工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to reduce hesitation and filler words like 'uh' and 'um' to make your answer sound more natural and fluent. Also, organise your answer more clearly by starting with a direct response and then adding supporting details. Avoid repeating information unnecessarily to keep your answer concise and effective.

範例: I am currently a full-time student studying for a Master of Teaching, and I also work part-time. I expect to finish my studies by the end of this year, after which I plan to work full-time and no longer be a student.

建議: Focus on using more precise vocabulary and avoid filler words to improve fluency. Also, try to link your sentences smoothly using linking words to make your answer more coherent. For example, use 'and' or 'also' to connect ideas and provide specific details about your role.

範例: I work at Maple, which is one of the largest sports service providers across Sydney. I've been with the company for two years as a sport worker, where I assist various clients in different areas.

建議: Try to avoid excessive hesitation and complete your sentences fully. Use linking words like 'because' and 'in addition' effectively to connect your ideas. Also, be more specific about the flexible working arrangements to enrich your answer.

範例: It's a great place to work because all employees feel included and respected. They are fairly paid, and in addition, the company offers flexible working hours, allowing some employees to work from home.

建議: Reduce repetition and filler words to make your answer more concise and natural. Use linking words like 'because' and 'and' to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repeating the same words like 'love' and 'really good'.

範例: I really enjoy working there because the people are friendly, and I have a strong relationship with my manager and colleagues. The work itself is fulfilling, and I feel included, valued, and respected.

建議: Complete your sentences fully to avoid leaving ideas unfinished. Use clear and direct language to express your future plans. Also, avoid filler words and try to organise your answer logically with linking words like 'after' or 'once'.

範例: I plan to continue working at this organisation until I complete my Master of Teaching. After that, I hope to become a full-time teacher in the Australian education sector by the end of this year.

× Well, I for, I study full time and, uh, at the same time I also work part time.

✓ Well, I study full time and, uh, at the same time I also work part time.

The phrase 'I for' is incorrect and unnecessary here. It seems to be a filler or a mistake. Removing 'for' corrects the sentence and makes it grammatically correct.

× Uh, I'm enrolled in master of teaching.

✓ Uh, I'm enrolled in a Master of Teaching.

The phrase 'master of teaching' requires an article 'a' before it and 'Master of Teaching' should be capitalised as it is a specific degree title.

× So my study is completing, uh, by the end of this year and after that I will be working full time and I won't be student anymore.

✓ So my study will be completed by the end of this year and after that I will be working full time and I won't be a student anymore.

The phrase 'my study is completing' is incorrect; the correct passive form is 'my study will be completed'. Also, 'won't be student' is missing the article 'a' before 'student'.

× I work at a company, its name is Maple.

✓ I work at a company; its name is Maple.

The sentence is a run-on. Using a semicolon or splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Also, 'its' is correct here as a possessive pronoun referring to the company.

× It's a sport work service provider, uh, across Sydney.

✓ It's a sport work service provider across Sydney.

The comma before 'across Sydney' is unnecessary and disrupts the flow. Removing it improves sentence structure.

× So it's one of the, uh, largest companies in this sector.

✓ So it's one of the largest companies in this sector.

The comma after 'the' is unnecessary and breaks the sentence flow. Removing it corrects the sentence.

× I've been working with this company for the last two years.

✓ I've been working with this company for the last two years.

This sentence is correct as it uses the present perfect continuous tense appropriately to indicate an action continuing up to now.

× My job title is, uh, sport worker and uh, yeah, I worked with various clients in different areas.

✓ My job title is, uh, sport worker and, uh, yeah, I work with various clients in different areas.

The student uses past tense 'worked' but the context suggests ongoing work, so present tense 'work' is appropriate.

× This is an amazing place to work because, uh, all the employees, uh, feel included in the organization.

✓ This is an amazing place to work because, uh, all the employees, uh, feel included in the organisation.

In Australian English, 'organisation' is the preferred spelling over 'organization'.

× They feel respected, they feel that they are fairly paid by the, uh, organization.

✓ They feel respected, they feel that they are fairly paid by the, uh, organisation.

Again, 'organisation' is the correct Australian English spelling.

× In addition to that, uh, the company provides flexible hours for the people who can, uh, work from either from home or.

✓ In addition to that, uh, the company provides flexible hours for people who can, uh, work either from home or elsewhere.

The phrase 'work from either from home or' is incomplete and contains a repeated preposition 'from'. Correcting to 'work either from home or elsewhere' completes the thought and removes redundancy.

× I definitely love my workplace because, uh, the people there are very friendly.

✓ I definitely love my workplace because, uh, the people there are very friendly.

This sentence is correct.

× I love my manager and I have a really good relationship with my manager and colleagues at the same time, and I enjoy being employed at this company and uh, and the nature of work is really good.

✓ I love my manager and I have a really good relationship with my manager and colleagues at the same time, and I enjoy being employed at this company, and uh, the nature of the work is really good.

Adding 'the' before 'nature of work' is necessary to specify the particular nature being referred to.

× I feel included, valued and respected.

✓ I feel included, valued and respected.

This sentence is correct.

× Well, I want to work at this organization for a while till my study is completed.

✓ Well, I want to work at this organisation for a while until my study is completed.

In Australian English, 'organisation' is preferred. Also, 'till' is informal; 'until' is more appropriate in formal speech.

× Upon completion of my Master of Teaching, I aspire to work as a full time employer within the education sector of Australia.

✓ Upon completion of my Master of Teaching, I aspire to work as a full-time employee within the education sector of Australia.

'Full time' should be hyphenated as 'full-time' when used as an adjective. Also, 'employer' is incorrect here; the student means 'employee'.

× So by the end of this year I will be a full time teacher in one of the.

✓ So by the end of this year I will be a full-time teacher in one of the schools.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. Adding 'schools' completes the sentence logically. Also, 'full time' should be hyphenated as 'full-time'.