零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不自然的问题，建议简化句子结构，避免重复表达，并使用更自然的表达方式。

範例: I usually eat snacks when I'm not at home, such as at school or while traveling, because my mother advises me to avoid snacks since they are unhealthy.

建議: 回答不完整且表达混乱，建议直接回答问题并提供具体原因，避免使用不连贯的句子。

範例: I think eating snacks is unhealthy because many of them are salty and contain a lot of preservatives, which can harm my health.

建議: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不清晰，建议使用简单句子直接回答并补充具体细节。

範例: When I was a child, I rarely ate snacks because my mother was very strict and didn't allow me to eat many.

建議: 回答不完整且含糊，缺乏具体内容，建议明确说明喜欢的零食种类并给出理由。

範例: I like eating affordable snacks such as chips and cookies because they are tasty and easy to find.

× I have to admit that I'm a person of enjoying snack much.

✓ I have to admit that I'm a person who enjoys snacks a lot.

这里“a person of enjoying snack much”结构不正确，应该用“a person who enjoys snacks a lot”来表达“我很喜欢吃零食的人”。动词“enjoy”后面直接加动名词-ing形式是正确的，但这里需要一个定语从句来修饰“person”。另外，“snack”应为复数形式“snacks”，表示零食的种类或数量。

× my mother always advised advises me to not eat snacks anymore because they are unhealthy to me.

✓ my mother always advises me not to eat snacks anymore because they are unhealthy for me.

主语是第三人称单数“my mother”，谓语动词应使用第三人称单数形式“advises”。“to not eat”应改为“不定式的否定形式”即“not to eat”。“unhealthy to me”应改为“unhealthy for me”，介词使用错误。

× they are unhealthy to me.

✓ they are unhealthy for me.

形容词“unhealthy”后应搭配介词“for”表示对某人不健康，而不是“to”。

× I just eat them while I am not at home like in the school or while traveling.

✓ I just eat them when I am not at home, like at school or while traveling.

“while traveling”用法正确，但“in the school”应改为“at school”，因为表示地点时，学校用介词“at”。另外，“while”与“when”在这里表达时间更合适用“when”。

× Just as I said, my mother said it's unhealthy and this advice and to be specific a warning has been. Ditched in my mind for a long time.

✓ Just as I said, my mother said it's unhealthy, and this advice, to be specific a warning, has been etched in my mind for a long time.

句子结构混乱，“has been. Ditched”应连写为“has been etched”，表示“铭刻”。“advice and to be specific a warning”应用逗号分隔，明确表达。

× It's salty and.

✓ It's salty and unhealthy.

句子不完整，缺少谓语或补充说明，需补充完整表达。

× Well, when I was a child I seldom ate snacks.

✓ Well, when I was a child, I seldom ate snacks.

句子本身时态正确，但缺少逗号，影响阅读流畅。

× Just as sad because my mother she is pretty strict to me and I think I just eat snacks less than those who are surrounded by my home.

✓ Just as sad because my mother is pretty strict with me, and I think I ate fewer snacks than those who live around my home.

“my mother she”重复主语，应去掉“she”。“strict to me”应为“strict with me”。“eat snacks less”应改为“ate fewer snacks”，因为比较数量用“fewer”，且时态应与前文一致用过去时。

× those who are surrounded by my home.

✓ those who live around my home.

“surrounded by my home”表达不当，应该用“live around my home”表示“住在我家附近”。

× there are a multitude of, umm, kinds of snacks that I enjoy.

✓ there are a multitude of kinds of snacks that I enjoy.

“a multitude of”后面直接接复数名词即可，不需要逗号。

× the most preference for me is cheap.

✓ my favorite snacks are cheap ones.

“the most preference”表达错误，应使用“favorite”表示“最喜欢的”。“cheap”是形容词，需加名词“ones”或改为名词形式。

× Yeah, I like eating cheap.

✓ Yeah, I like eating cheap snacks.

“cheap”是形容词，不能单独作宾语，需加名词“snacks”使句子完整。