工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Remove repetition and give a clear, concise topic sentence. Include one short detail about your role or employer using correct name and article. Use natural phrasing and correct minor grammar errors.

範例: I’m currently working as a security guard for VP Protection in Toronto. I patrol the building and monitor CCTV, which helps me stay alert and responsible during my shift.

建議: Answer directly without repeating the examiner and correct company name and tense. Give a precise location or setting and use one supporting detail to clarify what you do there. Avoid vague words like "at the well."

範例: I work for VP Protection in downtown Toronto, mainly at a commercial office building. I check entrances, control visitor access, and oversee security systems during my shift.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence (yes/no + reason), avoid redundancy, and limit to one or two specific benefits. Use linking words (for example, because, and) correctly and avoid filler phrases like "and so on."

範例: Yes, it’s a great place to work because the team is friendly and the environment feels positive. For example, I meet many visitors every day, which has helped me improve my communication skills and confidence.

建議: Give a direct answer and avoid repeating previous points verbatim. Be specific about which skills you’ve learned and use linking words correctly. Limit to up to four sentences.

範例: Yes, I enjoy working there because the atmosphere is supportive and respectful. I’ve learned conflict de-escalation techniques from experienced colleagues, and interacting with visitors has improved my customer-service skills.

建議: Use correct tense and grammar, and give a clearer plan or preference. If you have no definite plans, say so and then mention a realistic goal with reasons. Avoid vague claims about the company and provide one specific reason why you prefer it.

範例: I don’t have firm plans right now, but I hope to work for Allied Universal in the US in the future because they offer more training and career progression. I learned about their training programs online, and I believe joining them would help me advance to a supervisory role.

× Currently Currently I'm working with the VP Protection as a security guard in Toronto.

✓ Currently I'm working with VP Protection as a security guard in Toronto.

Repeated word 'Currently' is a redundancy and needs removal. Also 'the' before company name is unnecessary when using a proper name. Suggestion: use a single 'Currently' and omit the article before the company name.

× As earlier I said, I worked as a security guard for VP Production in Toronto at the well.

✓ As I said earlier, I work as a security guard for VP Production in Toronto as well.

The student switches to past tense 'worked' which conflicts with earlier statement that they are currently working. Use present simple 'work' to match ongoing employment. Also word order: 'As I said earlier' is the natural phrasing. 'at the well' is likely intended as 'as well' meaning 'also'; correct phrase is 'as well'.

× Yes, I really like the place of my work because it because it gives me a great kind of vibe as well as I have the opportunity to meet with new different people have I can enhance my communication skills, boost my confidence in front of others and so on.

✓ Yes, I really like my workplace because it gives me a great vibe and I have the opportunity to meet different people, which helps me enhance my communication skills and boost my confidence in front of others.

Multiple problems: repeated phrase 'because it because it' (redundancy), awkward 'place of my work' (use 'my workplace'), incorrect word order 'new different people' (use 'different people'), and 'have I can' is ungrammatical. Use a relative clause 'which helps me...' to connect ideas and parallel verbs 'enhance' and 'boost'. Remove vague 'and so on'.

× Yes, I really like the place where I work because it gives me a positive atmosphere as well as I have the opportunity to meet with new different people which I can where I can enhance my confidence as well as I can learn new skills from others.

✓ Yes, I really like the place where I work because it has a positive atmosphere and I have the opportunity to meet different people, where I can enhance my confidence and learn new skills from others.

Awkward phrasing: 'gives me a positive atmosphere' should be 'has a positive atmosphere' or 'provides a positive atmosphere'. 'new different people' should be 'different people'. Remove duplicated fragments 'which I can where I can'. Combine actions in parallel: 'enhance my confidence and learn new skills'.

× To be honest, I didn't made any future plans regarding my work but I usually prefer to work with Allied Universal which was situated in the US.

✓ To be honest, I haven't made any future plans regarding my work, but I would prefer to work with Allied Universal, which is based in the US.

Use present perfect 'haven't made' not 'didn't made' (incorrect past form). 'Prefer' referring to current preference should be 'would prefer' for hypothetical desire or keep 'prefer' with present meaning; here 'would prefer' is more natural. 'Which was situated' implies past; use present 'is based' since the company's location is current.

× I learned about this company from the social media because it gives us respect as well as valued so I definitely do work with.

✓ I learned about this company from social media because it treats its employees with respect and values them, so I would definitely like to work for them.

Problems: 'the social media' should be 'social media' (no article). 'it gives us respect as well as valued' is ungrammatical: use 'treats its employees with respect and values them.' 'so I definitely do work with' is incomplete and wrong verb tense; use 'I would definitely like to work for them' to express intent. Also use consistent pronouns ('them' for the company) and correct preposition 'work for' rather than 'work with' when referring to being employed by a company.