工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ดีมากแล้ว แต่ปรับให้กระชับและเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น โดยเริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ แล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดที่สั้นชัด ใช้ linking words เล็กน้อยเพื่อลำดับความคิด และหลีกเลี่ยงคำซ้ำ เช่น 'on the road' กับ 'community patrols' ที่อาจซ้อนกันได้

範例: I work as a police officer and have done so for about ten years. I mainly handle investigations and community patrols, so I regularly help people in my neighborhood. Because of this, I find my work very rewarding and meaningful.

建議: คำตอบชัดเจนแต่มีข้อผิดพลาดเล็กน้อย (คำซ้ำ 'the the') ควรปรับให้กระชับและเพิ่มคำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล ให้ตัวอย่างสถานการณ์สั้นๆ เพื่อเพิ่มความเฉพาะเจาะจง

範例: I work at the Anti-Trafficking in Persons Division within the Central Investigation Bureau. It’s a professional but often high-pressure environment, since we frequently deal with serious, time-sensitive cases such as rescuing victims and coordinating urgent investigations.

建議: โครงสร้างดี ตอบตรงและมีเหตุผล แต่สามารถย่อให้กระชับขึ้นและเชื่อมประโยคด้วย linking word เพียงคำเดียวเพื่อให้ลื่นไหลมากขึ้น และอาจยกตัวอย่างสั้นๆ เกี่ยวกับการทำงานเป็นทีม

範例: Yes, it’s a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional. As a result, we rely on teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases efficiently.

建議: ประโยคสุดท้ายไม่สมบูรณ์และมีข้อผิดไวยากรณ์ ('offer the good') ควรแก้ให้สมบูรณ์ ใช้โครงสร้าง 'not only... but also...' ให้ถูกต้อง และระบุรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจงเกี่ยวกับการประสานงานกับหน่วยงานอื่นๆ

範例: Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office’s central location makes coordination with other agencies much easier, which speeds up joint operations.

建議: มีไวยากรณ์ผิดเล็กน้อย ('to becoming', 'taking training international cooperation') ควรใช้รูปแบบ infinitive และเติมคำเชื่อมให้ถูกต้อง นอกจากนี้ให้ระบุแผนการฝึกอบรมหรือทักษะที่เฉพาะเจาะจงเพื่อเพิ่มความชัดเจน

範例: I plan to advance my career within the Shenzhen Investigation Bureau and become a specialist in cross-border investigations. To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training courses in international cooperation and cross-border case management.

× The the office is professional and often high pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases.

✓ The office is professional and often high pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases.

The sentence contains a duplicated definite article 'the the'. Remove the extra 'the' so there is only one definite article before 'office'. Suggestion: proofread for accidental repeated words and read the sentence aloud to catch duplicates.

× Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offer the good.

✓ Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office's central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities.

Several issues: missing possessive apostrophe/article for 'office central location' should be 'the office's central location' or 'the office's central location'. Subject-verb agreement: 'offer' should be 'offers' to agree with singular subject 'location'. 'the good' is incomplete and unclear; replaced with 'good opportunities' to complete the idea. Suggestions: use possessive form for location belonging to the office, match verb number to subject, and ensure noun phrases are complete and clear.

× I am planning to advance my career within the Shenzhen Investigation Bureau to becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

✓ I am planning to advance my career within the Shenzhen Investigation Bureau to become a specialist in cross-border investigations.

After 'to' (infinitive marker) the base form of the verb should be used. 'becoming' is a gerund/participle and is incorrect here. Suggestion: use 'to become' for intended future role following 'plan' or 'am planning'.

× To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training international cooperation.

✓ To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation.

Two issues: missing preposition 'in' after 'training' to indicate the subject area, and word order 'taking training international cooperation' is incorrect. Use 'taking training in international cooperation' or 'taking a course in international cooperation'. Suggestion: include the preposition 'in' and consider 'taking a course' for clarity.

× I am planning to advance my career within the Shenzhen Investigation Bureau to becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

✓ I am planning to advance my career within the Shenzhen Investigation Bureau to become a specialist in cross-border investigations.

The structure 'to becoming' incorrectly combines the infinitive marker 'to' with a gerund. Use the infinitive 'to become'. Additionally, 'within the Shenzhen Investigation Bureau' is fine; ensure prepositions match the intended meaning. Suggestion: use 'to become' after 'planning' and verify preposition choices.