want.

建議: 답변에 오타가 있습니다('screen lighter'는 아마 'screenwriter'일 것입니다). 또한, 'umm' 같은 말버릇을 줄이고 문장을 더 명확하고 자연스럽게 구성하세요. 구체적인 계획과 이유를 더 자세히 설명하면 좋습니다.

範例: In the future, I plan to become a professional screenwriter. I especially enjoy watching comedy films, so I am considering writing my own comedy script similar to 'The Hangover.'

× my responsibility range from film production to marketing

✓ my responsibilities range from film production to marketing

The subject 'responsibility' should be plural 'responsibilities' to agree with the plural verb 'range'. This is a singular and plural agreement issue.

× this job is really intense but very rewarding at the.

✓ this job is really intense but very rewarding.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'at the.' which is incomplete and causes sentence structure error. Removing 'at the.' corrects the sentence.

× My company is located in Tangbadung which is in northern part of Seoul.

✓ My company is located in Tangbadung which is in the northern part of Seoul.

The phrase 'in northern part' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'northern part'. This is an incorrect use of prepositions and articles.

× there are a lot of bakery umm near my company so I can eat delicious bread whenever I want.

✓ there are a lot of bakeries umm near my company so I can eat delicious bread whenever I want.

'bakery' should be plural 'bakeries' because 'a lot of' requires a plural noun. This is an incorrect use of quantifiers.