工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Provide a clear, direct topic sentence and correct tense/grammar. Keep it concise (1–2 sentences), avoid filler words and redundant phrases. Use proper tense to show recent change and state your current status and plans briefly.

範例: I recently stopped working at an NGO two months ago, and I am currently unemployed while preparing to pursue a master's degree. I am using this time to apply to programs and improve my qualifications.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your role and employer, then give 1–2 specific supporting details. Remove fillers (umm, uh) and use consistent, accurate job-related vocabulary (e.g. logistics management, stakeholders).

範例: I worked as a field coordinator for Practical Action Consulting on the Modern Energy Cooking Services project. In that role I handled logistics management and regularly met stakeholders and local dealers to coordinate project activities.

建議: Answer directly then give 1–2 concise reasons with specific examples instead of vague complaints. Avoid repetition and grammatic errors; use linking words like 'because' or 'although'.

範例: Not really. I found it unsatisfying because I rarely went to the office and had little interaction with colleagues, so I felt isolated. Also, as the youngest staff member I was often assigned minor tasks that did not use my skills.

建議: Give a clear opinion then support it with concise, specific reasons and one brief example. Use correct tense and stronger vocabulary (e.g. 'unappreciated', 'undervalued'). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: No, I didn't enjoy working there because I only visited the office twice a week and rarely interacted with colleagues, so I often felt unnoticed. Despite putting in a lot of effort, I felt unappreciated and undervalued.

建議: State your goal clearly and give specific details about the type of NGO, the role you want, and why. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. women's education, empowerment) and limit to 2–3 sentences. Mention concrete steps you will take if possible.

範例: I want to work for an NGO focused on women's education and empowerment, ideally in program coordination or outreach. I am particularly interested in organizations that promote girls' schooling and adult literacy, and I plan to apply for roles and volunteer to gain relevant experience.

× So two months back I've used to work in an office at NGO and now I'm jobless and I'm trying to be to pursue master degree as a student.

✓ Two months ago I used to work in an office at an NGO, and now I'm unemployed and trying to pursue a master's degree as a student.

The phrase 'I've used to work' mixes present perfect with 'used to' which indicates past habitual action; use simple past 'used to' or 'I worked'. 'Two months back' is more naturally 'Two months ago'. 'NGO' needs an article: 'an NGO'. 'I'm jobless' is acceptable but 'unemployed' is more natural. 'I'm trying to be to pursue master degree' is ungrammatical; use 'trying to pursue a master's degree'. Also include the possessive apostrophe in 'master's' and an article before it. Suggestion: Use simple past or 'used to' alone for past habits, include appropriate articles, and structure the infinitive 'trying to pursue'.

× So I worked as a field coordinator in practical action consulting and mixed project, modern energy cooking services project, umm, there I worked uh, as a logistic management person.

✓ I worked as a field coordinator at Practical Action Consulting on the Modern Energy Cooking Services project, where I worked in logistics management.

Use consistent past tense 'I worked'. Proper nouns should be capitalized ('Practical Action Consulting', 'Modern Energy Cooking Services'). 'Logistic management person' is awkward; 'logistics management' or 'logistics manager' is better. Combine clauses for clarity and avoid repeating 'I worked' unnecessarily. Suggestion: Capitalize organization and project names, and use concise role descriptions like 'worked in logistics'.

× And I also got a lot of opportunity to meet stakeholders, uh, dealers and also got umm, opportunity to have a meeting with them.

✓ I also had many opportunities to meet stakeholders and dealers and to hold meetings with them.

'Got a lot of opportunity' is informal and ungrammatical; use 'had many opportunities'. Avoid repeating 'got ... opportunity'; use plural 'opportunities' and parallel structure 'to meet ... and to hold meetings'. Pronoun use 'them' is fine but revise verbs for correctness and fluency. Suggestion: Use 'had opportunities' and parallel infinitive forms for readability.

× No, I don't think so. As I was field coordinator, I don't always have to go to the office and that's why I don't have many friends in office.

✓ No, I don't think so. As I was a field coordinator, I didn't always have to go to the office, so I didn't have many friends at the office.

Tense inconsistency: the student mixes past role ('I was a field coordinator') with present tense 'I don't always have to go' and 'I don't have many friends'. These should be past tense to match the time reference. Also add the article 'a' before 'field coordinator' and use 'at the office' for the location. Suggestion: Keep verb tenses consistent (past when describing past job) and include necessary articles.

× I was also the youngest 1 and I think like uh, they used to give me a very small, umm, small, small like work, which is very useless for me and I think that thing.

✓ I was also the youngest, and I think they used to give me very small, trivial tasks that were useless to me.

'the youngest 1' is incorrect; use 'the youngest' without a numeral. 'small, small like work' is ungrammatical and repetitive; use 'very small, trivial tasks'. 'which is very useless for me' should be 'that were useless to me' to match plural 'tasks' and past tense. Avoid filler words. Suggestion: Use precise nouns ('tasks'), correct plurality, and remove unnecessary repetitions.

× No, I didn't like the place where I work, I only used to go twice a week as I was the field coordinator and I also think that a lot of people didn't even notice me and I feel really unrespected, unappreciated as I used to work really hard over there.

✓ No, I didn't like the place where I worked. I only used to go twice a week as I was the field coordinator, and I think many people didn't even notice me. I felt really disrespected and unappreciated because I used to work really hard there.

Tense consistency: 'didn't like the place where I work' should be 'worked' to refer to the past. Separate into sentences for clarity. 'I feel really unrespected' mixes present feeling with past job; use 'I felt'. 'Unrespected' is nonstandard; use 'disrespected'. 'Over there' is informal; 'there' suffices. Ensure parallel adjective forms 'disrespected and unappreciated'. Suggestion: Keep past tense throughout when talking about past job and use standard adjectives.

× So I really wanted to work in an NGO where, uh, the NGO works for women and I've also one things called over Regis where, uh, female are pushed to education.

✓ I really want to work in an NGO that supports women. I also know of an organization called 'Over Regis' where females are encouraged to pursue education.

Mixed tenses: 'I really wanted' should be present 'I really want' if speaking of future plans. 'the NGO works for women' is okay but 'that supports women' is more natural. 'I've also one things called' is ungrammatical; use 'I also know of an organization called'. Use 'females are encouraged to pursue education' rather than 'pushed to education'. Suggestion: Use present tense for current desires and choose natural verbs like 'supports' and 'encourages'.

× Female are more like they give opportunity to female to study.

✓ They give more opportunities to women to study.

'Female' used as a noun is awkward in this context; use 'women'. Subject-verb agreement 'Female are' is incorrect; 'They give' or 'The organization gives'. 'Give opportunity to female' should be plural 'opportunities to women'. Also avoid filler phrase 'more like'. Suggestion: Use 'women' as the noun, ensure correct plurality, and use 'opportunities' plural.

× They just focus, they are more concerned in education.

✓ They focus primarily on education; they are more concerned with education.

'Concerned in education' is incorrect preposition usage; use 'concerned with education' or 'focused on education'. Streamline punctuation: use a semicolon or split sentences. 'They just focus' is informal; 'They focus primarily' is clearer. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('concerned with' or 'focused on') and avoid informal filler words.