工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer deer iluu todorhoi, zohistoi ug helbereer helj, ug helleg, tsugluulga ug, ug helleg deer anhaarah heregtei. Jishee ni, "I have been working as an administrative translator in the mining industry for about seven years. My main responsibility is translating timesheets and other materials between English and Mongolian. I find this job rewarding because it allows me to maintain a good work-life balance while using English."

範例: I have been working as an administrative translator in the mining industry for about seven years. My main responsibility is translating timesheets and other materials between English and Mongolian. I find this job rewarding because it allows me to maintain a good work-life balance while using English.

建議: Ug helleg, ug tsugluulga, todorhoi medeelel deer anhaarah heregtei. Link ug hereglej, ug helberee saijruulah heregtei. Jishee ni, "I work for a Mongolian company that is an Australian-based multinational providing blasting services worldwide. As an administrator, I mainly handle documents and translation tasks."

範例: I work for a Mongolian company that is an Australian-based multinational providing blasting services worldwide. As an administrator, I mainly handle documents and translation tasks.

建議: Ug helberee iluu todorhoi, zohistoi bolgoh, ug helleg deer anhaarah heregtei. Link ug hereglej, ug helberee saijruulah heregtei. Jishee ni, "Yes, it is an excellent place to work. My office is spacious and cozy, which helps me concentrate on my tasks. Additionally, the company provides modern technology that supports our work efficiently."

範例: Yes, it is an excellent place to work. My office is spacious and cozy, which helps me concentrate on my tasks. Additionally, the company provides modern technology that supports our work efficiently.

建議: Ug helberee todorhoi, zohistoi bolgoh, ug helleg deer anhaarah heregtei. Link ug hereglej, ug helberee saijruulah heregtei. Jishee ni, "Yes, I admire my company's commitment to sustainable innovation and technology in the mining industry. I am excited to be part of the team contributing to the implementation of new innovative systems."

範例: Yes, I admire my company's commitment to sustainable innovation and technology in the mining industry. I am excited to be part of the team contributing to the implementation of new innovative systems.

建議: Ug helberee todorhoi, zohistoi bolgoh, ug helleg deer anhaarah heregtei. Link ug hereglej, ug helberee saijruulah heregtei. Jishee ni, "In the next few years, I plan to pursue a master's degree in Business Administration at the National University of Mongolia. This will help me develop my skills and advance my long-term career goals."

範例: In the next few years, I plan to pursue a master's degree in Business Administration at the National University of Mongolia. This will help me develop my skills and advance my long-term career goals.

× I am working as administration translation in mining industry.

✓ I am working as an administration translator in the mining industry.

The phrase 'administration translation' is incorrect; it should be 'administration translator' to indicate the job role. Also, 'mining industry' requires the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific industry.

× I have been working this role around the seven years.

✓ I have been working in this role for around seven years.

The verb 'working' requires the preposition 'in' before 'this role'. Also, 'for' is used to indicate duration of time, and 'around the seven years' should be 'around seven years' without 'the'.

× I mainly handle the timesheet translate materials between English to Mongolia.

✓ I mainly handle timesheet translation materials between English and Mongolian.

The phrase 'timesheet translate materials' is incorrect; it should be 'timesheet translation materials'. Also, 'between English to Mongolia' should be 'between English and Mongolian' to correctly indicate the languages involved.

× I think this job is quite rewarding because it gives me the good life balance while using English.

✓ I think this job is quite rewarding because it gives me a good work-life balance while using English.

The phrase 'the good life balance' is incorrect; it should be 'a good work-life balance'. 'Work-life balance' is the correct term, and 'a' is the appropriate article here.

× I work at Mongolia company which is Australian uh base based uh multinational company to provide blast blasting service around the world.

✓ I work at a Mongolian company which is an Australian-based multinational company providing blasting services around the world.

'Mongolia company' should be 'Mongolian company' to use the correct adjective form. 'Australian uh base based uh' should be 'Australian-based'. Also, 'blast blasting service' is redundant; 'blasting services' is correct. 'To provide' should be 'providing' to fit the sentence structure.

× I'm working as the administrator and mainly handle the documents and translating materials.

✓ I'm working as an administrator and mainly handle documents and translate materials.

'The administrator' should be 'an administrator' unless a specific administrator is meant. 'Translating materials' should be 'translate materials' to maintain parallel verb forms with 'handle'.

× Yes, I definitely say it's excellent place to work there.

✓ Yes, I definitely say it's an excellent place to work there.

The phrase 'excellent place' requires the indefinite article 'an' before it.

× My office is spacious, cozy and easy to concentrate my tasks tasks and also provided the modern technology.

✓ My office is spacious, cozy, and makes it easy to concentrate on my tasks. It also provides modern technology.

The original sentence lacks proper verb structure and prepositions. 'Easy to concentrate my tasks' should be 'easy to concentrate on my tasks'. 'Provided' should be 'provides' to agree with the present tense and subject 'office'.

× Everything we have to essential the war essential the works.

✓ Everything we have is essential for the work.

The original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. The corrected sentence clarifies the meaning and uses proper structure.

× Yes, I admire that my company purpose the sustainability innovation technology implement in the mining industry.

✓ Yes, I admire that my company pursues sustainability, innovation, and technology implementation in the mining industry.

'Purpose' should be 'pursues'. The phrase 'the sustainability innovation technology implement' is incorrect; it should be 'sustainability, innovation, and technology implementation'.

× I'm so excited to part of the my teams to contributing the new innovation systems implementing around.

✓ I'm so excited to be part of my team contributing to the implementation of new innovative systems.

'To part of the my teams' should be 'to be part of my team'. 'Contributing the new innovation systems implementing around' is ungrammatical; it should be 'contributing to the implementation of new innovative systems'.

× In the next upcoming years, I wanted to pursue my master degree as Business Administration in Mongolia National University.

✓ In the next few years, I want to pursue my master's degree in Business Administration at Mongolia National University.

'Wanted' is past tense; it should be present tense 'want' to express future plans. 'Master degree as Business Administration' should be 'master's degree in Business Administration'. 'Mongolia National University' should be 'Mongolia National University' with 'at' as the preposition.

× It helps me to uh, develop my skills and I and level up my long term uh, career goals.

✓ It helps me to develop my skills and level up my long-term career goals.

The phrase 'I and level up' is incorrect; 'I' should be removed. 'Long term' should be hyphenated as 'long-term' when used as an adjective.