工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ตอบได้ชัดเจนและเป็นธรรมชาติแล้ว แต่ควรย่อคำตอบให้น้อยกว่า 5 ประโยค และเพิ่มคำเชื่อมสั้นๆ เพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น “so” หรือ “therefore” พร้อมปรับคำบางส่วนให้กระชับมากขึ้น

範例: I work as a police officer and have been doing this for about ten years. I mainly handle investigations and write reports, so I help people directly. Therefore, I find the job very rewarding.

建議: คำตอบมีรายละเอียดเฉพาะและเป็นมืออาชีพ แต่ประโยคค่อนข้างยาว ควรแยกเป็นประโยคสั้นๆ เพื่อความชัดเจน และใช้คำเชื่อมอย่างเหมาะสมเพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผล

範例: I work at the Anti-Trafficking in Persons Division of the Central Investigation Bureau. The office is professional and often high-pressure because we handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly and carefully.

建議: ตอบตรงประเด็นและมีเหตุผลรองรับดีแล้ว แต่สามารถทำให้กระชับขึ้นอีกเล็กน้อย โดยลดการซ้ำคำว่า “because/so” และใช้คำเชื่อมเดียวเพียงพอ

範例: Yes, it’s a great place to work. The environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on strong teamwork to solve complex trafficking cases.

建議: คำตอบมีข้อมูลครบ แต่ยาวและมีข้อผิดพลาดเล็กน้อยทางไวยากรณ์ (เช่น tense/subject-verb agreement: “makes” vs “offer”) ควรแบ่งเป็นสองประโยคและแก้ไวยากรณ์ให้ถูกต้อง

範例: Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office is centrally located. This location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities for professional development.

建議: มีเนื้อหาชัดเจน แต่ประโยคแรกคลุมเครือและมีวลีที่ไม่จำเป็น (“to be planned”). ควรใช้โครงสร้างชัดเจนกว่า และเชื่อมเหตุผลกับกิจกรรมที่ทำเพื่อเป้าหมายอย่างเป็นระบบ

範例: I plan to advance my career at the Central Investigation Bureau by specializing in cross-border investigations. To achieve this, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

× I work as a police officer and have been on the road for about 10 years.

✓ I work as a police officer and have been on the road for about 10 years.

No grammatical correction needed. The sentence correctly uses the present perfect continuous to indicate an action/state continuing up to now. Suggestion: keep as is for clarity.

× I mainly handle investigations and writing reports, so I get to help people directly.

✓ I mainly handle investigations and write reports, so I get to help people directly.

Use of parallel verb forms is required. 'Handle investigations and writing reports' mixes base verb with gerund. Use two base verbs: 'handle investigations and write reports.' This keeps parallel structure.

× I work at the Anti Trafficking in Persons Division, part of the Central Investigation Bureau.

✓ I work at the Anti-Trafficking-in-Persons Division, part of the Central Investigation Bureau.

Use of hyphens in compound proper names improves readability and standardization. Also capitalization is correct. Suggest using hyphens for the compound name.

× The office is professional and often high pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly and carefully.

✓ The office is professional and often high-pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly and carefully.

Use a hyphen to make 'high-pressure' a compound adjective modifying 'office.' Without hyphen it reads awkwardly. The rest of sentence is correct.

× Yes, it is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on strong teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

✓ Yes, it is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on strong teamwork to investigate and solve complex human-trafficking cases.

No major subject-verb agreement error; correction adds hyphen in 'human-trafficking' to form a compound adjective modifying 'cases.' Suggest hyphenation for clarity.

× Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office is centrally located, which makes coordination with other agencies easier and offer good opportunities for professional development.

✓ Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office is centrally located, which makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities for professional development.

Subject-verb agreement: 'which' refers to 'the office being centrally located' (singular), so the verb should be 'offers' not 'offer.' Use third-person singular 'offers.'

× I am planning to advance my career within Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations to be planned.

✓ I am planning to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

The phrase 'to be planned' is unnecessary and ungrammatical here. Remove it to make the sentence clear and concise. Also add definite article 'the' before 'Central Investigation Bureau.'

× I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

✓ I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so that I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

Add 'that' for clarity in purpose clause (optional but helps formal register). Tense usage is correct (present continuous for current actions). Suggest adding 'that' to mark purpose.