家乡— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is generally clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "nature scenery" and "which attract many degrees." To improve, use more natural expressions and correct grammar, for example, say "natural scenery" and clarify what "degrees" refers to or replace it with a more appropriate word like "tourists." Also, avoid redundancy and keep the answer concise.

範例: My hometown is a small city in the northern part of my country. It is famous for its beautiful natural scenery, including mountains and rivers, which attract many tourists.

建議: Your answer has good ideas but some phrases are unnatural, such as "located in the centre of greenery" and "live deprived from different disease." To improve, use more natural expressions like "surrounded by greenery" and "live free from various diseases." Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid repetition.

範例: What I like most about my hometown is that it is surrounded by lush greenery. Because of this, we can breathe fresh air and live free from many common illnesses. Therefore, it is my favorite place to live.

建議: Your answer needs clearer tense usage and more natural phrasing. Instead of "I lived there from my childhood," say "I have lived there since my childhood." Also, avoid vague phrases like "this living area" and use "my hometown" or "this place." Use linking words to connect sentences logically.

範例: I have lived in my hometown since my childhood. I have many fond memories from this place, which is why it has always been my favorite place to live.

建議: Your answer has relevant content but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, say "a good place for young people" and "many opportunities" (plural). Also, avoid repeating "opportunities" excessively by using synonyms or restructuring sentences. Use linking words to improve coherence and make your suggestion more natural.

範例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because the government provides many opportunities, such as jobs, healthcare, and education. Therefore, I recommend that young people consider living there to benefit from these advantages.

× It is known for its beautiful nature scenery including mountains and river which attract many degrees.

✓ It is known for its beautiful natural scenery including mountains and rivers which attract many visitors.

The word 'nature' should be 'natural' as an adjective describing 'scenery'. 'River' should be plural 'rivers' to match 'mountains'. 'Degrees' is incorrect here; likely intended 'visitors' or 'tourists'. This improves clarity and correctness.

× The most interesting thing about my hometown is that it is located in the centre of greenery.

✓ The most interesting thing about my hometown is that it is located in the centre of greenery.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed.

× We can easily inhale fresh air and also live deprived from different disease.

✓ We can easily inhale fresh air and also live free from different diseases.

The phrase 'live deprived from' is incorrect; it should be 'live free from'. 'Disease' should be plural 'diseases' to indicate various illnesses.

× I lived there from my childhood.

✓ I have lived there since my childhood.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is appropriate to express an action continuing from the past to the present. 'Since' is used with a specific point in time like 'my childhood'.

× I have many memories that I made in this living area.

✓ I have many memories that I made in this place where I live.

The phrase 'living area' is awkward; 'place where I live' is clearer. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× So from my young age, this place is my favorite to live in.

✓ So from my young age, this place has been my favorite to live in.

The present perfect tense 'has been' is better to indicate a state continuing from the past to present. 'Young age' is acceptable but 'childhood' is more natural.

× Yes, my hometown is good place for youngsters because there are many opportunity for youngsters that government provided them, including job opportunities, healthcare opportunities, education opportunities.

✓ Yes, my hometown is a good place for youngsters because there are many opportunities for youngsters that the government provides, including job opportunities, healthcare opportunities, and educational opportunities.

'Good place' needs an article 'a'. 'Opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities'. 'Government' needs the definite article 'the'. 'Provided' should be present tense 'provides' to match the context. Added 'and' before the last item in the list for correct conjunction.

× That is why it's my suggestion to every young people to live in my hometown in order to get all opportunities.

✓ That is why I suggest every young person live in my hometown in order to get all opportunities.

'It's my suggestion' is awkward; 'I suggest' is more natural. 'Every young people' is incorrect; 'every' is followed by singular noun 'person'. The infinitive 'to live' can be simplified to 'live' after 'suggest'.