工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise in the topic sentence and avoid repeating general statements. Add one specific example of a task to show what makes the job challenging and rewarding, and link career development plans with concrete steps.

範例: I work as a national public servant in the policy division. For example, I draft regulatory proposals related to public safety, which is challenging because it requires balancing legal details and public opinion. Because of this experience, I plan to take advanced courses in administrative law next year to prepare for promotion.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the workplace, then give two concise supporting details using linking words. Correct small errors (e.g. 'where I walk' → 'when I walk') and be specific about what you do during the commute or break.

範例: I work in Kazemigaseki in central Tokyo. It takes about 40 minutes to commute by train, and on my way I usually read or prepare for meetings. Also, there are supermarkets and parks nearby, so I often take a short walk in the park during lunch to relax.

建議: Correct vocabulary and grammar (use 'area' or 'place' instead of 'press'). Give a concise opinion sentence followed by one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating 'convenient' and 'enjoyable.'

範例: Yes, it is a great place to work because the area has many supermarkets and well-known restaurants, so I can easily buy lunch. In addition, good transport links make commuting simple, which helps me keep a healthy work–life balance.

建議: Avoid repeating prior answers; answer directly and add a specific personal detail. Fix word choice ('press' → 'area') and use linking words to make the sentence coherent. Limit to two or three sentences.

範例: Yes, I like the area where I work because there are many restaurants and supermarkets nearby. For example, I often try different restaurants at lunchtime, which makes my workdays more enjoyable.

建議: Provide a clear plan with specific steps and timelines. Start with a concise goal sentence, then use linking words to list concrete actions (e.g., training, certifications, mentoring) and a short timeline to make the answer more convincing.

範例: I plan to specialise in policymaking and take on leadership roles in the next five years. To do that, I will enrol in a postgraduate course in public policy next year and seek mentoring from senior managers, which should prepare me for a leadership position within three to five years.

× It takes about 40 minutes from my house to my workplace.

✓ It takes about 40 minutes to get from my house to my workplace.

Use of prepositions and word order: the common English phrasing for travel time is 'it takes [time] to get from A to B'. The original 'takes about 40 minutes from my house to my workplace' is understandable but sounds unnatural. Adding 'to get' clarifies the action and corrects prepositional usage.

× I can relax where I walk.

✓ I can relax when I go for a walk.

Adverbial phrase placement and word choice: 'where I walk' is unclear and unnatural. To express that walking relaxes you, use 'when I go for a walk' or 'while walking'. This places the time/condition correctly and uses the idiomatic expression.

× Absolutely, yes. The press is very convenient because there are supermarkets and famous restaurants, so I feel enjoyable and very convenient that place.

✓ Absolutely. The area is very convenient because there are supermarkets and famous restaurants, so I enjoy being there and find it very convenient.

Word choice and adjective/adverb use: 'press' is incorrect for 'place' or 'area'. 'I feel enjoyable' is ungrammatical—'enjoyable' describes things, not feelings; you should say 'I enjoy being there'. Repeating 'very convenient' was awkward; revised sentence uses correct nouns and verbs and places adjectives/adverbs properly.

× I want to keep working there.

✓ I want to continue working there.

Word choice and collocation: 'keep working there' is understandable but 'continue working there' is a more natural collocation in formal speech. This corrects subtle pronoun/verb usage and improves register.

× Yes, the press is very convenient because there are famous restaurants and supermarkets, so I enjoy eating there and I use it. Very convenient.

✓ Yes, the area is very convenient because there are famous restaurants and supermarkets, so I enjoy eating there and I use them often.

Noun and pronoun agreement and preposition use: 'press' should be 'area' or 'place'. 'I use it' is vague—'use them' refers to restaurants and supermarkets (plural). Adding 'often' clarifies frequency. This corrects incorrect noun choice and pronoun agreement.

× I want to develop my career and I would like to be a specialist in policymaking.

✓ I want to develop my career, and I would like to become a specialist in policymaking.

Verb form and collocation: 'be a specialist' is acceptable, but 'become a specialist' better expresses a future career aspiration. The correction keeps present-tense desire while matching natural collocation.

× Moreover, I want to try a leadership role and I want to become a good leader in my company.

✓ Moreover, I want to take on a leadership role and become a good leader in my organization.

Verb and collocation: 'try a leadership role' is unnatural—'take on a leadership role' is idiomatic. Repeating 'I want' is unnecessary; combining clauses is clearer. 'Company' is fine but 'organization' fits wider contexts.

× Today, I would have strong interest in studying leadership and policymaking.

✓ Currently, I have a strong interest in studying leadership and policymaking.

Tense and modal misuse: 'Today, I would have strong interest' incorrectly uses conditional 'would' and omits an article. To express present interest, use present simple: 'I have a strong interest'. 'Currently' or 'today' as adverb is fine; include the indefinite article 'a' before 'strong interest'.